Glad it made you smile :-)
Hi all, great forum - really interesting reading the stories and can identify with most. Just wondered if there are similar people to my own situation.
I am 45. I have drunk since I was 16 and have been an everyday drinker, about 3 cans of stella or 3/4 bottle of wine on weekdays and double this from Friday-Monday. I always thought this to be a moderate drinking amount and have always held down a teaching job throughout. I didn't think quitting would be too hard.
I stopped drinking via detox about 8 weeks ago, 2 weeks before my first child was born. I wanted to quit to break my family trend of alcoholism and enjoy my daughter's young days free of any alcoholic haze.
Like many on here though I experienced the symptoms of headaches, neausea, shakiness and lethargy - but these symptoms have persisted and show no signs of going. Really hard as I'm back into teaching again and struggling to cope with that as well as new baby. Thanks to my wonderful wife I can sleep through on work nights whilst she deals with baby and I am sleeping 10 hours (unheard of when I was drinking!) but still feel tired.
Obviously this is increasingly disappointing as I was so expecting to be full of life and energy by now. Instead I am tired, depressed and agitated by the time I get home and struggle to support my wife and baby as I need to.
I am increasingly thinking of returning to drink, simply as I functioned a lot better with it than without it. Has anyone else on here had similar experiences after so long from quitting? I have had blood tests for diabetes etc. Alcohol counsillor thinks it may be medical and to go to doctor. Doctor thinks it may just be exhaustion but apart from having new baby which of course is hard work, I have no reason to be exhausted, certainly no more than any other new parents.
Would greatly appreciate any thoughts or advice from the people on here. Best wishes to everyone trying to get better from alcohol addiction.
All of us wanted to not feel what u r after years of drinking heavy.....fast recovery vs.years of damaging our central nervous systems w/alcohol!I sure felt what u r feeling....and in time it went away.Google PAWS....Post Acute Withdrawal from Alcoholism.....i believe u will find some answers 4 urself w/this info!
If you drank that much, in my opinion, there isn't a way you will be able to drink socially. Our brain has memory of the alcohol intake and what our tolerance levels are at the time of quitting. If you started drinking again it would take just as much..if not more to get a buzz...thus, you would probably end up drinking more than when you quit. I learned this in rehab. Just a thought. Hang in there. I am in the same boat.
U r so right my dear...our brain chemistry doesn't disappear when we stop using...its always wired to be re-ignited again!i was a MISERABLE failure @ social drinking/recreational drug use....which is why i HAD to retire from ALL of it!
I am a 48 yr old female, who quit drinking 12-27-2011. I was diagnosed with fatty liver and decided it was way past time to quit. I have been on several anti-depressants with no relief. I cannot bring myself to go to AA as I am in a very small community. I have promised myself I will never drink again, however I am now a hermit. I have isolated myself, moved back to my childhood home and don't know what else to do. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
do u have children?a partner?things u enjoy doing that maybe fell by the wayside w/the drinking?a churchgoer?activity is a good antidote to depression/isolation!
I stop drinking wine 1 week ago , I feel so tired
I never felt do lazy and just tired day and night
I did drink a bottle of wine every night for last two years. I stopped cold turkey. I can't drink just one glass I drink till I pass out, I knew it was time to quit,
I too have stopped drinking after years of drinking whisky and wine. For the first week I felt terrible, tired, moody, weak, sugar cravings, hungry and basically like a truck had hit me but after the first week it started to improve. Colour coming back into my face, not so tired, still crazy sugar cravings and still a bit moody but once you read the previous posts and understand that its all part of the process it becomes much easier to deal with. Thanks for posting its good to know that all of the above is normal (if that's the right word). I'm going to abstain on Christmas day but I'm really struggling with NYE. I think I'll stay strong though and leave it be.....
