Here in Canada I'd suggest you just go to the hospital, get a script for about a 5 day taper of valium, and then head over to the detox centre to be supervised for at least the first 3 days, if not 5.
I know you don't have public health care in the US, but that kind of service must be available most places?
Suffering doesn't make you stronger. In fact it can lead to permanent brain damage.
Congratulations on your 6 weeks clean. It sounds like you could use an Addictions Therapist to help you stay quit. I did , and so did my husband. 6090 days and counting, one day at a time. It helped me a great deal in early recovery to go to AA. I also was fortunate enough to get to rehab and stick with an Addictions Therapist for the first couple of years. Had to stay away from anyone drinking for quite some time, and still avoid the whole drinking party mentality. No sweat, don t feel im missing out on much, my life is pretty full with all sorts of fun and excitement My son respects me a lot more since not imbibing in self harm as well as family and friends. I have big hopes for you. Keep the faith. You need to make some sober friends. Im here for you whenever you could use a friend,
Liz
The fog may begin to clear when you commit to abstaining from alcohol!