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agoraphobia

I feel like such a mucked up person. I have had anxiety, panic attacks, GAD and fear of vomiting since late childhood. Recently i have realized i think i have agoraphobia as well- avoid travel with others incase i get sick and cannot escape- and just my luck i get motion sickness easily. As i have got older, i have felt a stronger urge to not stay anywhere long as i need to get home, I am scared something- like a storm or earthquake will stop me from getting back to my house. Travelling away from home overnight is just not something i do and makes me feel pretty ill from anxiety if  i have to- had to visit my father in another city. I have to visit him again as he is very old- the need to fly is hellish and then to have to stay away is very stressful too. But how do you explain all this to anyone- its just pathetic and no-one really seems to understand anxiety. It just seems like i am totally selfish. I guess i am.
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I will not go outside unless there is something that I must do. When I go anywhere and have to stay, I usually sit next to the nearest exit or window. If I stay or go anywhere I have already created a path to get out in a hurry should something happens. In any new place as soon as I arrive I have a plan in my head what steps I need to take, what I need to grab as I'm leaving. I do not go to crowded places that block exits for me either. Call me crazy but I have done this since I have been little it has gotten worse lately. I wasn't aware of the word agoraphobia until a month or so ago. I really didn't think anything was wrong with what I was doing and that it is actually a phobia! I have lived like this for years. Go figure.
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91034 tn?1401419903
I have the same exact fear of throwing up, or getting sick in public places! You are not alone and you are not crazy! It's just a phobia/anxiety and a "irrational" fear we live with. Every time I have to talk in front of people I almost have a panic attack and think I'm going to vomit or **** myself. It's the fear of embarrassment. My therapist says it's from trauma as a child , that we just started working on dealing with. I take pepto and emitrol everytime I'm in these situations. I carry a plastic bag with me and extra pair of pants (which I have never had to use) but it's a comfort to know I have it. YOUR NOT SELFISH!! YOUR NOT ALONE!! Have you spoke with a doc??
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