I have stopped drinking 5 days ago as well as gone to AA which believe me was scared to walk into a meeting by myself for thevfirst time. The people all were amazing so loving and kind ... I've been to 3 meetings and meeting new friends and people. It's early days yet but no desire to drink and just noticed my body complaining that its too tired to get up... But it seems from reading some of the posts here its not uncommon to feel that way
Deechy and Digio The holidays are normally a difficult time to try and quit but it sounds like you are both doing great, one day at a time, you will make it!
I hope the best for you both!
You are a few weeks ahead of me....as of today it is day 10 and no booze. Wine, a bottle or two a day for many years, was/is my weakness. I was doing a search to see if quiting drinking made you tired. The irritability i feel makes sense but after a day or two or so i crashed. I am getting vitamins that is not an issue......i expected without hangovers i would feel great....logically i realize after years of drinking that great is not going to happen overnight but i am so tired....are you feeling any better
Google Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome with Alcohol and u will find some answers......i xperienced quite a bit of what ur describing and then some within my first few months of sobriety!
Hi there you do not have to go any of it by yourself go to AA in your area you will meet new friends as well as be accepted for yourself as you are. You get to hear how people have manged to stay sober I have been going along only a short period of time but love going and we go out for other things after wards and we all are there fro each other. You need the support of others who have gone before you
Good for you . I recently gave up alcohol all together after many times trying to stop and then did what you are planning on doing cut back and then get off altogether. It took a year the longest of not drinking was a month now I've gone to AA where I meet so many people like me they are great and we have fun food and fellowship.i look forward to the meetings and they help me stay sober. I know I can't be a social drinker I'm alcoholic and may cut down for a while and r
Think I've got a handle on it but after a while I'm right back to drinking too inch . All the best with your trying to cut one out at a time .
I would think after the length of time you have been deinking you can't stop by yourself for long although you have done really well for the length you haven't drunk. Could I suggest going to AA .there you will find people that are just like us and they welcome you with open arms. Will encourage you with their stories of their struggles and successes. It's hard going the first i me but then you will love it
I stopped drinking on 2nd January this year after 20 years of drinking two bottles of wine/1/2 bottle vodka every night. I am 48 years of age and am appalled at my drunken antics and embarrassing incidents over those wasted twenty years. My father died of liver disease due to alcohol at aged 52. At the time I was in my twenties and never drank. I started at 28 years and have never stopped or tried to stop for the last 20 years. It stopped on 2nd due to my young daughter asking if there was vodka in my juice she was about to pick up. There was! Well I don't know if I've had it lucky but since I gave up I have never had a craving for it - which makes me guilty for not stopping before. Only withdrawal symptoms were first three nights sweating in bed and constantly tired. Thanks to this blog I now know that that will diminish with time. I think I have had it lucky, I'm now planning to stop smoking on 1st feb - lets hope it's as easy. Love to all of you and wishing you a wonderful sober life for you and your families and friends xx
I finally decided I'm quitting, this is day 7. I'm circling a small calender in my office every morning, not bragging about it to my wife that's for sure. Tried to quit for years. Went to AA about 5 yrs ago and found this blog because I'm so tired. I know it's the withdrawal of sugar. AA says to eat candy, suck hard candy and drink reg Coke. Glad to read so many in the same boat, I know the fatigue will end. When I start feeling better, the Booze Demon will tempt me, NOT THIS TIME. I'm done with this crap. I was down to a 750ml bottle of Chardonnay+ a couple of my son's beers, the micro brewery stuff, WAY too good, every 2-3 days, but this is not working anymore. Son 24, really notices immediately on coming into the house because of how I act. I'm 62 and like you, Kath, started drinking wine at 28. Was drinking 1.5 liter a day at one time. I'm getting headaches, the Excedrin (migraine stuff) is working for that, but I have no energy. I know it's the sugar-energy I get when drinking that is the addiction, yea, it's the brain activation, we all know that. By the way AA says it's a disease, I never agreed but whatever gets us to stop, religion whatever is the goal. To me, it's an addiction because one sip of wine and I'm donefor. Despite the fatigue, I know I'm feeling better each day, clearer too although I'm foggy. Sleeping is sporadic, but will get better I have faith and my allergies will subside, I know I'm now deathly allergic to the sulfides in the wine, and drinking some 6-8% alc micro beers after the wine is a killer on the allergies, the hops on top of the sulfates. I used Flonase for a couple years so I could keep drinking but completely lost my smell.(common) Stay the course, friends, don't have it in the house, don't take money or creditcard to Riteaid, I'm serious this time, you are too, and we'll get thru this.
