I just can't stop!!!!

Question

I hate this. But I am a 38 year old weekend binge drinker of hard Scotch. I want to quit so bad. I have tried AA. I am in a outpatient treatment program. I started when I moved to the midwest and did no know a soul. I traveled all week and did not drink. I lost my dream job in May due to a mass layoff. When I worked I still did the same weekend thing but not nearly as bad as this past 8 months. What a waste. I was recently sober for 3 weeks and worked out every day; and felt great. I thought I had kicked it. I just can't find the root of this evil other then that I have no real friends anymore. Everyone got married , had kids and moved on with their lives. I think my loneliness is  a major factor and I am becoming more and more isolated. A recluse. I don't even want to leave my apartment.I can't live like this anymore. I don't want to die.

ibizan · Answer

thats why u need to be in the hospital when u detox from the big K..so if have a seizure they can  assist w/the proper medical care!

Maxx1973 · Answer

Thanks for your encouragement. I really am looking forward to getting sober and moving on with my life. Can't cry over spilled Milk and need to look forward to all I need to do to get sober and STAY sober.


Still the short time of detoxing off Klonopin Scares me with all the stuff I read on the internet about tapering so you don;t have a seizure. I know many things you need to take with a grain of salkt. But I read so much about the seizures if not tapering over a longer time. Anyone have an idea? is it safe to detox in a hospital in a short amount of time from Klonopin? Thanks and much love.

ibizan · Answer

Back in 1983 i did a stupid thing....detoxed myself in my own apartment for 8 days b4 going to inpatient.Had quite a alcohol habit and Valium...which was/is a foremother of Klonipin.it was most UNPLEASANT..and UNWISE of me to do this on my own...but me being me i did it!Don't try this on ur own......do not do this pls!Go do this under medical guidance in the detox unit.I can TOTALLY relate to this post...been there...done 2 much of this that and the other......28 years now sober/clean...one hour atta time.....one day atta time!keep us posted pls!

Maxx1973 · Answer

Thanks guys for all the feedback.

I just can't take it anymore.So sick of all this. Being sick after a binge, all red and with DT's for a few days. But I know I would/will do it again.

I am checking into a Detox and then inpatient rehab this weekend or ASAP.

I am just scared of detox as I am on Klonopin for like 6 years at 5Mg a day. (for anxiety)

I was told not to believe all the people who say it takes months to taper Klonopin down. The person told me it is total BS and that in a 2-3 week detox; I can come off the pills first and foremost before going to rehab. Is this true? I heard the withdrawals from Benzo's is horrible.

Detox from Alcohol I am not so worried about as I stop for like 3 weeks...then loose it and binge. Rehab I am kinda looking forward to as I need to keep my a$$ in gear and stop this every few week massive binge.

God bless all.

phsycodog · Answer

I'm a 41 year old full blown alcoholic. I am on my 82nd day of sobriety and I still have a hard time believing I've come this far. I'd suggest trying detox; I know it sounds scary, I was mortified, but it turned out to be a piece of cake.

I too lost my dream job, but, although I didn't think so at the time, alcohol was a big part of the reason why.

My biggest hurdle was that I didn't want to quit. I was perfectly content to sit at home alone and get drunk out of my gourd by myself everyday.

Detox was easy. Staying sober has had it's ups & downs (see Sobriety is Scary forum). If you truly want to stop, you are one step ahead of where I started.

Good Luck!

beardflames · Answer

i am a bit of a weekend warrior myself. i usually drink 1xper week, but when i do drink i drink to an unhealthy excess, sometimes to the point of serious vomiting. sometimes during the week i will have a beer or 2 but not every week. i have often talked to my wife about stopping drinking completely but feel as if i would have zero social life if it did that. i dont have any friends that dont drink. i cant just ditch all of my friends. i wouldnt feel the need to totally stop if i could control myself on the nights that i do drink.

Punkinhead75 · Answer

Sorry to hear about the job loss and the troubles you are having.  How much time did you spend with AA?  Why did you stop?  When my drinking brought me to a place where I couldn't stand being, I became willing to do what was necessary to get and stay sober.  I didn't ask for it.  The willingness just sort of happened.  I hope you become blessed with a way that works.  You have already been given some great suggestions.  Good Luck!!!!

justsaynotodrugs · Answer

You can stop if you really want to but your going to need help the first thing you need to do is a detox this unit of people will help you to get you ready for a treatment center for alcoholics. If you really want to quit then go I went more than 1 time but I learned how to stay sober one day at a time and I have managed to stay sober this year was 20 yrs. So if you want your life back then go and stick with it. Get off the pitty pot and take your life back. Hang in there. Let go let God.

rnangel · Answer

Addiction is a lifelong condition. We are always vulnerable to relapse. Social isolation is a major factor for many people. I'm so happy that you found the forum and have a genuine desire to stop drinking. It sounds like you know how to live a healthy life and are needing the support to keep you there. I'm sorry to hear about your job. So often we identify with our roles, and when they change we are at a loss for who we really are. 

Please reconnect with AA. You will meet a ton of people who share your desire and motivation to live better. The support is invaluable and LIFESAVING. You need regular support like this to stay sober. If you work the program YOU WILL SUCCEED. Meetings will also help you conquer isolation. Real friends are there. Even if we had 100 friends..if we are unable to talk openly with them about our struggles the conversation is superficial anyway. We can't maintain friendships at this level..well not emotionally satisfying ones anyway.

The root of the evil is simple. The reward system in your brain tells you need to have scotch in order to feel good. That's the ugly face of addiction. We can be sitting in the gutter, emaciated and cold and we would choose alcohol over food and shelter. 

Alcohol is a depressant so to experience mild to severe depression is a given. What have you been taking for your depression? and can you get into a rehab? Im not sure how much alcohol you have been taking lately but abrupt cessation can cause severe withdrawl symptoms that range from tremors, seizures, hallucinations and cardiovascular collapse. It is important to discuss all your concerns with a doctor. Only he can determine if detoxing under medical supervision is appropriate for you.

The first step is to find a AA meeting asap and get a sponsor. Your sponsor will be someone who has the knowledge and experience to guide you in the right direction. There is alot of support on this forum too so keep posting and let us know how you are doing :o) Hang in there and take care.