Help for wife who might be alcoholic

[daledo8855]

my wife who i truly love has been drinking for a few years now. started when she was 19 now she is 24. when she gets drunk it is a very destructive drunk. last night she fell while drunk and busted her chin and maybe broke a leg. i dont know what to do. she says that she doesnt need to drink but wants to. plus has a sparks(energydrink with alcohol in it) almost on a daily bases. is there anyone out there who is married to an alcoholic who can help me with confronting her or just plain help with support please get back to me... im am scared.

[Phtartist]

Yea, my husband is alcoholic, so am I. He was a controlled drinker so it was less obvious that he had a problem.  I on the other hand was an out and out drunk.  When I stopped drinking he continued.

The best advice on this thread is what Jikan said.  Go to AlaNon.  You can find them in the phone book.  Go in person in your area.  Meet others in your predicament.  You will become strong and in turn be able to be there for her when she hits bottom.  This has to happen for her to get sober, with the way she is fighting doing so.

A violent alcoholic has usually a close genetic link to a Mom for female and a Father for males.  The sporatic behavior may be partly influenced by the beverage she is adding to the booze.  These energy drinks magnify the effects of alcohol.  She's  resourceful.

[FriaryGrad]

You might want to visit the website for a rehab facility near you; most have a checklist that will help you decide where on the alcohol continuum she might be. If she isn't an alcoholic now, it sounds like she is headed that way, but she may be able to avoid "tripping the switch" in her brain, if she gets her drinking under control now. You are very unique in that you aren't in denial yourself; use your strength to help her, until she can help herself.  If she won't help herself, then you must help yourself.  She may take the lead from you.  Best of luck and I will pray for both of you....

[working dog]

i wonder if she comes from a drinking familly...that would make it tougher to deal with and maybe you would keep that in mind while talking with her...talk with her not to her your in this together....and have your talks before any drinking goes on...look also for outside help...i wish someone had tried to help me but we were older and had so much going on it wasn't happening in my familly....i didn't have any idea what an alcoholic was..after i stopped drinking i found out though...real bad withdrawals....but that was too late and now i often think of all the things said and done that i regret...all the good times missed while drinking...i had a good relationship with my kids even while drinking just missed out on stuff cause when drink time came that was that...good luck.....billy

[ibizan]

Jikan has put out some excellent advice here.....if she does not think she has a problem and doesn't want help then u should seek it 4 urself.Find a good licensed substance abuse counselor and check out some Al-Anon.

[Jikan]

Namaste,

You didn't indicate how much your wife really consumes other than that she drinks one(1) Sparks per day which has a 6% alcoholic content by volume. That's not very much to consume on a daily basis.

You go on, however, to say that when she gets drunk she is very destructive. I don't know if her injuries were sustained from falling down or getting in a fight or something else.

Everyone who drinks handle the alcohol differently, especially when they have consumed too much. You have the happy drunks and the angry drunks.

I don't know how often your wife gets drunk, but it appears part of the problem may be her ability to control herself under the influence.

If she is binge drinking every weekend, getting drunk, fighting, throwing things and generally being angry with the world, I'd say she has a problem.

If, on the other hand she ocassionally gets drunk, that would be another matter.

If her drinking concerns you, speak with her rationally, when she is sober and explain your concerns to her and ask that she limit her intake, since she already told you she doesn't have to drink but wants to. If she refuses to or argues with you and tells you she doesn't have a problem, she is probably in a state called "denial".

The question is, why does she want to? Is there an underlying causative factor to her drinking. Is she stressed, bored, or suffer from any one of psychological disorders which sometimes cause people to drink as a form of self medication. They're just trying to feel "normal".

If she refuses to limit her drinking, gets drunk repeatly, and/or her drinking has consequences(i.e. a broken leg), she probably has a problem with alcohol and she will not stop drinking until something serious happens or she realizes that it is not in her best interest.

You cannot control her and her drinking. That is up to her. If she continues to drink to excess and it is a serious concern of yours', try going to an AlAnon meeting.

For over 50 years, Al-Anon has been offering hope and help to families and friends of alcoholics. It is estimated that each alcoholic affects the lives of at least four other people... alcoholism is truly a family disease. No matter what relationship you have with an alcoholic, whether they are still drinking or not, all who have been affected by someone else’s drinking can find solutions that lead to serenity in the Al-Anon fellowship.

I wish you the best of luck and hope for a successful outcome to this issue.

Michael(Jikan)