Who is over reacting in this situation?

[snoot]

Hello,

I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, living together a little over 1 year.  When we started seeing each other I was aware that he might have a drinking problem but we were not seriously involved so I guess it didn't bother me much.  Back then, in University, he did not drink often but when he went out, he would drink to the point of blacking out.  He would drink in front of the hockey game and couldn't stop, kept going until he passed out.  He's told me he's turned on the oven and passed out on the kitchen floor with a pizza burning in the oven.  He once tried to run home on the highway, lucky for him, the cops only called him a cab.  He's fallen asleep in strangers cars in bar parking lots.

Fast forward a few years later...  He realizes that he cannot really handle his drink all that well.  After one night of stupid drinking and not calling me once to tell me where he was or when he was coming home, he promised he'd stop.  And he did.  For several months.  He started to drink every once in a while, special occasions, holidays or after big exams at his masters level university courses.  He can't control it.  He is a very active, slim, vegetarian.  He drinks a few pints but can't stop.  He insists he is fine up until the point where he just drops.  

I am scared for him for so many reasons and on so many levels.  He knows how I feel and he knows I support him when he doesn't drink.  I've asked him to attend AA or something similar, he refuses.  Last night, he told me he'd be home after the hockey game.  Instead he barged in at 2:30 am calling everyone in the bar a$$holes.  He was thrown out, he says it's because he's too friendly.   I think it's probably because he annoyed the hell out of everyone.  

Today, I asked him to seek counseling.  I know he has esteem issues.  I've been to counseling, many people have and many can benefit from it just by hearing themselves speak in front of someone who won't judge them.  I told him he had 4 days to reflect on it.  Me and the counseling or nothing.  I'm scared he will take the later option.  I asked him to leave the house for the day, I needed to be alone and I was in no shape to leave the house.  

Does anyone have anything to share out there, comments or stories?
Thanks.

[dominosarah]

Nicely said boogieman~~~~~~sara

[boogieman]

Hello. I think you have the answers to your own questions. Ultimatums rarely work with alcoholics. He can't be forced, he must want to quit. For your own sanity, I highly reccomend checking out alanon to gain insight into what you're dealing with, and healthy ways to take care of yourself. Take care, GM

[GRIMM323]

its none of my buissness but you got a point just dont beg for him it will make you look bad do what feels right dont chose the wrong answer