Aa
Think my dads pretty close to killing himself.
I'm going to attempt to describe this situation as well as I can, it's complicated and I'm bound to leave out many important details but here it goes.
My dad has been an alcoholic for 12+ years. He's 54 years old and he's overweight.
About 8 years ago he had open heart surgery (6 way bypass). Sometime after that he became depressed and started having panic/anxiety attacks, which I understand is fairly common after a major surgery. He wound up being put on and taken off off several medications for depression, bi-polar disorder and seizures. He was given Xanax (among other drugs) by a Psychiatrist about two years ago which he became addicted to. He stopped taking the Xanax about a year ago and had (or claimed) withdrawals for a year afterward which caused even more severe anxiety.
While on all of these drugs he was drinking heavily.
About four years ago he retired and has since done practically nothing but sit in his basement, drink beer, smoke cigarettes and watch t.v.
Over the past year or two he has gotten worse. He gets much more drunk or appears much more drunk from far less alcohol than it would have taken four year ago.
He started falling randomly and convulsing even when he's not drunk. He was tested and had whatever scans would be standard when something like that happens and they found nothing wrong.
He has lost control of his bowels several times that I know of and many others I don't, once walking to the store to buy more beer a block away from out house. The neighbor complained.
He wakes in the middle of the night and sits in his kitchen and eats huge quantities of food and he isn't aware he had done it the next day.
Sometimes he will not remember things he did hours ago and once a week he will talk about something that never happened.
In the past three weeks my mom realized he has stolen all of her jewelry (Including her first wedding ring from him and his wedding ring) and pawned it to buy beer. He stole my kid sisters change jar, he pawned many of his tools, etc. This was completely beyond what I ever thought he was capable of doing.
In the morning when he hasn't had anything to drink he is usually fairly lucid and if you try to discuss how he feels, or what he has done he skirts around it or stays silent and it's incredibly frustrating and sad.
He has been to rehab three times in the past year and a half and each time came home and went to buy beer the same day.
He isn't verbally or physically abusive.
I could give hundreds of other accounts of of things he has done but I think I have probably gotten that point across.
The reason I'm writing this is because my mom has finally decided to divorce him. He plans on living in their cottage about 250 miles away. If he moves there alone I can't help but think he will be dead with a year or two. He will drink himself to death or crash his truck and maybe kill someone else in the process. (My mother took his keys and refused to give them back several months ago after she got home from work and found him drunk backing his truck into my repeatedly trying o go buy beer.)
Today he said he wasn't feeling well and tonight he didn't drink or smoke all night (HIGHLY unusual). Then he said he was "seeing ribbons", hallucinating, and he was laughing and smiling but actually acting rather normal otherwise. It was bizarre. My mom took his blood pressure and it was high earlier and them back to normal later, she wanted to take him to the emergency room but he refused.
Here is a last of the drugs he is currently prescribed:
This first one I think was recent:
Benzopine MES 1Mg (Take one, twice daily as needed, substitute for Cogentin)
Gabapentin 300MG capsule TEV (Take two, three times daily)
Geodon 80MG capslue ROE (Take one, three times daily)
Seroquel 100MG tablet ZEN (Take one in morning and one at night)
Simvastian 20MG tablet TEV (Take one tablet at bed time)
Sertraline HCL 100MG tablet TEV (Take one tablet, twice a day, substituted for Zoloft)
Carvedilol 25MG tablet MYL (Take one tablet, twice daily)
Lisinopril 20MG tablet SAN (Take one a day)
Vytorin 10/20 tablet M/S (Take one a day)
Plavax 75 MG tablet BRI (Take one a day)
Cozaar 50MG tablet MSD (Take one a day)
Zetia 10 MG tablet M/S (Take one a bed time)
He also takes aspirin everyday.
And drinks.
His doctors know he's an alcoholic.
I'm begging for professional help here, suggestions, advice, anything.
Thank you,
Joe
My dad has been an alcoholic for 12+ years. He's 54 years old and he's overweight.
About 8 years ago he had open heart surgery (6 way bypass). Sometime after that he became depressed and started having panic/anxiety attacks, which I understand is fairly common after a major surgery. He wound up being put on and taken off off several medications for depression, bi-polar disorder and seizures. He was given Xanax (among other drugs) by a Psychiatrist about two years ago which he became addicted to. He stopped taking the Xanax about a year ago and had (or claimed) withdrawals for a year afterward which caused even more severe anxiety.
While on all of these drugs he was drinking heavily.
About four years ago he retired and has since done practically nothing but sit in his basement, drink beer, smoke cigarettes and watch t.v.
Over the past year or two he has gotten worse. He gets much more drunk or appears much more drunk from far less alcohol than it would have taken four year ago.
