Interventions

[MlovesD]

Has anyone had any experience with them? Know if they work?

My boyfriend's mom doesn't know anything about them, but she wants to confront him with her husband and daughter. I explained to her that it's a little like an intervention. I know it may not be a good time unless I plan on being there, because mainly all of her information is coming from me and I don't want it to backfire on us and push him away further. He and I aren't on good terms right now, because, despite the fact that he ADMITS he has a problem (last Tuesday was the last time) and at times has stated he wants to quit, he's at the place right now that he's going to do what he wants to do, which is drink! He's mad at me, partly because I suspect he's being forced to choose between me and the alcohol. I don't want to have an intervention be attempted at the wrong time when he may be angry about it and shut us all out, and then we have no leverage. He loves me dearly, and I'm hoping that with a little bit of time and space and lots of opportunity to think on his part, that he'll call and try to make up. I'm hoping, anyway, that it's not too late for us. I really think that with him wanting this relationship to work out, we might have some leverage to confront him with his problem.

I know you can hire an interventionist, and I've heard it to be done, but I've never actually heard of it being done by anyone...third party or not. So I'm looking for any experienced opinions and thoughts on that matter.

[ibizan]

the high point of my week is my Adult Recovery Group which consists of 9-17 ppl...all who admit they have a problem have lost control and want to make changes.they r a joy to work with.But it never ceases to amaze me the numbers of older adults who try to force their 20-40 some year old kids in2 treatment,dragging them to appointments,watchdogging them worrying about them-they expend more energy thatn the alcoholic does who just keeps drinking!Even sadder r the parents who grown kids take advantage of them with their drug addictions...allowing them to live at home rent free,giving them $$$ which goes to drugs,grown kid doesn't work and promises to look for a job.....crazy!Eleanor Roosevelt said No one takes advantage of u without ur consent!No one held my hadn in sobriety dear...i wanted it,i worked for it,it was my responsibility!I hope ur guy wakes up but until he does ur wasting a lot of energy trying 2 make him get sober and life is short!there could be someone else out there for u who will appreciate u and act mature and take responsibility in their adult life!

[ibizan]

u can get mad at me for saying this but i think it is so sad that u hang on2 this man who clearly doesn't want to stop drinking and has shown extremely mentally and verbally abusive behavior to u for some time.It is sad that u think he loves u when he doesn't even love himself and abuses himself with alcohol.I remember ur posts from quite a ways back.I've been sober/clean for 24 years and dayjob is addictions counselor.Hiring an interventionist is expensive and there is NO GUARANTEE that it will work.....the person has got to want to STOP and recognize a problem!Interventions are a roll of the dice....who knows when they will work?We've done some in my agency and out of ten done i think maybe one stayed in treatment a short time......to please the wife and get her off his back..then returned to drinking again.U really need to go to Al-Anon and seek counseling for co-dependent behavior.