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Just Please Help me, a pathetic alcoholic Mum
Dear Freind,
I have tried so many tmes to stop drinking. I have a million reasons to stop and half a million to keep on. For me, the withdrawl symptoms are so bad that i drink every day. Even tho every day I swear to God above that I won't drink. I get the severe sweats, the shakes and the anxiety.
Even with all that, every day I swear to myself and God himself that I will only have one to ease the withdrawl. But that never happens. One leads to two and two leads to four. Eventually I'm passing out on my bed around 3 am. waking up at 7:30 with my kids, G-13, B-9, to get them off to school, then sleeping the day away until they, and my hubby come home. I know this is not normal or right. I curse myself every day for my weakness. And I hte myself for not having the will power to say "No!!! Not today, I WILL nit drink today!" I have Systemic Lupus, Degenerative Disc Disease and a long list of rediculous pain oriented ailments that are a very hard strain on my 38 yr old body. I take numerous pain pills and anti-inflammatories, none of which I am addicted to. But WHY for the love of God, WHY cant I stop this stupid obsession/love affair with alcohol??????I will wecome anyone's help and advice. I am so desperate adn nearing the end of my rope. I dont know how to go on b'cuz I want to stop drinking so badly. Pleeeeeeease pray for me. -Heidi
I have tried so many tmes to stop drinking. I have a million reasons to stop and half a million to keep on. For me, the withdrawl symptoms are so bad that i drink every day. Even tho every day I swear to God above that I won't drink. I get the severe sweats, the shakes and the anxiety.
Even with all that, every day I swear to myself and God himself that I will only have one to ease the withdrawl. But that never happens. One leads to two and two leads to four. Eventually I'm passing out on my bed around 3 am. waking up at 7:30 with my kids, G-13, B-9, to get them off to school, then sleeping the day away until they, and my hubby come home. I know this is not normal or right. I curse myself every day for my weakness. And I hte myself for not having the will power to say "No!!! Not today, I WILL nit drink today!" I have Systemic Lupus, Degenerative Disc Disease and a long list of rediculous pain oriented ailments that are a very hard strain on my 38 yr old body. I take numerous pain pills and anti-inflammatories, none of which I am addicted to. But WHY for the love of God, WHY cant I stop this stupid obsession/love affair with alcohol??????I will wecome anyone's help and advice. I am so desperate adn nearing the end of my rope. I dont know how to go on b'cuz I want to stop drinking so badly. Pleeeeeeease pray for me. -Heidi
Goodmorning Heidi,
Today should be your 27 day sober. It has been a while since I have heard from you so i'm wondering how are you doing? I know quitting drinking isn't easy so I am hoping your silence isn't an indication that you've given up. I hope to hear from you my friend. Take care.
Randy
Today should be your 27 day sober. It has been a while since I have heard from you so i'm wondering how are you doing? I know quitting drinking isn't easy so I am hoping your silence isn't an indication that you've given up. I hope to hear from you my friend. Take care.
Randy
Heidi,
I was born in '72 also but doesn't it seem unfair that you just turned 39 and I turn 40 in January? I don't like that! ha ha Anyways I am nt sure if you ever saw my email but I want to make sure that I am very proud of you for maintaining your sobriety! It's very impressive the things you have came up with to do to better yourself and stay more focused. If you keep this up you just might make that poster-girl spot after all! Anyways keep up the good work taking care of you. I bet you children are so happy to see you this way! Okay byeee
Randy
I was born in '72 also but doesn't it seem unfair that you just turned 39 and I turn 40 in January? I don't like that! ha ha Anyways I am nt sure if you ever saw my email but I want to make sure that I am very proud of you for maintaining your sobriety! It's very impressive the things you have came up with to do to better yourself and stay more focused. If you keep this up you just might make that poster-girl spot after all! Anyways keep up the good work taking care of you. I bet you children are so happy to see you this way! Okay byeee
Randy
Congratulations! You are awesome for doing this. I've been reading your thread from the beginning and I'm so happy you've hung in there! GREAT JOB!!!
Nicole
(Also a mom and sober since December 2007)
Nicole
(Also a mom and sober since December 2007)
COMMUNITY LEADER
way cool!sobriety is about enjoying these moments!bet ur sons dug it 2:)
Hi Friends!! I made it thru my birthday yesterday without drinking and even more impressive is I made it thru my 9 year old son's slumberparty without a drink! Me home alone on my birthday with five 9 year old boys! Talk about a new type of hell on earth. LOL... but i made it thru the night and they were up at 6am and i survived it, now 10 days sober and feeling great. Thanks to everyone for your support.
