Alcoholism Community
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Avatar universal

Some advice please.

I know my habit is not as bad as some people on here but i would like some help please.
I suppose ive been drinking mostly every day for the last 6 years but not what i consider too heavy. It was half a bottle of wine, maybe a bit more but for the last 6 months its been a bottle most nights, well every night i suppose.
Ive suffered from anxiety and depression for a long long time and alcohol has been my numbing device. I know alcohol is making it all so much worse but at the time it doesnt feel like that.
I am trying to cut down, im trying to get back to just 2 glasses a day just to take the edge off and help me relax but im finding that my anxiety is getting higher and i get the shakes until ive had that glass.
Is this possible that it is to do with cutting back on the wine that is making me feel bad or could it be that my anxiety is just high at the moment. I dont know if the wine is doing me good or not.X
24 Responses
1475202 tn?1536274577
A bottle of wine is a lot for some people. Sure some drink more and some drink less but youre drinking everyday. Youre in an alcoholics forum. Have you given any thought to quitting drinking? 6 years of drinking nearly every day is a lot for your body to deal with. I believe what you are experiencing is withdrawals from the alcohol, that is why the shakes and anxiety stop when you drink the wine.

If you decide not to quit right now try and make a rule to only allow yourself 2 glasses regardless. As you give it more time the anxiety will gradually get less and less. You should also make a visit to your doctor for blood work to ensure your liver is doing fine. If your going to drink excessive then be sure to atleast visit your doctor annually for a comlete physical if you don't already. I hope you decide to give quitting a try and I wish the best for you. Take care.

1284022 tn?1291362149
I didn't realize how much and how often I drank until I looked back at myself in sobriety. I always wanted to control my drinking, but I enjoyed it more when I didn't think about controlling it. This led to me drinking more and more. I'm not ashamed that I have a problem with alcohol, I accept it and learn to deal with it. I understand that I have to work very hard to get past my denial. I learned a lot about what it means to be an alcoholic from going to AA meetings. I consider the day I got sober the first day of my life because I feel like the constant rain has transitioned into rain, shine, snow, and everything inbetween.

People told me I showed signs of alcoholism on this website, and this helped me because I was too shy and ashamed to talk to anyone about it. I new the opinions here were unbiased because people didn't know who I was.

To be honest, it sounds like you've developed a bad habit that is keeping you from living a full life. I would do some research into alcoholism, and see if you relate in any ways. Alcoholic or not, good luck breaking your habit!
Avatar universal
Thanks for you reply,I think I wrote this because i can see my habit is starting to becoming that of an alcoholic.
I know im doing wrong because i hide my drink so people dont  know im drinking everyday and im finding it hard to not drink during the day.
I am trying to just have the 2 glasses Randy but you know what its like when the rest of the bottle is sitting there.
I have thought about quitting but i do enjoy a drink but i wish i hadnt got to the stage where its all or nothing. I wish i could get relaxation from something other than booze.
I am developing a bad habit Surfin, Im going to have a nose around on here at other peoples stories, maybe that will give me the kick up the a**e I need.
Thanks for understanding and not and not giving me a leture.X
Avatar universal
U've received some very good advice here from 2 of our best posters!None of us ever intended to let our drinking/drug use get out of hand....i liked the calm it gave my still overactive mind.But there is something lacking in me that i discovered at age 14...the OFF switch...i never had it...and always tried to find it in 14 more years of drinking/drug use.I was a miserable failure at controlled use...and the day came at age 28 when i was physically ill from my combos and the good feeling was gone...no matter how hard i tried to run it down..long gone.By all means nose around here in our comments....u r not alone......and all of us with sobriety have been where ur at.Keep posting and asking us questions!:)
Avatar universal
Thanks ibizan......I am scared to get where some of you have been, its an easy path to take to block things out.
At the moment i just dont want to be drinking everyday but i still want to drink, i feel the need to have it there, just incase.
Not today though, ive got none in and im not going to buy any.
I just wish that things that made me feel better were'nt so bad for me.X

1475202 tn?1536274577
You know Bren I still want to drink too and I sure understand what you mean once you have some and the rest of the bottle is there..haha It's as good as gone. You see that's part of what makes us alcoholics.

Let me tell you about myself  a bit, I'll try to give you the short short version. In my past I've done the very similar things you are doing now except I really took it to the extreme. I've been an alcoholic for 20+ years. For last couple years I was drinking ever day from morning to night. Spending $600 a month on my drinking habbit. If I was awake, I was drinking. When I was 38 on 03-23-10 I was diagnosed with end stage cirrhosis. I know about the shakes and anxiety from withdrawal. I know about how the progression works. I let it come very close to taking my life and yet it still might. Since then I have stopped drinking and do whatever is necessary to deal with the cirrhosis and not let this get the best of me.

