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Cross Addiction, stuck and SCARED

Hello to all, I am in a bad place right now! Iam 29 yr old female  married, who grew up with an alcoholic father in the house hold so I picked up a drinking problem at the age if 14. I actually CT it when I was 23, for 5 1/2 years and in all seriousness I was very happy and healthy, did not have any unnecessary or extra drama in my life, I actually started norcos 1 1/2 ago , I've been taking 2-4 daily in half increments. I had my first drink last Halloween , thought I would be ok and could control it due to 5 1/2 years of sobriety( WRONG!) it started slow, steady and controlled then got bad, I was mixing it with norcos and boy was I SICK in the morning , deathly sick! Now Iam missing so many days of work, Iam not my productive self anymore, I have tried 4 times to detox myself from both, what really has a hold if me is the norcos , because of how mentally dependent they r and I actually admitted to my husband yesterday of my norco use, he knew about the alcohol and did not like or condone it any bit, thank god he was very supportive and wants to help by all means. Iam still takn norcos
and only taking 2 a day, we are going to do a home detox this week and he will supervise me in case I need to go to a hospital or anything. Iam more concerned about staying sober then getting sober bcuz that is the harder part for me.

Would greatly appreciate all input, especially ppl who have been thru the same as I.
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Avatar universal
Hello 17mthssober275
I agree with u about believing we just can never take a addicting substance . Bcuz the 5 1/2 years I was sober I was terrified to take a drink and knew that it was POISON for ME! But b4 I drank again, I started taking norcos and I think being buzzed on them and not being in the right/sober state of mind , I had a drink and thought after that long I would be able to control it(yea right!) and here comes the drama, bcuz at first I was control myself and then I was in full effect after a couple of months. I can tell the pills have damaged my brain, or my nervous system bcuz , I always get a scared, anxious, guilty , ashamed, and just feel like a failure and my emotions are all over the place. The first time I quit cold turkey , I put my mind to it and I did not even think twice about a drink but I don't feel at all as mentally strong this time. But Iam 10 sober from alcohol and 6 days clean from norcos , taking it 1 day at a time , my hubby has been very supportive , it's his bday today and we will be going out tonight and spending some happy time together ;)
Helpful - 0
5039239 tn?1364024671
Hi, good wishes to you. No, we are never cured alcoholics or drug addicts. That is what we have to live with, never in our lives being able to use ever again. There is no other choice for all of us. I have 2 years clean and sober on sept. 22. Never will I ever use again. You will be able to succeed, just never believe you are going to be cured again. Well wishes, be healthy.
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3060903 tn?1398565123
Also, I have terrible RLS at night from bad back, and I got a long handled massager with the two big black balls on the head of it. It's very powerful, and it gives my husband a break from deep tissue massage, at times. It's grey and about 18 to 20 inches long.....Well worth the price, I got mine at  Sears i think.
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
Thank you so much Ibizan, that means a lot coming from you. Congrats DT on your second day of detox !!! You're really doing this , and that's WONDERFULL ~ I used a syrum that I got frrom a chinese herbalist called Woodlock for aching muscles. It smells pretty medicinal, but it's incredible for aching muscles, Nothing better out there I don't think. It just gets in so deep into your muscles. Thankfully you have a masseuse on staff. lol CoQ10 and magnesum work great for anxiety. Maybe that's something that you can check out too. You're doing great DT ~ Keep up the good work !!!
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Avatar universal
YOU are doing WONDERFUL! It sounds like you have the determination and you totally CAN do this! Not going to be easy but you have the strength to overcome anything thrown your way! YOU are in my thoughts and prayers and your NOT ALONE!! We are here to encourage and support you through this! ONE CHOICE AT A TIME my friend! You've got this!
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
this too shall pass......just hang in there one hour at a time...one day at a time.i'm 29 years sober/clean.....at 5 years my sister smirked and said to me "I'd never thought u'd make it this far"!!!fooled her eh:)????there is so much joy in proving the naysayers wrong!keep w/us here...u've gotten some great support which is here from ppl w/good recovery!thank u Nighthawk and many others-u know who u r!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanx NH61
Iam very grateful for my hubby, he is very attentive, supportive and caring, Iam going on my 2nd day on detox , it's not as bad as b4, or so far, in pretty much having really bad body aches and hot/cold flashes , headache and anxiety, but I will be ok, im more focused on stayn sober.
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
I'm so proud of you DT. I sure have detoxed at home from narcotics, and I did a lot of crying. So, if it happens that way for you, don't worry, you're not going crazy, you're not going to break....you'll be okay. You're just saying good bye to what you thought was an old friend. Be kind to yourself, and thank God that you've got a caring , considerate partner to help you through it all.  You'll be in my thoughts, and my prayers. It will all be worth the effort very shortly.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No Iam not doing a medical detox for norcos, I haven't been drink for a few days now, but Iam not a daily drinker, I drank once a week and binge drank for a couple days. Iam going to CT off of norcos tomorrow, I do not want to medically detox, bcuz I do not want to replace a pill with another pill, that I will have to eventually detox off of too. I just need to stop. I will be going to AA meetings after my detox and have a sponsor, and get aftercare.
Helpful - 0
5347058 tn?1381188426
Hi there! So, you are doing a medical detox? I think that is certainly the safest way to go. I am so glad to hear that you are not only ready to quit, but you are planning for your recovery and after care. Please just have faith in yourself. You can do this!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I totally agree, I want to get sober and stay sober and have a life instead of just giving it away! I will do aftercare , went to my first AA meeting today , plan to go up to my detox and def plan on doing so after detox .
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Double

Staying sober is the thing that kicks everyone. Some do it. Others continue to relapse.
I continued to relapse until I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to get high.
You have to plan your detox carefully, but more importantly you have to have a plan in place for after you are clean in order to stay clean. AA/NA, Therapist, etc.
You have to have some accountability in place so that your actions are in check.  You have to want to be sober and to stay sober more than anything else or you won't succeed. You must really keep that guard up at all times.

Good luck, you can do this.



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