Hello I am alcoholic and a gastric bypass postop

[Manyprisms]

(Warning, LONG)
Quick bio...I am a 49 year old female, two grown identical twin boys, and grandmother to 3 girls, one due in Aug. of 2016.  I had RNY gastric bypass 10 years ago (will be in july) and became an alcoholic after about my 3rd year post-op.  My highest weight was 445 pounds, now I am 145-ish and have maintained.  I have done tons of research on alcoholism after gastric bypass and found it is incredibly high.  I NEVER drank before gastric bypass, as my mother was an alcoholic and swore I'd never become one. I suspect it is "transfer addiction" from being unable to eat large quantities of food, however now I am learning that it could very well be a change in the brain from some of the research I've done.
I have been in rehab, outpatient, AA, you name it, and can go through periods of sobriety, but it never "sticks".  I can drink a bottle of wine a day, sometimes more. After many years of this, I've built up a tolerance, and find it takes more and more.  As a EMT, I am quite aware of what it can do to my gastric system,organs, and body. Yet, I continue to self destruct.  I go to the ER and get on Librium to W/D at home, as I was literally inpatient every month last year, and find it easier to just withdraw at home.  I could teach the things to other's I've learned inpatient at this point.
I suppose this is more of a "can anyone relate" situation more so than a question.  I feel so very alone.  
My last drink was 4/16/2016 and I hope and pray it is my last.
Thank you for reading if you made it through.

[Nighthawk61]

Congratulations on your sobriety. It is this first days and weeks that are the hardest. I'm an alcoholic and i managed to get to where you are in '99. Now you have to get where i am friend. I think the most important thing i can tell you is that if you hold on to your sobriety, there will come a day that you don't miss it. That you wonder how that could have been you addicted to drinking every day. Hold on and celebrate every day you stay clean. I can sure relate to cross addiction, I find that it still helps me to get into doing hobbies, When i was first getting clean and sober, i crocheted blankest for the whole family, and then turned around an did it again. Now i'm downloading video feed of learning how to knit sweaters and socks on Craftsy.com .There are many different hobbies you can into there that are pretty reasonably priced. If you're not doing it already, make it a plan to read some of the greatest works of literature, learn to draw and move ahead with that into painting. If you put all of your attention to doing some hobbies, and make a plan to go hiking, and getting as much exercise as you can, you'll be able to stay away from what will kill you. That's been my saving grace anyways. I hope it can work for you.