COMMUNITY LEADER
there goes that alcoholic male ego again......u need more work on that!:)
There you go being a pooh-vert again! ha ha And you tried to blame me last time! Thats alright, I blame everyone else too! Oh you say maybe I'll get lucky huh, more like she'll get lucky! I am the Rpoo!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ach u young cub u!u go celebrate ur youth and miraculous longevity....ain't nuthin but numbers boy!heck this old gal turned 56 8-1!maybe u'll get lucky w/ur wife donning a faux bearskin Wilma Flintsone ensemble complete w/a large spear and hunting u round the house!U say that b-day is tonite:)?????
I've been try to convince my wife that my bithday is cancelled next year since I'll be 40! Do poohbears live to be that old ibizzy? ha ha I hear hunting season is coming up soon!
COMMUNITY LEADER
oh i love it!celebrate sobriety rather than ur age!:) u go girl!:))))))
Thats just how I roll! ha ha Well my self esteem just sky rocketed too. Reading how well your doing and how much you have changed your life in only a week! Your a smart young lady and you have a lot going for you now. You got this easily! Stick with it Heidi!
Randy
Randy
A big HUGE congrats on 1 week sober!! That is so fantastic!!! Keep it going~~sara
One Week sober! Im am so proud of myself and I have never felt better! My house is cleaner my skin is clearer and my self esteem has skyrocketed. I cant thank you all enough. Especially Randy, ibizan and rod44 who gave me my first arse kickin reality check. I literally owe you all my life. I cant even imagine ever touching another drink ever again. On Labor Day we went to a friends house for dinner and while they each had just a few beers I proudly drank my water with lemon and just enjoyed being with friends SOBER, can u imagine? i didnt drink and nobody else got drunk, what a big change! have I been the ringleader all along making everyone else drink just to keep up with me? Who knew?
Well no more my friends, I want to be the poster-girl for sobriety. I want to be the example to all my friends and family and show that we can have fun and be silly and socialize without booze. my birthday is coming up on Friday and I am celebrating my sobriety instead of my age. I mean who is happy about getting older anyway?? Take care everyone!
Well no more my friends, I want to be the poster-girl for sobriety. I want to be the example to all my friends and family and show that we can have fun and be silly and socialize without booze. my birthday is coming up on Friday and I am celebrating my sobriety instead of my age. I mean who is happy about getting older anyway?? Take care everyone!
Looks like my ticker finally caught up with me. 6 days sober and feeling great!
COMMUNITY LEADER
hey lady...this is good news....and shows ur perserverance determination and a garnering of ur inner strength to do what is right for u and ur children!wow...how difficult that ur hub is doing his liquid thing....but u cannot change that....change what u can which is YOURSELF!
Hey all quick question. I know it sounds silly, but I need to fix my tracker. I have actually been sober for 5 days , not 4. is there anyway to go back and change it. I know it sounds silly, but every single day counts right?
Heidi!
There you are! ha ha I was just wondering about you. I am so glad to hear all the new information. You really are doing terrific! You are also very right, some of us just have to do it our way. I'm glad your family is being really supportive also. I hope in time your husband will also offer his support. He should be very proud of you!
Finding other thing to do with your time surely will help a lot. Also educating yourself and learning way to keep a strong will are both perfect. I like your idea about getting with your doctor to get rid of every pill you can.
The withdrawals should be getting easier to handle at this point and I imagine you are probably already feeling much more self confidence. Give yourself a patt on the back, You can do this! God bless you and your family Heidi! Stay focussed and stay strong. Take good care of you, who else is gonna.
Randy
Randy
There you are! ha ha I was just wondering about you. I am so glad to hear all the new information. You really are doing terrific! You are also very right, some of us just have to do it our way. I'm glad your family is being really supportive also. I hope in time your husband will also offer his support. He should be very proud of you!
Finding other thing to do with your time surely will help a lot. Also educating yourself and learning way to keep a strong will are both perfect. I like your idea about getting with your doctor to get rid of every pill you can.
