drinking problem

[nika2005]

I think  i have a problem and I am trying to fight it. I drink a bottle, bottle and a half wine a day or every other day. Tried AA - can tmake myself to go to these meetings and sit thru some of them, tried different locations, times etc. I like how i feel after it, the urge is gone, but i feel humiliated and worry about my privacy. Recently i noticed i am drinking while drivng ( a company car!) becaseu i cant drink at home so my bf would not comment ( he doesnt drink), but I need a glass of wine to decompress. So I keep bottles in laundry baskets etc. Knowing i can get busted, i still take this risk. Every morning i swera that today i onwt drink. Sometimes i am strong, some nights i am already at the liquore store. My mom is drinking heavily now and its ugly. Dont want to be like her.

Tried counseling - didnt work out. I am workign out daily, another additicion of mine - running, I never miss work or anything important becuase of drinking. I can afford it. I am confused, lost, please help me -----

Thank you for listening

[Julia M Aharonov, DO]

Alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs, craving and predilection for addiction to it is highly genetic, so I am not at all surprised to hear that you are a child of an alcoholic mother.  I will give you some info that will both scare you and give you hope.
Alcohol can cause great and irreversible damage to human body. Liver is slowly being disintegrated, which can lead to cirrhosis and late esophageal varices and gastric bleeding. There are many other problems that are caused by alcohol, but I mentioned this particular one because most alcoholics die from bleeding to death. Abrupt withdrawal from alcohol can also be very dangerous and even deadly. So all in all, it is a very bad drug, as I already said.
There is a new FDA approved treatment now and most insurances cover it. It is an injection called Vivitrol (naltrexone injectable depot).  I highly recommend that you look into it. It works for a full month and can be repeated as many times as needed.  It will take away your drive to drink as well as make you feel not as drunk or  euphoric if you does choose to take a drink. They have a website Vivitrol.com where you can find a doctor nearby who offers it.
You can also take the oral for of this drug, which may be cheaper. It is called Naltrexone. It has been shown in many studies to work just as well, but you must remember and be dedicated to take it every single day. You need to talk to your doctor and see which one of these will be better covered by your insurance, or if you do not have insurance, oral Naltrexone is the way to go.
Good luck to you, it is an awful affliction and invariably leads to tragic result if not treated, but with Vivitrol (Naltrexone) there is hope now.

[nika2005]

Thank you for listening. I didn't  except to hear anything back, but now I feel I have hope.  I will try AA, will go back tomorrow. I will see who can offer me that drug that can help me with cravings.   I am a healthy person,  but with years and months my will power against alcohol is diminishing. That's very scary.    

I do need a sponsor at AA meetings, I think.  And I am committed to fighting the habit.  I am so proud and impressed by those who have been sober for years, wish I have enough strength.  I know my job is stressful, but I am sure everyone else has some level of stress in their lives.  

I am really hoping with th help of the drug and AA I can make I.  I will attend a meeting tomorrow and will look for a Doctor.

I always pray in Chuch to God help me quit,  I will post my progress here, maybe it will be my commitment to stick to my promise.

Thank you so, so much

[mitinkitten]

Hi Nika,

Your story rings familiar. I have been sober for about 3.5 years. I am in AA. Give the meetings a chance before you give them up because they can help. I still get skidding about them sometimes when my depression is bad.

I have a good sponsor. I think that makes a huge difference.

But AA is only one way. And I've had good experience with counselors, but, there, too, you have to give it a chance before you say no. That's true of many things.

But, you see what you're doing isn't working, and as a recovering addict, I'd concur. Keep fighting til you find a solution ... you are worth it!

Dor

[ShiningG]

I believe you made the first step already. You recognised and admitted that you have a problem.
You have to realise tht drinking is not your problem. It's a symptome of your problem. Deep inside you have some unresolved issues what you are scared to think about and this is why you fight against them.
You say you need to have some wine to help you wind down. I need that too. Sometimes. Once a week. Or a glass with dinner. But if you think that you can not get relaxed unless you drink alcohol that means you have to work on this. Try something else to help you to calm down. Break the habit.
Come out from you comfort zone.
Good luck and don't forget, you are strong and deserv to be happy without all this toxic.