I think you can already tell that alcoholism just gets harder and harder to control. So how far will you let it take you? There is terrific medication available to help you deal with anxiety and depression. You don't need this drink! It's up to you to help yourself though, but in the meantime I'll be hoping the best for you.

Avatar universal
I did read your story Randy, i hope it works out good for you.
I dont have much luck with these anxiety and depression drugs,ive been on many but they dont seem to help me.

What i really want to be able to do is to get back to just being a social drinker, i expect a lot of you are thinking that thats  not possible and maybe you are right. I want to see if i can make this happen though, if not then i will have to try quitting altogether before it gets out of control.

I have a wonderful 22 year old son and i dont want him to suffer because of my habit so i have to think hard about what im doing.

1475202 tn?1536274577
Things have worked out good for me. Had I never got cirrhosis I would never had quit. Now I can truely see how good my life is and it's sad I almost missed it. My health is doing just fine there are a lot of people out there that feel worse than I do and don't even know anything is wrong. Funny how having cirrhosis and sobriety can make me feel healthier than when I was as a drunk without it.

I am one of those people that would say it's not going to be possible to maintain that kind of control over your drinking but atleast you are aware you have a problem and you are ready to do something more about it. Always keep your health in mind and go for an annual physical. There are always early warning signs of liver deteriation and irritation with proper medical testing. a fatty liver will be your first clue. The change from a fatty liver to fibrotic to cirrhotic can happen very quickly. Less than a year depending on circumstances but that risk is yours to deal with.
1432897 tn?1322963137
When I stopped drinking I was given a few suggestions.  I followed them.  They invloved some simple yet sometimes difficult actions which have helped me become better able to deal with life on life's terms.  I have dealt with depression and some mild anxiety in the past.  I used to drink it away just like you.  The only thing was that I wasn't actually dealing with it.  I was covering it up.  I've learned to face these thing head on.  Often needing help from others including professionals.  I haven't had to drink or drug in over five years and I have a greater peace within me than I have ever had.  Sure life can be stressful and difficult at times.   I'm just letting you know that the relaxed feeling I get today is far greater than what a drink could provide.  Take care!!!
1886897 tn?1328331136
I'm certainly not one to profess having worldly advise to offer, I'm only on Day 81 of sobriety, but atleast I can give you a perspective from someone who's new to this.

I sincerely hope you are able to get to a point that you can  have a few and that's enough. I sincerely do! I hold that hope for me some day as well; to be able to sit on a beach with a bucket of Corona or a couple of glasses of wine at a holiday dinner. For me, realistically, is never going to happen. but I will continue to hope. I realistically will probably never win the lottery, but that won't keep me from buying ticket and dreaming about what I would do with the money.

My advise is, try it; try detox. Mine only took a couple of days and I was drinking way more than you (way more than most people could). A 1.75 litre bottle of rum wouldn't last me two days.

What do you have to lose by trying it? If it doesn't work you are no worse than you are now, is it does, you are on the road to recovery.

Your health problems will only get worse, trust me, I know. My biggest regret is that I didn't do this 20 years ago.

1475202 tn?1536274577
Congradulations Jim! 81 days is terrific. You should be very proud.

Avatar universal
Thanks for the replys guys.
I have stuck to just the one large glass for the last two days. I think i needed a wake up call from you lot, i was seeing where my drinking was leading and that scared me.
I still need to know that drink is there though, when i need it so i dont want to give it up completly.
I was worrying that i was needing to drink more to get any affect from it.
I am hoping i cant stick with this.....Thanks again.X
1475202 tn?1536274577
Thats crap! A big congradulations to you too! Since i have cirrhosis now and the guarentee my life will be shortened I'm very touchy about everything I do every minute of my day. The way that the ammonia in my body (due to the condition of my liver) effects my brain it takes me a long time to write a post. with that said I feel I have put as much energy into your problem as you have. I hope that someday you will find a lot more strength and effort if you ever need it! Good luck, problem solved! Ha

Avatar universal
I thought i was doing quite well....Im working hard to limit my drink, Im sorry if it doesnt seem like it to you.
I put every ounce of energy ive got into trying to get through each day. I started to use too much drink to make it easier but now ive realised that i cant do that.
So in my eyes I think im doing Ok, well the best I can at the moment anyway.
Avatar universal
Coming to accept ones alcoholism is like the last part in the Wizard of Oz....Dorothy says to Glenda U knew that i knew how to get back to Kansas the whole time....why didn't u tell me so?Glenda giggled waved her wand and said Cuz u never woulda believed me!U had to find out for urself!!!!I had too....u had too....all the others here w/sobriety had too.....and bren will have to too!
1886897 tn?1328331136
I'm certainly not judging anyone; I had everything going for me and did a fine job screwing that up.

