how can I help an alcoholic?

[cheesebabe]

Can anyone help me? My husband is 34 years old. He is an alcoholic. I don't know how to save him. He has been this way since he was 19. I love him so much..we have 5 children. I have been to Al-anon, and it didn't help me much..I find it very hard to turn my back on him...I cry...I am so scared to lose this amazing man...he is when he is sober..amazing. But add alcohol...he's not abusive..just cocky..condesending...not himself...How can I save this man? I will take any advice..please! Thank you all...

[cleverneutron]

If you have given up to advice you husband to stop drinking you can visit drug rehabilitation. There you will be given the exactly way to realize your husband. For more information you can see in http://www.****.***

[ibizan]

After years of alcohol abuse and all that goes with it is is natural to be worn out....a person can only take so much.u must do what u feel u must for urself and ur children....no other human being is responsible for my recovery but me.....and my behavior towards others is also my responsibility!I have been sober/clean for 24 years now....dayjob is substance abuse counselor....and i shake my head at the abuse and BS I see many family members accept from their addicted one.....they do not have to tolerate this!Ur hub needs to stand on his own 2 feet and take responsibility for his problem his behavior an d his role as  a father!

[lady1bug]

My husband is an alcoholic and has admitted it.  After many years of alcohol abuse and everythign else that goes with it, I have decided to just leave.  It is difficult cause we have three children and when sober he is great but those moments are few and far in between.  I have done meetings, couseling, patience, you name it, and now he realizes he has a problem and is losing it all.  he wants to sober up and I feel as though he should do it on his own, if he really wants to be sober.  I am full of anger, hopelessness, and many other cofusing feelings.  I want to be there for him but feel he needs to go on this journey alone and do this for his health and not because I am nagging and pointing out the obvious.  Not sure if this is the path to take, am I doing more harm than good??  Just confused!

[cheesebabe]

Thanks so much. I have been to Al-anon, and it was great, but it didn't help me as much as I thought it would. I may not have been as receptive to it as maybe I should have been? Not sure. I am doing the very best that I can with him. I know that I can't change him..he has to want to do it himself. But, I won't give up..never...he is way too good of a man. Thanks again.Take care

[boogieman]

hello. unfortunately, alcoholism is not treatable in the conventional sense, and many of us lose jobs, families, possessions, health, respect, etc., before we decide to seek help. some only find sobriety at the "gates of insanity or death." an individual must want to get sober if there is to be any chance of recovering, and it varies as to how much we are willing to suffer, and subject those around us to the destructive nature of all addictions, as to when (if ever) a person will decide to change. just as the alcoholic becomes very ill,  so do those around them, and for the well-being of your family, the help of al-anon and professional therapists can be crucial. there is a lot of strength to be found in the experiences of others who have faced the same trials and found answers that can apply to all. it may be uncertain what it will take, but once someone is ready, there is a solution. take care and don't give up.  gm

[brianna102]

I know Its really very critical condition for you..You should try to keep happy to your husband and try to show your love for him... , may be it will work.

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brianna

[url=http://0d7d21846cb2cc756d835c54e77b7081.com]a45fe6c6ae6c5306e1a5803f7f66dc3a[/url]

[jjaz]

Alanon is a great group, but sometimes you need to try several different meetings to find the meeting that works best for you. There is also another group called Celebrate Recovery, a Christian based 12 step program. CR has meetings on Friday evenings for both addicts and their loved ones. You can check online for a meeting near you.

Which ever one that you choose, I would recommend going through the 12 steps yourself. It is very enlightening, and can help you fix yourself. Not to mention, give you a great support system to help you when you need it.

I have been going to CR for about 3 months now, and I can honestly say that they have helped keep me sane. I always look forward to seeing my friends on Friday evenings.

Good luck and I will be praying for you,

jjaz

[susieq87]

What worked for me was going to Alanon, the best thing ever.  

[cheesebabe]

thank you both very much. We have had countless conversations on this issue. I want to help him, is there any way to "push" him towards realizing he has a problem? He has already been through so much with his drinking...I really don't know what else it would take. Thank you again.,

[ibizan]

kberrier gave u great advice!i'm going on being sober and clean 25 years.i took responsibility for my addiction and became committed to dealing with it.No one could save me but me!there is a saying and i think its true....alcoholics and addicts don't choose their illness but they do choose whether or not they want to recover!

[kberrier]

Honestly I think he has to want to help himself.  Have you confronted him with this?  My father has been an alcoholic since I can remember.  I actually don't remember my dad ever not drinking.  My mother just got tired of it after 20 years of marriage and left him.   She wished that she had done it earlier because of all the wasted time she spent taking care of him and his bottle.  It is a hard to live with an alcoholic.  You can want him to quit with all your heart, but he is the only one that can make that decision.  You should have a heart to heart with him and decide how much of this you are willing to endure.  Having five kids to take care of along with an alcoholic must be very hard for you.  Ask yourself how much you are willing to deal with.  You don't want to be a co-dependant for the rest of your marriage do you?  Maybe you need more than Al-anon, like some counseling.  You have to be selfish sometimes and take care of you too.  Best of luck to you!  I'm here if you need to vent or talk!
Kristi