Let go of your fear, fear is forgetting everything about recovering, start with a larger dose, use as prescibed and just do it.
You are not alone for sure. It's 8:30 AM and I'm on my second vodka drink. Pretty sad. This is a new forum but well needing. We can support each other. I'm ready to stop too.....
Please really consider getting a doctor's advice and maybe going into the hospital if you're going to quit. I used to drink like you do and I know what it's like to try to detox at home with all those responsibilities and things going on with children. I think it would be much easier for you if you just had somewhere nice and quiet to lay down and people to take care of you and sort of monitor you, just in case you needed something, you never know. And why don't you give yourself a break? You are not the bad person you think you are. That terrible feeling of fear chasing you all the time is nearly over and you can finally step out into the sunshine.
Hi. I'm so happy you understand me. I'm scared..... This is over the top. I want to get sober but I don't want anyone to find out about this problem. I'm so ashamed...
If I go inpatient what is my first step?
Hello there. I know exactly where you're coming from. I have been off alcohol for 12 years now and can't believe I don't drink. I tried so hard to stop and just couldn't, so tried cutting down, and couldn't. The remorse, broken promises and insanity just about drove me nuts and my head just wouldn't shut up. Once I had accepted I was an alcoholic, which I fought for soooooooo long, that was when my recovery came. I now attend 12 step meetings regularly and they're great because everyone is just the same as me and it's not the worse thing in the world, although when you're going through it it feels like it. There is life after alcohol, and it's a wonderful world. Give yourself a chance to detox. I'm sure there are places that will take you straight away and if not, commit yourself to hospital. It's not your fault, you were born that way, so don't beat yourself up, you are not a bad person trying to be good, you're a sick person trying to get well. Good luck.
First you have to look at what your insurance will do for chemical dependency inpatient treatment. Hopefully they'll give you 28 days. And just talk to the people there. Probably your insurance company will have contracted out their mental health arm to another company so they'll refer you over there to talk to someone and they'll tell you you need a referral from your primary care doctor and a psychiatrist, which should not be a big deal. Go to your GP or straight to a psychiatrist if your ins. co. doesn't require a referral to one and tell him what's going on and your fears and how much you drink and emphasizing the loss of control and unmanagebility of your life right now. I don't know where you are, but hopefully he will be able to recommend a good treatment center at a hospital in your city so your family can come be a part of family groups and meetings, which are very important so they can get a picture of how they fit into all this. You will need their help when you get out Or I don't know how old the kids are so maybe not. But at least your husband will hopefully participate because alcoholism is a family disease and as you get better he's going to find that he's got a very different wife than the one he had before ;o) You will find that taking this time for you will be one of the greatest experiences of your life.
Downhearted, very well said. You just told my story. ;o) Congratulation on 12 years!