Been where ur at my friend-here r some tips that helped me-cut down on the caffeine and sugary snacky foods....it aggravates the feeling u describe....lots of water,proteins-fish,turkey chicken and complex carbs...whole grains-breads snack crackers,lowfat cheeses.....baked potato-skin on-best part:)fresh fruits,and green vegetables!U stay the course-i did....one hour at a time,one day at a time....29 yrs.ago!pls keep us posted!
thanks for this very helpful forum...I quit drinking 25 days ago, and was wondering why I am still so incredibly tired all the time. I just have no energy. I have monster naps in the daytime when I'm off work, and drag my butt all the time. I thought I would have a bundle of energy after quitting drinking. So it's good to read all the responses and see that my fatigue is not unusual. And I used to dis AA, but my goodness, this time round I am more openminded, and the support, love and genuine nature of the people plus, starting the 12 steps has made an incredible difference to me and this is the longest I've stayed stopped, so I attribute that to AA
It sounds like you are an alcoholic, if you don't think so, try some controlled drinking, if you fail, then you are an alcoholic and you will NEVER be able to drink socially again. I have been sober for 11 years and I am always tired, still after 11 years. I have had every blood test, sleep studies, anti depressants, anti anxiety meds and nothing has relieved my tiredness. It's quite frusterating. I did find out that my testosterone was slightly low and vitamin D is low, so I have been taking adro gel for the low T and vitamin D supplements to no avail, although it's only been a month. I don't know what the answer is, I feel I will probably just have to live with it.
test thyroid?how is ur weight?do u get exercise?lead a sedentary life?
Great forum:) I have been alcohol free for 6 days. When I drank I had no trouble getting to sleep, but would wake many times during the night and felt ok the next day. But now, I sleep through the night and I am so very tired the next day. I have to drag myself out of bed, it's crazy. Also, when I drank I didn't eat and my weight is now 45.6 kilos. I haven't eaten properly for years and now have no idea where to start. Food still doesn't hold a big appeal for me, but I want/need to eat. Any suggestions:)
i had the same sleep issues in early sobriety...they do resolve themselves the longer u stay sober.for foods....sources of protein...chicken, fish,turkey....whole grain breads and crackers, fresh fruits and vegetables...lots of C found in broccoli, spinach,oranges....and alcohol depletes the body of potassium so bananas,kiwis,apricots......to name a few!and too much caffeine and chocolate can aggravate the insomnia.
Been 3 months now without a drop. Drank for 20 years daily. I got blood test and no hep B or C, no diabetes, liver function good only thing was cholesterol was high end of normal. My feet were tingling, cold and skin died and peeled. I had B12 injections (depression can deplete B12) and take 100mg of asprin a day to thin the blood (as alcohol thins blood I thought my blood was thickening resulting in poor ciculation). After reducing saturated fats, sugar and having B12 injections and eating fruit and vegetables with exercise I feel a lot better. Now I just have to sort out my head. I drank to supress emotions and now only suffer mild anxiety and depression which I hope will totally disappear as my body repairs itself and I start feeling better about myself.
Full of energy now.
love to read good news here!do you have a sober support system of ppl?
No support group. I use my will power and help from my wife of 17 years together for 23. My wife has been very patient with me, the first month was hard, lots of communication (getting our issues out and talking about what is needed from each other). We both gave up tobacco 12 and a half years ago. Said today was the day we would ever have another fag and never have and never craved. The same with my drinking, I said from this day I will never drink again and have not had a drop in 3 months and have had no cravings. I don't know how I do it. I guess if I want something bad enough I will do it. I wish I could have the same power when it comes to my personal feelings/emotions.