He started falling randomly and convulsing even when he's not drunk. He was tested and had whatever scans would be standard when something like that happens and they found nothing wrong.
He has lost control of his bowels several times that I know of and many others I don't, once walking to the store to buy more beer a block away from out house. The neighbor complained.
He wakes in the middle of the night and sits in his kitchen and eats huge quantities of food and he isn't aware he had done it the next day.
Sometimes he will not remember things he did hours ago and once a week he will talk about something that never happened.
In the past three weeks my mom realized he has stolen all of her jewelry (Including her first wedding ring from him and his wedding ring) and pawned it to buy beer. He stole my kid sisters change jar, he pawned many of his tools, etc. This was completely beyond what I ever thought he was capable of doing.
In the morning when he hasn't had anything to drink he is usually fairly lucid and if you try to discuss how he feels, or what he has done he skirts around it or stays silent and it's incredibly frustrating and sad.
He has been to rehab three times in the past year and a half and each time came home and went to buy beer the same day.
He isn't verbally or physically abusive.
I could give hundreds of other accounts of of things he has done but I think I have probably gotten that point across.
The reason I'm writing this is because my mom has finally decided to divorce him. He plans on living in their cottage about 250 miles away. If he moves there alone I can't help but think he will be dead with a year or two. He will drink himself to death or crash his truck and maybe kill someone else in the process. (My mother took his keys and refused to give them back several months ago after she got home from work and found him drunk backing his truck into my repeatedly trying o go buy beer.)
Today he said he wasn't feeling well and tonight he didn't drink or smoke all night (HIGHLY unusual). Then he said he was "seeing ribbons", hallucinating, and he was laughing and smiling but actually acting rather normal otherwise. It was bizarre. My mom took his blood pressure and it was high earlier and them back to normal later, she wanted to take him to the emergency room but he refused.
Here is a last of the drugs he is currently prescribed:
This first one I think was recent:
Benzopine MES 1Mg (Take one, twice daily as needed, substitute for Cogentin)
Gabapentin 300MG capsule TEV (Take two, three times daily)
Geodon 80MG capslue ROE (Take one, three times daily)
Seroquel 100MG tablet ZEN (Take one in morning and one at night)
Simvastian 20MG tablet TEV (Take one tablet at bed time)
Sertraline HCL 100MG tablet TEV (Take one tablet, twice a day, substituted for Zoloft)
Carvedilol 25MG tablet MYL (Take one tablet, twice daily)
Lisinopril 20MG tablet SAN (Take one a day)
Vytorin 10/20 tablet M/S (Take one a day)
Plavax 75 MG tablet BRI (Take one a day)
Cozaar 50MG tablet MSD (Take one a day)
Zetia 10 MG tablet M/S (Take one a bed time)
He also takes aspirin everyday.
And drinks.
His doctors know he's an alcoholic.
I'm begging for professional help here, suggestions, advice, anything.
Thank you,
Joe
COMMUNITY LEADER
r u taking opiate painkillers?bet u have some funky withdrawal!Buphenorphrine aka Suboxone helps with this...have u tried for craving?may help u stay clean!some complain but it costs too much...i reply how much the drugs costing a month?A MD prescribes that has special license 2 dispense....something for u to research/consider!i see success with it with heroin addicts and those addicted to opiate painkillers.
It would appear that your dad has gone where you may not reach him i am surprised that he is alive they say that one drinks unttil he finds something to take its place it means that he thinks life is not worh much right now i have been around them worked with them andif you ask why they drink most will invent a reason some say i dont know If your dad cannot help himself you will have to do it and it is hard there are state hosps that are free but again it will be hard because a true alcoholic will lie chaat anything to get a drink if he could get treatment then someone might get ti the reason but at the stage he is in you can not reason with him I wish you lots of luck and i really care you must go to alnon maybe they can help you understand if you decide to help your dad and it does not work do not ever feel guilty you are trying to help someone you love even if does not turn out the way you would like as tiu can see with all that he is taking he must get help soon has the liver been tested
fropm someone who cares madame
fropm someone who cares madame
Oh my your situation hit me right in the heart. My daughter, who is now 18 years old, was the first one to confront me regarding my addiction. She didn't know what I was doing but she knew it was something. I was at such a low and she was scared...I know she still worries. She's really the only one who could have made me do something about my problem. My problem was, and is, pain medication...which I get off the streets. Just know that if your dad admits to something, there is probably also something else...at the time, I was also dabbling with cocaine. My sick brain rationalized that I was coming "clean" by admitting to painkiller addiction...even though I hadn't really done enough cocaine to become addicted, I was still living in a lie and altering my reality in order for it to seem tolerable. I guess my suggestion might be, don't feel sorry for your dad, be realistic which in any addiction context, reality is harsh. Don't let him make himself feel better with words or allow him to pacify you with what he says. I can almost assure you that if he is truthful about one part of his addiction, he is hiding another part. Not that I know your dad, but that's just how addiction works. Do him a favor and don't be satisfied with anything he says. sounds cliche' but actiins do speak louder than words. I have again relapsed and am now on day 10 of becoming clean again...now painkillers, no cocaine, no nothing. It is PAINFULLY difficult and that is an understatement. If one is not willing to take drastic measures to stop, then they won't stop...there is no cutting corners, no easy way...in your dad's case it is obvious he will require a controlled environment to acheive a first step to getting better. He's the only one who can choose that. If you feel you have a "card" to play to make him go there, by all means play it...an addict rarely will have it within him or herself to make that first move...some other "harsh" reality will have to occur. Especially because you love him, DO NOT try to make it easier for him because that is not real...there is NO easy way...he does not need comfort, he needs reality. I'm not a preacher, I just been there and know. I know the harsh reality for me was seeing the despair in my daughter's eyes...it didn't cure me but it sure made me pay closer attention to what I'm doing. She did not tell me everything was going to be ok because she didn't think it was going to be ok. I needed to know that.
