thank you for your encouragement. it is such a crazy disease he has, and both his parents were alcoholics as well. every thing here is one day at a time, I have checked on him a couple times to see if he was alive! I cope the best I am able to and try my darnedest to live the best life I can!~
I don't know that I will search out any other alanon groups. my schedule is a very difficult to to work around the meetings. I do have a church group that is very supportive to me, but as symptoms are increasing, I find my needs are as well. I am quite strong and can see the big picture, 3 years ago, he had an affair and was caught and lied to his bosses to cover it up, was able to get a legal separation from me behind my back. it has quite a rollercoaster of emotions, but I am getting to the place of me taking care of me and beginning to live my life with out him.
I had to find an Al-anon meeting that worked for me. Like Nighthawk sez, couple of bad apples spoil the cider. I tried several until I found one that didn't cross-talk. The meeting I go to now has long-term members who have actually worked the steps. In Al-anon, when the steps are actually worked, ppl change. Arguing doesn't happen. Getting well happens. Nobody tries to fix anyone else. That's God's job. My daughter has 9 years clean time now in NA, but I still go every now and then. It seems to work when everyone is working it. It takes some action on our part to get better in Al-anon.
It's a very, very tough program when you think of the reasons we need to go there. If WE are using alcohol, we have the power to stop if we have a spark of willingness. When it's someone we love that's using, we're totally powerless over what they decide to do.
I'm sorry to hear your family abandoned you in your time of really needing support from them. In real life we can't pick our family, but we sure can pick and choose everyone else in life. Glad that you found us here. This group is wonderful and very supportive. We will NEVER abandon you.
Maybe try another meeting, it sounds like the one you went to has a couple of bad apples. You can also access Alanon online, that might be better for you?
Did something happen 3 years ago to increase your husband's drinking? a job loss, a death etc. Is there any talking to him? He sees that he's wasting away, losing that much weight. Can you get him to a doctor to get his liver checked at least? Is he computer savvy? Could you suggest that he looks at Medhelp, and find some support here? Maybe another alcoholic, like myself, or my husband, get through to him? We've got over 5000 days clean and sober, each of us, now. We couldn't be happier. We've both got liver disease and there's been no progression for the last 14 years. Please know that there is hope, even for the most hopeless. Please know you can reach out by private message to anyone here, you don't ever need to feel alone honey. I'm sorry that you're family have exiled you. I know how that feels. It helps to make friends. I'll message you. Liz
I am very thankful I have found this group. I have been dealing with this alone. my family has abandoned me because of the alcohol ,
I tried al anon and got sick of all the cussing and arguing so i stopped going, I did buy a couple of their books though. I was quite disappointed with alanon actually. no plans to ever go back
You might want to look up the closest Al-anon meeting to you and start going. It's for the family of the alcoholic. Helps you to get your life back. You've been through a lot watching him slowly drink his life away like that. At the meeting you'll find others just like you; with an alcoholic in their life that they can't do anything about.
He has been drinking for about 35 years, but now is unable to stop on his own and refuses detox. the pain he was having was in the area of the liver and pancreas, very sharp and he would be doubled up in a fetal position. all that pain is gone now, he has dropped about 80 lbs in a year and was not trying to lose weight. the excessive drinking has been going on for about 3 years. I have never been around an alcoholic before this.
You say "his pain is not happening anymore." What pain, and was he drinking to get rid of the pain? This is not clear. Also, is it actually possible to drink such a quantity of liquid? And if you are new to alcoholism, does that mean he just started his excessive drinking? Could you give us more information?