Avatar universal

I need someone's help...

I first realized I had agoraphobia in college. I lived with 3 other roommates but I never left my room because I couldn't see or talk to anyone. I absolutely hated walking to class. I even lied and made up excuses to the teachers because I didn't want to accidentally run into anyone on the way to class. Four years later, it hasn't gotten any better. Even when I'm hungry and need food, I can only get food through drive-thru. When I'm in public places, I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me. I feel extremely anxious and self-conscious. My face starts feeling really hot and I have to make eye contact with everyone to make sure they're not staring at me. I really want to conquer this fear somehow because I feel like it is ruining my life. I'm 25 and I would love to go out and do social things. I wish I could even just go to the market but I can't. I'm always trapped in my room. Does anyone have any advice? I've never told anyone this because I feel embarrassed with this problem.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
HI free, i just wanted to drop in and say your not alone, i am the same as you - identical, i have not been diagnosed and am only just now trying to get help for this and issues associated with it - i hope someone on here can give some advice - i cannot just yet - except to try stay positive, contact as many groups like this as you can and call a mental health line in your state / community (you can be anonymous) and ask for the best advice to take the first step (you already have - you want help) this is a tricky and isolating feeling, i panic all the way to the doctors surgery, and like you, only go drive through and i noow officially only have 1 friend in my phone that has not gotten sick of my constantly missing birthday parties / girls nights out / even just coffee etc.

I am 29 and am trying to get help for this and depression / anxiety (i feel there all the same thing!)

just wanted to let you know your not the only one inside today, worried about the next time you have to leave - im doing the same thing in Perth, Australia - and WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS with help.

Could you advise your state / country? i will research as much as i can for you and post for your reference.

Please stay strong, and think of today as day one - think forward to that day (i dont know how many days away, and no it wont be easy) when you will be self confident, and know that the only person who is looking at you, is probably the guy checking you out!

I really hope you can smile today :) and im so sorry you are going through this and have had to for so long.
Avatar universal
Oh wow, I have tears in my eyes reading your comment. I can't believe someone so incredibly supportive and caring responded back. Thank you. It feels amazing knowing that someone out there understands me completely. I never felt like this was something I could share with anyone; I just thought I was odd and abnormal.

I completely understand the whole friends thing! My girlfriends ask me out for lunch or coffee and I just dread it so much. I know I'm going to have to think of another creative excuse and frankly, I think they wonder why they even bother inviting me out. Even my sister today mentioned why I don't ever leave the house. It's really difficult explaining this to her, especially since she's a social butterfly and wouldn't understand where I'm coming from. She tells me to just go to Starbucks or something, but I can't. Just the thought of walking in and having all these eyes on me terrifies me.

Regarding the depression you mentioned, I wish I knew more about your story. I'm sorry I don't know how to relate to you in this way, but I went through a really bad period of my life a couple years ago. I faced terrible depression and forgot the point of living. If you'd like to share with me, through here or privately, I would love to listen.

Thank you so much for letting me know that I'm not alone. I don't know your name or face, but you are in my thoughts today. I wish you so much happiness and positivity! :)
Avatar universal
So sorry I havtn been back here since the last post - thnk you so much for your reply.

You realy are not alone, its so hard for people to understand, and I know that sometime even when you finally build up the courage to talk to someone - they say things like "well no ones looking at you, dont be silly"

I know that this is not a personal choice we have made, it is an issue that has come into our lives for whatever reason. We are not "silly", we are not "boring" - we are trying to understand what is happening to us.

Please feel free to email me or privatley message me if you would like to talk more. I am happy to listen and share and, although I may not have the answers to make this go away immediatley - I would love to discuss things we could try to do or at least try to think positivley with each other so we can try to smile at least once every day.

You really are not alone - and I wish we could get a magic wand to take away these feelings, but I guess we just have to stumble through this somehow :)

Hope to hear from you.

I think you are amazing, I already know you are a beautiful person & I wish you did too x
Avatar universal
and about the sister thing - mine is the same! has a huge network of friends - super confident , always busy with girls nights / coffees / gym / going to clubs etc.

I think we actually are exactly the same!! Maybe our sisters stole all our confidence through some weird spell haha!

Avatar universal
Read the book "My Silent Disability" by Yolanda Antonino

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