COMMUNITY LEADER
i think ur referring 2 Antabuse.if u wanna drink simple don't take it!has 2 side effects men hate...limp organ and onion breath!have only seen 2 people in 22 years of working with alcoholics have some success with it and that was limited.Antabuse make u sick don't cut craving.Campral don't make u sick but cuts craving stellar. Man gotta wanna stop!
Sounds like he needs some of those pills that make you violently puke if you drink. Nasty stuff but will make you not swallow a drop.
I too am blown away by the story, sorry too.
..."Sometimes he will not remember things he did hours ago and once a week he will talk about something that never happened"..... I can relate, this does happen the longer we live and longer we drink. It's amazing how much abuse our bodies can take. Yes father is killing himself and frustrated I don't have a solution. I find it unusal he's not verbally or physically abusive too, but that's good if nothing else.
Good luck tho
..."Sometimes he will not remember things he did hours ago and once a week he will talk about something that never happened"..... I can relate, this does happen the longer we live and longer we drink. It's amazing how much abuse our bodies can take. Yes father is killing himself and frustrated I don't have a solution. I find it unusal he's not verbally or physically abusive too, but that's good if nothing else.
Good luck tho
COMMUNITY LEADER
thank u fellow dog loving man.....doesn't sound like he'd take care of a dog..he's not taking care of himself.wax-we're here for u..u have a arduos road ahead of u.....ur father is lucky he has u 2 love him!
joe....i'm 55...stopped drinking and it was real tough.drank for 15 years ..too much for about 10 years..way too much the last year or two...he's just got to do it....maybe he needs something like a pet to love and reminded him of when he stopped drinking...like a dog for a new begaining...just make sure you can take care of the dog if he can't...and i would listen to urber and ibizan...they have great info...sounds like whatever he goes through as far as detox goes it will take 6 months to a year or more....good luck...billy
COMMUNITY LEADER
Good God woman!I read this and my jaw dropped....the meds he's on!Uber gave u gr8t advice.U r doing all u can to keep ur father from killing himself,but he may suceed sadly if he doesn't WANT to stop drinking.U need help and support for urself.please keep us posted....u've been added to my morning prayer list!
I am sorry for your situation. It sounds horrific. Im not a doctor but I have some advice for you. The first thing you should do is get to an Al-Anon meeting AND get to an addiction counselor. The only way you will be able to help your father and mother for that matter is to help yourself first. The problem with alcoholism is that a majority of the medical community is ignorant to the disease. Hence your father being on some pretty dangerous meds right now. None of the meds are going to be effective because he drinks. His bizarre behavior and various physical symptons are a direct result of him mixing the alcohol with these meds. Of course they aren't going to find anything neurologically wrong with him. These meds and the alcohol especially are affecting his brain. I believe him when he claims his benzodiazipine withdrawal took a year. He's got multi-layered problems and it seems the doctors are throwing meds at him to help. Which aren't obviously, they are making the matters worse. I am sure in his heart of hearts he doesn't want to be this way but he sees no way out and the addiction has rendered him completely powerless.
Please seek help for yourself. Once you do, you will find people that can help your father. None of this is easy but you have 2 choices. Let him drag you into his addiction or stand up and be the man I am sure he needs you to be right now. You will see everything change. Please keep me posted on your progress and his.
Please seek help for yourself. Once you do, you will find people that can help your father. None of this is easy but you have 2 choices. Let him drag you into his addiction or stand up and be the man I am sure he needs you to be right now. You will see everything change. Please keep me posted on your progress and his.
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