Could you fill in some blanks for us? Are you an admitted alcoholic and is that why you became sober for 3 years? Have you had any aftercare as a result of admitting that you were powerless under the influence of alcohol? I'm a little confused, you seem to be saying you quit drinking intentionally, like you knew you had a problem and have had experience with alcoholism, and then ask whether an alcoholic does or says things in a black out they wouldn't do so ordinarily.
I REALLY like the message OpenMind24hours gave You.
I agree with Her description of an "allergy to alcohol" but I would take that a step further and say the reason We are "allergic" to alcohol is because alcohol is a poison to our bodies. EVERYONE who drinks enough to get drunk will have Their body react - Our bodies are sending us a 'message' - "this is not good for my ENTIRE system".....and we don't 'listen', so we drink again and some of us become addicted because alcohol IS an addictive substance. I firmly believe if any(every)one drinks LONG enough they will eventually become addicted to alcohol in the same way people become addicted to other substances (cigarettes, drugs, etc)
Also, When one drinks a bottle of Vodka (liquor) one is drunk and might do (out of control) or say (out of control) any number of things they would NEVER do or say if They were sober....another 'message' that we don't want to 'listen' to.
You love her but should want to learn to love yourself also Tony. You can accomplish that. Aftercare can help you. Our reaction to alcohol is what makes us alcoholics, not how much we drink. The best way to describe it is an allergy to alcohol. When we drink all bets are off. We end up with consequences. Her relationship with you was based on the Tony before the bottle of Vodka. When you become that Tony again, things will change for the better. But the most important thinking in sobriety is to be sober for YOU and you alone. Learn to love yourself. All else will follow.
We're here to help and as I'm sure you know there's help from aftercare always available. Aftercare works when you work it. I wish you the best.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions to an extent. Some people do get violent.
Will you quit drinking again ? It sounds like you will damage your relationship. What's important to you? After 3 years, do you know what triggered the binge on alcohol? Be safe. Pamela