I hear ya. I had the opposite. My Mom, admittedly, had the best intentions, but was a crappy Mom. She had a lousy teacher, submissive Mom, abusive Dad. My brother and I got the school of hard knocks raising.
We've worked it out and we are close now. The program and having Fibromyalgia has taught me not to be a doormat and stand up for myself. I finally (to capsulize it) told my Mom that I learned a great thing from how she raised me.......How not to raise my children. It was a wake-up call for her and opened dialogue. I asked that she put down her guard and let me get to know the woman she is so we could be friends. It's good now, after a few tongue lashing and hugs.
Boy, You and I should dress up and go paint the town. They would see us coming !!! You got a bit of wild woman in ya, huh!! awesome.
I feel like you do about weddings, so does my husband. My daughter is ......well........having her dream wedding.......while we are standing back waiting for it to be done with!
She is having a 9 piece band, cocktail hour, fancy smancy, top of the line formal occasion. The best part is for all the **** her Dad put me through in her life and the fact he shirked child support..........she threw him the bill for it :-p I am so thrilled..
I know, not very serene of me. Is "Paybacks a B---ch" a program saying. I don't think so. It is odd that I can be friends with his wife, and feel I have forgiven and let go of all the **** for my sake. I can see him and not feel anything but when my mind goes to what he did and walked away into a perfectly lovely life, I want to mascerate his face.
Can we ever really process and rid ourselves of deep negative feelings? I think all the added stress I have had plus the illness I live with and the pain I have daily, weakens my constitution, which allows our defenses that we've built to weaken.
That is why we work a program, why we have the steps. Why we make a list of people we have to make amends to or at least forgive and know our place in the violation.
I need to remember my place in the whole deformation of the marriage. Thats the answer.
Thanks for letting me spout, Thanks for reading and having me feel heard.
i LOVE doc martens..have a lot of em!u wanna borrow my purple crushed velvet hi-top stompers to go with ur dress?i have orange ones and tie dyed blue red green and orange ones 2 look stunning with that crepe!:)!My niece is getting married in Manhattan in the fall.i'm not going.....i refuse to fly our unfriendly skies with their crappy *** service and costs....and i'm not much of a wedding person.i get very bored with all the pomp/cicumstance..ok i've been nice heres my gift can we just eat and me go home now?i wish her the best!The cost of this wedding is just obscene...i don't even want to type it here....and i'm so glad i'm not going..told my sis i'm saving her $$$$ on the plate food costs!i am like u ph with what i would wear....i have been to family weddings and had family pee moan and complain with what i had on......not formal enuf for them...i also don't do hose and high heels.....who give a good ratsbutt patoot?aren'cha all glad i;'m here?my heart goes out to ya dear!Well hon act like Stevie Nicks!she kicked her alcohol and klonipin habit!!!and yes our mothers lose their youth as do we.....but so sad to see the dementia like things.....but we care for them like they cared for us....my mom was such a good mom...her parents were horrible ppl and she was raised by her granma......but so good to all 6 of us..i was fortunate..i know others r not that haven't had good parenting.
You girls are something to look forward to every day.
Ibizan, Every time I read what you write, it moves me. Your words are often so wise and calming
Bandida,
It is like me to go bare foot but gotta protect the toes from lousy dancer.....so my choice would be doc martins, hahaha, that would rock her boat!!!
If I was going as myself..........dreaming............I would be wearing a natural light colored hemp two piece layered dress with my blonde hair all wild and free with flowers in my hair, just a little make-up to smooth the look of my weathered skin and blush to make it a bit more youthful. A bit of tinted lip gloss and off to have a relaxed happy day.
Instead I'm squeezing into a 590.00 crepe organza, corset strapless gown that they have to add staps to so my boobs won't lay on my belly. I am glad a jacket is part of the ensemble so I don't have to be too concerned about my upper body and its flaws. I love the jacket. It has a roll collar with long sleves a slit that flair, Stevie Nicks like. I have nice legs so its nice that the dress has a slit also with soft ruffles.
Tonya, I feel for you, but this is not the Mom you knew. Iziban's words are words to hang onto.
My mom is sharp still and says things to me that I hold onto and when I bring them up the next day, she forgets she has said them. My point is, what we take to heart is not always as dire to the other person.
What's with the nurse? I don't get why she has anything to say. She is hired help, isn't she? If she is a professional, she should know this sort of thing occurs.
Any hooooo, Where's Bandida, we need a song !
first and foremeost ur mom is angry at the aging process and the demise of her mind and body.it will come out on u until she stabilizes and comes to terms with her mortality and loss of functioning.about a year in2 her stay at the home...my mom was overheard to say to a lady who was ranting about her kids putting her in prison and the staff allegedly stealing her belongings"Francis the reason why our kids put us here is because we're not ourselves anymore and they want 2 keep us safe."What progress but it took a year for that to occur.All we have control over in life is our own behavior...our own choices....measly but true!
I like the barefoot one the best! ha ha Good to hear your voice and visit with you.
My Momma is now mad at me. Nurse said she was gonna fly out to oregon and whip my arse. I almost want to cry, but know it isn't her. Sad though.
ah, we'll see what tomorrow brings. My brother is calling now to see if she is mad at him. she told my Uncle last night that I was mad at her. Dang, hard to keep it all straight, isn't it? OH DEAR LORD be with us all. He is in control, cause i sure am not.
All i can control is me and not drinking any booze. Tonya
Ok I have a great Idea for your shoe dilemna GO BAREFOOT!!!! Or better yet wear FLIP-FLOPS!!!!! That'll get her!! YOU'LL B the RAGE!!!!!!