Husband in Alcohol Rehab and do not know where

[Robinlynn1206]

I have been with my husband for 7 years, married for 4. We have went to several near death with his over drinking and several rehabs. He is not abusive to me..sweetest man you will ever meet. until he drinks..then i watch him stumble, fall, pee on himself, and pass out. This last time I left the house on Thanksgiving day due to his drunkeness and saying bad things to me..I ended up in the emergency room and hospital for 4 days with bleeding inside due to high blood pressure and stress..When I was in the hospital he had went on one of his destroying the house episodes, doing horrible things, throwing away my medicine, pictures, taking the mattress outside, before he left he cut the water hose and electirical hoses on the dryer and washing machine and flooded the house..He stayed in a hotel for 2 weeks and I told him he had to get help..just couldn't do this anymore. He called and said bye and I found out from his parents that he is in a rehab but he cant write or call..they want tell me where..I filed for divorce and it will be final in Feb..He will have no idea of the divorce..I miss him so much and I know that sounds bad, but we always had fun and did things until the drinking got heavy again. Im paying a lawyer and now I really feel guilty...His mom says let it go..but don't get a divorce..he can't work on a marriage until he works on himself..my thing is ..i need to talk to him before the divorce is final..just to see how he is doing..I am so confused..I do love him so much and miss him..Do I call off the Divorce and wait for him, do i go through with it and maybe down the road we can get back together..i just don't know what to do..

[dominosarah]

You mentioned that you are a nurturer in one of your posts.  Instead of taking care of everyone else take care of you for once.  You are important.  

[ibizan]

so what do u think of the meetings?

[Robinlynn1206]

yes i have been to a couple of alanon meetings and I am receiving alot of counseling at church..so yes I am working on my healing also.  

[ibizan]

How r u doing w/the Al-Anon meetings u've gone to thus far?

[dominosarah]

Are you going to any type of recovery care yourself?  Your husband is working on himself now and you have to do the same.  Addiction affects the whole family and you as the wife have taken the brunt of his addiction.  Both of you have to get healthy, not just him.

[Robinlynn1206]

This is a rent house and we had just had a flood from the hot water heater flooding. Everything that his flood did was the same and when the insurance adjuster came to look at it all the water was gone and carpet dry..So really everything went under the insurance..but, now the landlords are needing money to help out their mother in law..so they want to sell the house. I have till end of Feb to move out..After being here 7 years..But it is for the best..Need a change of scenery...