I would again suggest trying detox. You will be amazed at the strenth you really have once you are truly sober. I'm on day 83 of sobriety. I'm 41, other than being hospitalized, the last time I was sober even for a day I was no older than 16.

If you are able to limit it, you're a far stronger person than I. If I had a drop, that's it, game over, see ya, I'm finished, bye bye, done, bueno, history, talk to ya, bill me, check please. And I'm sure I'm not the only one here that feels this way.

And don't be sorry what other people think (especially Randy, he's harmless), it only matters what you think (and in my case, sometimes even that doesn't matter).

We're all rooting for you. Remember, we've all been through this (some more recently than others).

Avatar universal
oh that is funny but true!Randy is harmless......but so well intentioned.....there'd be a lot more ppl in recovery if it wasn't the human way....to hafta learn the hard way!We love our Poohbear here!
Avatar universal
Wow. I'm a 44 married mom of 2. Never drank alcohol until 8 yeas ago ...that's when I found my love of red wine.  I never drink during the day but I have to say I know when 5 pm rolls around...I work from home and I've lost over 150 pounds using diet and exercise. I work out at home and also with a personal trainer 5 x a week...I eat clean but the Wine is killing me. Literally I'm sure. Although I do as much working out such as cross fit etc I'm packing on the pounds again. I'm up to a bottle and a half of red Zin or cab at night. If it's not in the house I'm fine...my only worry now is will I be ok just stopping cold turkey or should I cut back to say 1-2 4 oz glasses for a few days ? Week ? I honestly don't want this to linger on any longer so not sure which way to go ....I want this weight to fall off again and want to be wine free. Suggestions ???
Avatar universal
Just know that drinking more than a glass or two of any alcoholic drink...wine, beer, or booze....more often than a once or twice a month...is not normal. It is harmful to our bodies, souls, and loved ones. It makes us do regrettable things.

So be honest with yourself. Drinking more than several times a year...yes, a year.....is not normal drinking behavior. Please realize that you have to stop drinking all-together! I fought this reality for 20 years...and it almost killed me.  

Good luck...nope, luck won't cut it....God bless and protect you!
1475202 tn?1536274577
First off welcome to MedHelp! Congratulations on your weight loss, awesome demonstration of will power. I have no doubts you will be able to succeed with your sobriety.

I must first warn you that withdrawals from alcohol can be very dangerous. Side effects may include:

Mild to moderate physical symptoms:
•Headache - general, pulsating
•Sweating, especially the palms of the hands or the face
•Nausea and Vomiting
•Loss of appetite
•Insomnia, sleeping difficulty
•Rapid heart rate (palpitations)
•Eyes, pupils different size (enlarged, dilated pupils)
•Skin, clammy
•Abnormal movements
• Tremor of the hands
•Involuntary, abnormal movements of the eyelids

Severe symptoms:
•A state of confusion and hallucinations (visual) -- known as delirium tremens
•"Black outs" -- when the person forgets what happened during the drinking episode

I borrowed this list from a website but I will also include that I have read that in rare cases coma is possible.

Many people will recommend you seek advice from a professional. I was diagnosed with cirrhosis and gave it no thought, I had to quit right away. cold turkey worked for me. I spent $600 a month on my beer habit. I didn't share very often either.. ha ha Look where that got me right. So this is entirely up to you.

My personal opinion is that you would be just fine to taper back. There is really no big hurry so take a week or even two and plan it out. Set a  goal date that you will be done by and do what is necessary. No exceptions each night! Start drinking later and later in the day if you like to use it to help you sleep. Plan it out on paper if you need so you know how much you are allowing yourself each night.

This is how I did it and my withdrawals were minimal. 23 beers a day to 0 in less than a week. This was me and everyone is different. It is not a race or competition, the only goal we all have is the same. To maintain our sobriety! You will begin to see things much clearer and your self-confidence will increase even more.

You have been drinking for a while and also with the weight you once were I would strongly recommend blood work to test the condition of your liver. You can schedule an annual physical which will include the testing you need. If you have any more problems with your weight then talk with your personal trainer to maybe help increase your exercise to what may be more appropriate for you.

