Date rape dilemma ...

[independent.zinn]

My girlfriend told me she was recently drugged at a wine bar and made a unclear fuzzy desicion to drive home and allow the man that was coming on to her to come back to hear apt. She says she has a very fuzzy memory of doing this and just bits and parts of driving home and telling him where to park, where to meet her, and saying goodbye to her mother and going back to her apt while her son was sleeping. She only recalls small parts of the night, un able to move or resist by that time she was home... Naked in bed with him... She doesn't recall if there was intercourse, she remember going into her sons room to ask for help but she was smiling , happy... and she said he left soon after that... She  woke up feeling very sick , hangover like, and recalls only having two glasses of white wine the night before. She believes she was drugged... she threw up twice and noticed something blue in the toilet... What do I do now? She was raped. Date drug raped. What is the best way I can support her? 

[Nighthawk61]

Independent , I am so sorry to hear of your girlfriends abuse and rape and even moreso that it involved a minor child being involved.  I take it the mother was there so she maybe got a look at this guy. I don't know if that set of facts can do anything. I suppose you could have the apartment dusted for prints that were not your own, your girlfriend's , your girlfriends mother or child? It's something to go on, he may be a convict. You could take your girlfriend to the bar for a meeting with the bartender on duty, certainly they would try to be of help. The person that your girlfriend left with could well be a "regular" and if he picks up girls in that bar often , the bartender may well recognize him. You've said that your girlfriend knows about being naked, but, is she sure that rape occurred. Maybe she passed out, maybe she started yelling and it wasn't safe to continue. If she has no proof of rape, i would still treat it like a rape and check out for fingerprints, and talk to the bartender. However, depending on the outcome, i would then try to get your girlfriend to believe that she yelled out and scared him off, or passed out and he may have left. I am so sorry with what she is going through, and yourself as well. That being said, God Bless you for looking after her. What would she do without you? God Bless to all of you. Hope this helped.

[samari10]

It is a fine line between normally handling a couple of glasses of wine to blacking out on 3 glasses. Maybe she's drinking too much and it's starting to affect her tolerance? You should go back to that bar and ask if the bartender remembers how much she was drinking and whether he noticed anything about that night, maybe he recalls who is was who left with her, did she go drinking alone? Strange about the blue in the toilet though, i wouldn't assume she was raped though, not a memory that you want, especially without proof...