Mar 04, 2012
Yes there is a way to quit without AA. Its called the 12 NON steps and its for people who have a brain and can think for themselves. Its based out of California and is expensive, but just reading about what they say on the site will spare you a religious based AA program that doesn't work for a lot of people.
Mar 04, 2012
I hope you are doing well, how are things going for you?
ericramu- You should show respect for those who have used AA as a tool to maintain their sobriety. Your comment is unwelcomed and has been reported. Apparently your brain didn't allow you to think that post out before making it!
Dolmen I believe this is the thread you are talking about. Nowhere am I implying that you must be an AA member to post. Ericramu was not just stating his opinion he also insulted those who have chosen to use AA. For this he was reported. He has not since posted.
My intentions here are nothing more than to help those who ask. Click on my name and read my posts. BTW I have never been a member of AA but I do not criticize those who use this method. Do whatever it takes!
Have a nice day.
To YOU ALL!!!!! this is an awesome experience to read each of your testimonies as i am on my 3rd day no drinking (have quit other x's) and have 2maro off....my alcoholic brain is telling me "its your day off" and I came across this page looking for answer to 1 question...
Thank you All and Stay Strong and God Bless your journey.....
is there a site on fb for US folks to chat?
I decided to quit drinking about five months ago, I stopped initially for six weeks but was surrounded by other drinkers and eventually capitulated and started drinking again, however after drinking on and off for about two months I realised that the only way for me was never to drink again, I am now in week five and apart from feeling incredibly tired, I am feeling really positive and looking forward to a life without alcohol, I am 50 years old and have been a habitual drinker for 30 years, this is a great forum with lots of good advice and it is good to know that I can share my experiences, and gain knowledge and pearls of wisdom from people that have been through the early stages of sobriety. I would like to wish everyone here success with there alcohol free quest
I have been a heavy drinker for 10 years. I recently quit (21 days ago) and I feel amazing except for the exhaustion that most people seem to experience. I saw a lot of comments about the excessive sweating as well. I was really reluctant to go to inpatient because I heard they do a Valium detox. I did not want to mask my addiction by obtaining another. so I thought 'what the heck' I can do this. I know it is dangerous, very dangerous. But I had asked my Dr. and he said I would be fine and put me on Tarazadone. My first day sucked! My bf and I could polish off a 5th of whiskey, maybe more a DAY!! It was awful. Shaking and sweating non stop, so in order to feel better, we would have to drink all day long. Not to get drunk, just to feel normal. Well into 24 hours, my skin itched horribly and I had to lay in bed with cold wash cloths to get rid of the sweat. I would take a shower, and I could smell a chemical like formaldehyde. Like, I was being embalmed. 2nd day, same thing. Except I finally got my appetite back. I was happy about that. 3rd day, shakes went away, and a little sweaty, but not so much as having to change my sheets all the time. Day 5, felt normal...although, the itching is still a nuisance!! uggh. It only happens at night when I try to sleep. And, being a bartender...this is REALLy a challenge for me!! I still get the cravings when I have a rough night at work. I am on day 21 of no booze, and so far so good. My mind is clearer, I am focused and organized, I eat 3 healthy meals a day and my digestive system is back to normal. I just wonder how long it is going to take before I get my energy back...and the awful itching is still here. Like somebody is poking me with little pins and needles. This is my story. I thought I would share. I figure people out there can relate. Good luck to everybody! shan.
Hi there Shan, i spoke with you via private message, and have come back to re read your original comment that I saw.
First it would be a good idea to copy and paste your comment directly on to the Alcoholsm Forum, at the top right hand side of this page. I believe that you'll get some traffic there, and ultimately be able to make some friends that can support you in your journey.
