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Where will it end?

My father is 54 and has been an alcoholic ever since I can remember. It reached boiling point two years after he was retrenched at his job and then proceeded to sit the whole day and drink. He would wake up around lunch time and then just sit in front of the television drinking the rest of the day until 4am. He finally admitted he needed help late 2011 and entered a rehab. His visit was cut short when he had to be admitted to hospital after 4 short days there. After being in hospital for two he checked out and came home and promised not to drink again. I however knew in my gut his visit was too short and feared he would relapse as he didnt finish the course and refused to go to AA meetings. He stayed sober for a year, cleaned up his act and got a job in a different town in 2012. He had to stay in the town alone from October until December when we could move down to him. I had caught him in a few lies, and seeing as I'm a journalist I could see right through his lies from there on out. My mom didn't believe me and only started when we found his Vodka stash in boxes from the moving which weren't unpacked. He ignored my mom when she said she knew he started again and kept hiding it and pouring it in his cold drink when he should we didn't see. It's been 3 years of this. He lies to us when he goes to town and hides his Vodka stash. My mom keeps confronting him and giving ultimatums but he acts like we're dumb and like we know nothing. It was so bad that I  didn't want to come visit for Christmas this year because I know what he gets like, especially on New Years eve, but I didn't want to let my mom suffer through it alone. I get so angry at him. I listened to him cough and vomit until 5am this morning. Now he acts like he has flue but it's exactly what happened last time just before he went to rehab & hospital. He spends all the money on booze but then complains about being poor. I can't handle this anymore. How long before he gets fired again and we go through all the crap again. I'm so tired of this. Today is New Years Eve.. Can't wait to spend it with a drunken, mean father ruining it for everyone. Where will this end this time?
4 Responses
Avatar universal
If he keeps this up,and it sounds like he will,getting fired again is soon in coming!You don't have to spend time with a drunken mean ANYONE!where will it end?i think we both know the answer to this!I just celebrated 32 years sober/clean.It is a daily regimen of work,physically,mentally emotionally and spiritually.There are some who will never be able to wrap their head around this,and they die from this insidious disease!Have you ever gone to Al-Anon?what @ your mom?
Thanks for the comment. I haven't been there myself yet, neither has my mom. Are families allowed to attend?
Avatar universal
AA is for the alcoholic,Al-Anon is for the family members of the alcoholic!try a few meetings and listen to what you have in common w/the others there!All questions are welcomed!
Avatar universal
Ditto ibizan !!

The people of Al-Anon will bring peace to You and Your Mother.  The people there have walked in Your shoes and You walk in Theirs.  Everyone there has loved an alcoholic (and been in the depths of despair because of it) and are eager to welcome You, eager to share.  

3060903 tn?1398565123
\while your mother may be enabling your father , by staying , you would be enabling your mother to enable your father, if you continue to visit. you see?
please , go to alanon and be able to pass that info first hand to your mother. Maybe then she will be able to help your father , by no longer enabling him, herself. ?

sorry that you and your mom and dad are all suffering so much from alcoholism. I'm an alcoholic with 16 plus years sobriety now. Have faith, that following the right routine will net results. and the first is Alanon.
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