You are correct that both of you need help, however you can't wait to see who will make the first move. He is experiencing wd that's why he can't get ;pass 4 days. physical Symptoms of wd are sweating, shakes or tremors ( look at his hands or yours), cold clamy skin, vomiting delusions or hullicinations. Psychological symptoms are irritability and agitation,impatience, depression,anger,Mental is inability to make rational decisions,forgetfulness,inability to maintain focus, spiritually is feelings of hopelessness,helplessness. Please seek help thr A.A. for your kids sake. The reality is that alcohol is a legal drug and no one can use drugs for any significant lenght of time w/o addiction seeping in.
It depends on how much you drink and how long you've been doing it on how severe the withdrawals are. It can be mild, like the less scary symptoms mentioned above, to very severe, even causing seizures and death. I don't mean to scare you, I just want to give you facts. Medical intervention is neccessary to wd from alcohol, so the more serious effects are not reached. there are great medications to help through this. If you want to quit drinking, you have to do it for yourself, because you want to. You can't help anyone else quit drinking unless they want to quit. Especially if you're drinking too. If you want to quit drinking, living with an alcoholic is nearly impossible. Go to an AA meeting just to check it out, you will learn a lot. Have a serious discussion with him about how this is affecting your relationship and your lives along with your children's. This is my expirience as a recovering alcoholic married to a recovering alcoholic. If I were you I'd get some pro advice from a dr or therapist to help yourself along with AA, this will also help you figure out what to do in your marriage. I hope this helps, let me know how you're doing! Good luck to you!