The withdrawals should be getting easier to handle at this point and I imagine you are probably already feeling much more self confidence. Give yourself a patt on the back, You can do this! God bless you and your family Heidi! Stay focussed and stay strong. Take good care of you, who else is gonna.
Randy
Randy
Thanks to RANDY, and everyone else for all of your kind honest words and support. I have been sober for 5 days and feeling really good. I have told my entire family (Husband, kids and Mum & Dad) so that they all know what I'm doing and what I am going thru. They have been supportive but my husband says that i can do whatever the hell I want but he is never going to quit drinking all together.. Whatever... I have been studying eastern medecine and yoga and learning to breathe, stretch, and meditate to ground myself and keepall the negative energy away from me. I have lessened some of my medications and am considering my pain management options. I do not take an excessive amount of meds but I still want to work with my doctor to formulate a plan to get off all meds eventually. I dont believe that I have to join a formal support group, and go to meetings in order to succeed.
I know that it works for many people and is a wonderful option but I sincerley beleive that there are many roads to sobriety anf know one but ME can know whats right for me. I have filled my Kindle this week with dozens of books ( I have already read 6 of them) to support my decision to stay sober. One really good beeo is "Sober for Good- New Solutions for Drinking Problems- Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded" By Dr. Anne M. Fletcher.
Its been very enlightening, and encouraging. This is my new journey to change not only my drinking but many of the negative and destructive things in my life, and I appreciate all of the support that I am getting here! Much love to all!!! -Heidi
I know that it works for many people and is a wonderful option but I sincerley beleive that there are many roads to sobriety anf know one but ME can know whats right for me. I have filled my Kindle this week with dozens of books ( I have already read 6 of them) to support my decision to stay sober. One really good beeo is "Sober for Good- New Solutions for Drinking Problems- Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded" By Dr. Anne M. Fletcher.
Its been very enlightening, and encouraging. This is my new journey to change not only my drinking but many of the negative and destructive things in my life, and I appreciate all of the support that I am getting here! Much love to all!!! -Heidi
Alcoholism is not a weakness it is a disease. It can be treated and recovery is then possible. You need help you can not do this a lone. Get in touch with someone that is involved in AA tell them you need to go to a treatment center and they will help you. They will find you a treatment center to get in I no Ive been to treatment myself and meet some good people who are going through the same things that alcohols go through. 28 day program will help take it one day at a time and let go let AA help. mike You can do it I did.
I am so happy for you! You have made a good step. Please reach out to us or your doctor if you need support or things become overwhelming. You seem like a wonderful person. Don't let that be shadowed by anything.
Hi Heidi,
The weekend usually brings a lot of people together for drinks. So I thought I should write and see how your doing over there?
Omusicgame,
I think you meant to address your post to sittingpretty9972. You are exactly right about getting on with the good things life has to bring. If your sitting there drunk waiting for them to come to you it's probably not going to happen. Your 30 years old man, how much longer are you gonna wait?
Can you imagine that in 8 more years being diagnosed with end stage cirrhosis? I was only 38. Kinda makes ya wonder if you drink as much as I did huh? None the less though thanks for your support.
Randy
The weekend usually brings a lot of people together for drinks. So I thought I should write and see how your doing over there?
Omusicgame,
I think you meant to address your post to sittingpretty9972. You are exactly right about getting on with the good things life has to bring. If your sitting there drunk waiting for them to come to you it's probably not going to happen. Your 30 years old man, how much longer are you gonna wait?
Can you imagine that in 8 more years being diagnosed with end stage cirrhosis? I was only 38. Kinda makes ya wonder if you drink as much as I did huh? None the less though thanks for your support.
Randy
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I feel real concerned for you and your kids. I certainly understand addiction since I was an alcohlic for 20 years. I notice your 38, when I was 38 the craziest thing happened! After all those years of drinking on 03-23-10 I was diagnosed with end stage cirrhosis! Well that sure gave my a** the motivation I needed to quit! If your kids aren't motivation enough then what else do you need? Cirrhosis?
Heidi it's time for you to get this taken care of. My friends in the above posts have told you what to do. Do it and you won't regret it! Don't do it and well who knows.. Your not just doing this for yourself ya know. Your kids need you too! It's not fair to them their Mom is an alcoholic. Think about how that impacts their lives and as they grow older what they are going to have to say about it.
Make the first step, you'll feel so good about yourself that it might actually make this whole thing easier and less comlicated. I wish the very best for you and your kids.
Randy