I don't like to hear that you want to give up drinking but cannot seem to find the right support and treatment. It must be really difficult for you living on your own and having few friends, I can really empathise with your situation. I live in the UK and don't know how treatment centres work where you live. I do know as I'm sure you do too that stopping drinking without medical supervision is very dangerous and I'm quite supprised your doctor has not helped you more!
When I stopped drinking I attended a community drugs and alcohol centre which I was assigned a personal counsellor who i see every week and was given a 6 day Librium detox to counteract the dangerous withdrawal symptoms, it was not easy and the hardest thing of all is staying sober but at least i was given that opportunity which I am extremely grateful for!
I'm trying to rack my brains as to what possible advice I can give you? I have attended AA meetings, however i prefer what is called SMART recovery, which was actually founded in the USA. It is more focused on the teaching of self management and recovery training (which is what it stands for). It does happen in a group setting where we all talk and listen to each other and bounce ideas around that may be helpful.
This is my experience but what about you, I can always listen! I'm sorry I cant give you any real practicle advice and really hope you find the help you need soon :-)
U r a prime xample of really wanting help.....and seeking it out...and u found it.......if u want recovery u will find away to make it happen for urself!This was my credo......i put as much energy in2 my recovery as i did seeking alcohol.....drugs......and going in2 bars drinking purchasing alcohol etc......i refocused NEGATIVE energy into POSITIVE energy!
Thanks so much for your feedback. My grandmother was born and raised in England, and I love all things English. I want to visit there but don't want to go alone. What would I do the minute I got off the plane? :-) I will check out SMART...I live in a tiny coastal community on the South Oregon Coast, and we don't have many support groups, although there is a Weightwatchers group. We do have women's AA. I will check in the town 30 miles north (not that far unless you drive at night both ways). I am going to try very hard to work towards more positive thoughts in my daily life, try to put behind me those things that have drawn me into my negative thinking, realize that I do not have to keep as friends (or even relatives) people who bully me (I seem to be a magnet for that), and I have been trying to do more activities outside my little home. I DO have people in town who seem to care about me, and I have attended a Unity Church service (a type of liberal church although I was raised Episcopalian) where there are are really nice folks. Basically, I have to make myself get up, clean up, dress nicely which I used to do for work, and get out of the house regularly to somewhere. I am trying to not watch too much negative tv--we have a lousy election campaign going on now. I bought several DVD's of the Royals lives--BBC's Kate/William's wedding which I watched yesterday, a couple of books on the royal jewelry of Europe (wow), and I do go to jewelry-making classes. So those are baby steps to get me back into the "population" and each positive event sure helps. Thanks for your comments. I really appreciate it.
I don't particularly like the "best answer" checkoff. Both were very helpful, not sure how I ended up checking one! I absolutely agree that putting more energy into recovery is better than seeking that which makes me miserable. I consider myself a strong person in most ways, and I do believe I can find the control I need to stop drinking. When my niece was married a number of years ago, I quit drinking two months' before (just to see if I could do it and I wasn't drinking that much then but I was seeing the problems coming down the road), so I did quit with the plan that if it was successful, I was probably OK and at her wedding I had a couple of drinks (big fancy wedding in Park City, Utah resort). I still didn't understand the progressiveness of alcoholism, and my family tree was flashing warning signs I still didn't heed. It is amazing how a few kind words can really make a better day for someone.
I love your name, it sounds to me that you actually know how to help yourself you just need a few friends to share with that can totally understand your language if that makes sense. It is late in England and I have had a busy day and need some sleep but will post some more tomorrow evening. You would not like our weather here at the moment, it is cold, very wet and windy :-( hope your weather is nicer :-)
Well, your posts have been encouraging. Thanks so much. I recently ordered through Amazon a group of DVD's about the royals and have been watching them the past couple of days. I especially love the old reel film footage of the lives of the Queen's family, not just the weddings but through the wars, it is so cool to see old film of Queen Victoria in her carriage. I love all things British. Interestingly, two of my ancestors who moved to US from England and France fell in love (about 1800) and those two countries were at war. I will keep checking this website, I had a bad day yesterday--elderly friend taken to her daughters' home in LA basically to die and they are making it very difficult for me to have contact with her. I have known her since I was 13 and the girls weren't in school yet. Some people can be so cruel. I do not handle this kind of stress well at all. And this type of thing is why I am more comfortable as a "loner," haven't always been this way. I think there are many older women who are alone and I think many of them drink and others don't know it. We are sort of lost in the shuffle of life. Yep, we can count our friends on the fingers of one hand, but I do have a number of internet friends (and occasionally talk with them) who can be very very helpful.