Struggling to stop

[coise105]

Hi guys,
I'm a 28 year old female, homeowner, good job and getting married next month, but despite all that, I drink until I pass out pretty much every night. My parents have always been social drinkers, my fiancé drinks very little, except for the odd boys night out. I can easily get through a bottle of wine, fall asleep and then be up for work at 6am with no hangover symptoms. I have gained a lot of weight due to drinking, have frequently embarrassed myself by falling over, and an spending far too much money on booze.
So why can't I stop? Every morning I tell myself today will be different but if never is. On my days off, I even have a drink in the morning. I am reluctant to go to a doctor as I feel I should be able to do this on
my own, but clearly I can't. I need to stop, but have run out of ideas.
Tried:
Weight loss motivation
Replacing with nice soft drinks
Miniature bottles of wine

Every time I just end up back at the bloody shop buying more!

Also, I have no intention of trying to find God ;)

Thank you for reading this
X

[mj0519]

Have you tried to cut down and stay away from alcohol for a day or two? Get something that distracts you from drinking, like going to the cinema or work out in the gym instead of opening the bottle.

[Nighthawk61]

You feel it is your time to quit. I had a problem talking about God when i first quit. I was told in rehab to use "God " as Good Orderly Direction,  I and it helped me to jump that divide. That's the beauty of giving AA a chance. you're able to benefit from the collective wisdom of the group.

If i were you (and I am)  I would at the least look into AA online, and if it helps to give you any relief,get to a closed meeting and listen to others. See if it's a good fit for you. I quit drinking in 1999, and have had no real issues. Any thought of using in the first year, i used the collective wisdom of the group and my "sponsor" and managed the cravings I sure don't miss the drinking. I found that I used alcohol to sleep, and there are healthier ways to go to sleep. Of course, you always have to beware of abusing prescription drugs, but there are options that have little to no side effects, and you can ask your doctor about that. Saying that you have a drink before bed is not going to expose your problem, how many millions of people do that instead of taking sleeping medication?

Bottom line, it will take a bit of work, but it's worth it. To you and your husband. Give it a real shot and you'll wind over this addiction. I'm living proof. as are so many others.

Please let me know if you want to talk about this by giving me a private message.

Nighthawk.

[ibizan]

NJgirl and TTink have given you many good words of wisdom here!I can't add to it except to agree with them 250%!You'd be wise to heed it before something worse happens to you as a result of your drinking!

[NJgirl79]

Why dont you give it a shot and talk to your soon to be husband. Im sure he knows you drink but just not to the extent of you being an alcoholic. If he loves you, then he'll stand by you during your therapy and support groups etc. You can do this! If you need ideas on how to approach your finance or family, dont be shy, ask and ill toss you some suggestions. Hope this helps. Goodbluck to you!!! :)

[TTinKKerBBell]

Does Your Fiance know that You "drink until You pass out pretty much every night"??  If He's walking into this with His eyes wide open, if He knows that You drink like this, well that's one thing - BUT if He doesn't know, in my opinion, You have no right to impose this on Him!!  You should give Him the choice of whether He wants to be married to an alcoholic.

That being said.

You describe YourSelf as  'functioning' but, indeed, You ARE an alcoholic.  You are ADDICTED to alcohol.  Alcohol IS interfering with Your life as evidenced by:  You "drink until You pass out", You have "gained a lot of weight", You "frequently embarrass YourSelf",  You "spend far too much money on booze", You will often "even have a drink in the morning", You've tried to "quit on Your own, but "clearly You can't"

These are Your words, not mine - how much more information do You need.  It's clear-cut that You need help - therapy?, a support group?, AA.?

There is no shame in being alcoholic.  Alcohol is an addictive substance and anyone who drinks often enough or enough quantity will eventually become addicted.  Alcohol is a drug, like cigarettes, meth, heroin.  in my opinion, "shame" would lie in KNOWING that You are an alcoholic and doing NOTHING about it.

and, You don't have to "find God" - all You have to do is make the CHOICE (it really is a choice) to remain sober and seek whatever 'means' You feel will give You the desire, the support and the strength to make it happen.  Bottom line:  You have to CHOOSE to recover.

Regards and GoodLuck
Tink