I hope you will let me know your progress. Take care!

Avatar universal
I'm an alcoholic, but right now I am in what I call "the not drinking mode." Some people think that if it's so easy for me to just stop, then I'm not an alcoholic; it's just not true. I miss drinking, and the holidays are a time that I love to use as an excuse. For some reason though, I just don't feel like it. Can anyone relate to this? I am pretty surprised.
Avatar universal
Hey there,

I think we all (those of us that love the juice!) go through this. It makes us feel good...and at the same time slowly kills us...mind, body, and soul. I have some other unhealthy bad habits like smoking, eating too many sweets at the wrong time, etc, etc. These are unhealthy...but they don't affect my mind and slowly deteriorate my soul. As an alcoholic, I liken booze to cyanide if I take it. And I can't forget that. And I pray alot. I don't know how God works or operates....and I have many questions and doubts. But I have faith nonetheless and pray hard when I feel the urge to drink. And it works!
Merry Christmas!
Avatar universal
neckgirl-how long w/no drink?good girl!Sean-cool comment...i can relate!
5156441 tn?1365387411
Hi, I have been reading around on this site, and I found a lot of things that are true of me right now. I am very worried about it, I am only 23, recently graduated with a Bachelor's in Psychology and a 4.0 (which was very easy for me at the time), and have a fifteen month old son who means the world to me. I cannot tell you exactly when my drinking started to get out of hand - all I can say for sure is that I didn't drink at all while pregnant, drank socially before becoming pregnant, and I remember that I definitely didn't drink for the first month or two after my son was born because I was breastfeeding him, which I had to stop when I first returned to finish up school. This was about 13 1/2 months ago. I don't remember when I started drinking every day, but I do remember my fiancee pointing out it out and teasing that I was an alcoholic. I then remember stopping and buying beer before school or on breaks and sneaking it in and pounding down 6 in the bathroom before class. I also remember that I instead bought the beer and pounded down as many as I could right down the street from my house (about two minutes) so I could make it home without hurting anybody and be able to feel its effects while at home without being given a hard time about it. Then I got sick of trying to drink that much beer that fast, and it wasn't working anymore. I did drink over the summer because we had a lot of cookouts, but I do not think that I drank every day (to the best of my memory), and I certainly didn't get drunk EVERY day (although I passed out drunk within about 30 minutes of starting drinking at my birthday party in August). My next memory involving my drinking came when I started at grad school in September. I would buy vodka on the way to school every night I had class (3 nights per week), pour it into small soda bottles, and drink it in small shifts in the bathroom (the classes were 4 hours long). I would only keep a buzz during class so no one would know and i could still function, but a couple times I overdid it a little bit and said I had taken cough medicine for a cold or something. I would drink heavily around the corner from my house (but vodka this time) and would become drunk shortly after arriving home. I took great care to avoid being caught and decided to convince my fiancee that my drunken actions were the result of not enough sleep and a mysterious medical condition that I saw several specialists for so he would believe me. (I told none of the doctors about my drinking.) I now buy a 1.75 liter bottle of vodka every 2-3 days and sneak it into restroom bathrooms to pour it into smaller bottles on the way home from school. I make sure the coast is clear and quickly hide them when I come home. I usually never drink until the very end of the day, once I have done everything I need to do (homework, baby in bed, etc.), but I sometimes start drinking while still doing homework and become unable to finish. My usual routine is to get everything done besides things that will total about 15 minutes to do, slam down 1/2-3/4 of a Powerade bottle (which are 32 ounce bottles) straight, eat or drink something to get rid of the smell, finish my few things left to do, and try to make it to bed. Sometimes I pass out on the couch or in another room with no memory of how I got there, and, I am extremely ashamed to admit it, but I drink myself into a semi-comatose state several times a week, during which time I usually wet the bed. My fiancee again thinks this is due to a medical problem. I want to stop. I am no longer thin and pretty, I am officially obese and bloated looking. School is so difficult for me now and I am always very confused, nervous, jittery, and saying strange things. I feel stupid. I feel like  the most selfish piece of crap because I have a son who needs me and I am ruining my health. I had my whole life ahead of me, and I can't seem to admit out loud to ANYone, even doctors, that I have a problem. It's so weird because I never want to drink during the day, but I absolutely cannot fall asleep without excessive amounts of liquor. I don't know how or why it started, or how to stop it. Does anyone have any advice or a similar situation??
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