Health consequences of binge drinking makes me to stop it. After knowing about its standard I stopped drinking it.
I am happy to hear you quit drinking and know you are alcoholic. I am also, I quit over 18 months ago. I also was causing myself and others problems when I drank . I went to an outpatient program for 9 months. It was 12 step program of AA, I learned I had an anger problem and took a anger management course also. The 12 steps taught me to change my way of thinking, and my behaviour. My outlook on life was what was wrong. When drinking it comes out in a bad way. When drinking a person isn't thinking clearly, and it takes a while to clear your mind. I learned how to deal with problems and not to drink over it. I dumped my friends who I drank with and quit going to places where there was drinking. I tell people I quit and don't drink anymore. I go to AA meetings where people understand me and we talk, and have also found new sober friends and a nice sponsor. Life is so much better and I am so happy to have changed my life. It takes time to change your thinking, but believe me, you will find AA meetings you love and people there to understand and support you. My family and I are close now, and I have a loving relationship also. The rewards in my life for living by the 12 step program are amazing and a blessing. It will come to you also if you go to AA meetings and follow the program. Stay positive!!!
I have no experience however being in a family with multi alcoholics. You do defently have a problem. What you need to do is talk to all the people in your life and tell them you have a problem and if your cant be around me without alcohol then please dont visit till you are sober ask them to not even offer you any type of alcoholic dirink because you are unable to controll your cravings. If any of the people in you life doesnt understand cut them out of your life. Start aa mettings. Clean out all alcohol in your house. I may be rough for a while, but there will be a time you will be able to be around others how are drinking with out losing this. I am so afraid for you to hurt some one seriouslly or even killing someone and it will all be because you drink. If you dont do it for your self do it for other people that may be a victim of you rage.
To be honest That sounds familiar. My b/f gets into trouble when he drinks. Both of us are have a drink, have to carry on drinking. For me I lost a lot of friends, by just not been able to handle drink properly, and it has had a negative effect on my life. Best thing is to go cold turkey like you said. You don't need to say you cant drink because you have a problem, just insist you feel like having something else, and not really feeling up to drinking alcohol. Maybe joke that one leads to another, but just keep it light hearted when you refuse it.