I like to stay at home. When I go out I am not especially anxious, I just want to do what I have to and go home have had depression for 20 years. Presently on cymbalta 60mg qd. When I get out to see people I do enjoy myself, but when the opportunity arises for me to go out and have fun I refuse.I dont like going to staff meetings or anything that takes me back to the worksetting once I am clocked out. I spend my time gardening, reading ,watching tv, or internet. I want to go out and have fun, and be with my friends, but I cannot convince myself to go.I sometimes feel despair for no reason and have to restrain crying. This feeling lasts for hours and I dont know what to do to break it.This used to be daily but since I adopted 2 cats thats better. I eat healthy, my body is healthy, gardening is my exercise , Icouldnt even go walk down the block anyway.
I know I am so depressed ,I don't want interaction, but I am so lonesome. I have always been a homebody but I used to love all those other things.I feel so messed up in my head, but I do good job at work and get good evals. Is it so abnormal to want to be alone all the time?