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Alcoholic, Living with an Community
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Avatar universal

Just can't let my guard down

So I'm reading these posts and many situations are similar, but don't quite match mine.  I've been married for 21 years, and my husband and I have been through a lot. We come from some rough places, but have managed to be productive, skilled professionals. We have two children, live I a great place.  My man has been through AA by his own will some  time ago, but never really bought the idea that he could never go back to drinking, never really accepting the title "alcoholic".  I wasn't sure either, as he has never been that bad, though it occurred to me that alcohol accompanied every situation, weekend, mowing the lawn, football game, etc... I got pretty fed up and started counting, then confronting, then joining, then confronting again. I don't drink, never needed to. I'm tired that after several counselors for me, then us, then him we are still in this boat.  I asked an addiction specialist if he is an alcoholic, and he confirmed loudly, "yes!"  He drinks almost every day expensive microbrews, putting away 5-6 on a weekend night, glassy eyed, snoring every night. I've threatened to kick him to the curb and he stopped, admitting that he could control himself better and be mindful, buzzword.  He works, he manages the kids, cleans the house, c
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Avatar universal
Sorry that cut off.  He just won't stop and barely admits a problem citing that he isn't bad, he functions and he likes to drink beer.  He will never stop he says. I should be lucky to have him, lucky he's as good as he is considering his upbringing. I will not go back to Alanon as I really dislike this.  Not that it's challenging, but i don't want to waste another tear on this. I'm working on me, health, wealth, education, and if he gets left behind, so be it. But I have an unbalanced marriage, not enough sex or desire, not enough trust, and he's controlling. But it isn't this way all the time. It's way to go to bed angry, then wake wondering what my problem was. Crazy! When do I call it quits? Wait until the last kid is in high school or off to college?
Avatar universal
i stayed for 25 yrs in what looked to lots of people to be wonderful we lived on a big farm I had a great job 3 kids all the toys, fabulous vacations, lots of friends etc..... And I was miserable. Every night counting the drinks , pleading, crying , yelling all with no luck. Lots of unfilled promises I can tell you none of it worked 13 yrs now single I can only say none of it as been easy.   Going or staying but on my own I am free of counting the drinks, yelling crying .....  He still drinks just the same   I'm free.  I can't say what's the right choice for you  I have made peace with my heart I am friends with him now only want the best for him but I can't put myself there ever again don't know if he will ever get it  Hope you can be strong and find you way
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