Congratulations on your clean time, 23 days now , and counting. I used the larger tracker , and the big pic with the people with their arms raised, never ceases to make me feel good about each and every day I get to have put up there a the top of my profile ~ that i've maintained my sobriety for one more day ! No matter how hard my day goes, if i can go to bed and wake up to another day adding up, it makes it easier. Keeps you accountable too! The more people know exactly your situation , the more accountable you are. The more clean and sober friends you make, that are aware of your clean date, the harder it is to **** can the attempt. It's like we're all in this together. I think it might help you to use the tracker function on your profile page. Let me know if you want to , and have any trouble with it, okay?
I was somewhat worried, when i read that your bf and you were drinking buddies. You wrote, " My bf and I could polish off a 5th of whiskey, maybe more a DAY!! It was awful. Shaking and sweating non stop, so in order to feel better, we would have to drink all day long. Not to get drunk, just to feel normal."
Since you've said that you and your bf were drinking 13 plus (in order to avoid the shakes and sweats) over the entire day it sounds sounds like your bf has just as much of a problem as yourself, and you have not said anything here about how he is dealing with his problem with alcohol. Ultimately the drinking habits of our significant other (especially if you live together) do affect us and our sobriety, in one manner or anothe. You mentioned you don't like the smell, but to have someone so close continuing to use indiscrimiately affects our mood greatly I would think. How do you feel about your bf still drinking? Again, i'm asking on line here so that your followers are able to help you the best way that we can (and i believe that you will have followers , when you do end up posting your own question on the forum as we've discussed via private message).
I went to work within 30 days of my finally quitting drinking every day (although i have to admit, when i got to the end of my drinking career, i would black out drinking very little liquor, whereas my tolerance was huge for so many years, in the end ,my tolerance was significantly lowered, below that of the normal drinker). It helped to be so busy, where i was in a position that i had to perform for 10 - 12 hours a day. It' helped that i had no choice. lol After a few months , I was fine and well used to handling my affairs sober. I got real good at minimizing my side effects and concentrating solely on my job expectations. In other words, i did a lot of faking it til i made it.
I thought i had already posted on a comment here, maybe i did and this is a glitch, and i'll end up repeating myself, lol, but at the risk of not commenting I'll repeat, it's a whole different story if we are quitting while in the company of a spouse or significant other who is not recognizing his / or her active addiction issues? Where are you on this point?
Incidentally, I will , or you can , copy and paste my comment along with yours, so that anyone looking in to your posted quesion, can see how your thread is being played out. thanks. Liz
This is a very old post, and will be posted directly onto the Alcoholism forum for further comments.
I hope you're still keeping up the sobriety as I see this was posted sometime ago. Take Magnesium glycinate or citrate. Also read the book...Miracle Of Magnesium. ALL addiction and recovery stems from a Magnesium deficiency.
Hi did you go back to a moderate drinker then give up al together? I'm 4 weeks in and shattered, must be the sugar effect!
Hi just seen this I hope you found a support group
I found "RationalRecovery.org" after not connecting with AA. I immediately felt a relief and am practicing their philosophy, it is helping a lot.
RR is great stuff!very empowering!so glad u found it!
I am a 51 year old and I have been drinking for as long as I can remember. I would think nothing of drinking 2 or 3 of bottles of wine a night or a bottle of vodka, so much so I think my body became immune to the stuff as I never felt ill or hungover and had more energy than all of my kids…this has gone on for years, no-one would suspect I am a severe alcoholic, even my own family didn't realise the extent of my drinking!
I stopped drinking a month ago...I can't tell you why, I'd like to say it was a watershed moment but after losing both my parents to alcohol you'd have thought I'd have had one of those years ago! I detoxed at home by myself and it wasn't nearly as bad as I convinced myself it would be…I really thought I would need medical help as I had seen my parents come off the booze several times and I had seen extreme symptoms of alcohol withdrawal in both of them but my main symptom was very severe diarrhoea. One thing I do know (and I hate to say it) but vanity was one of the reasons I wanted to give up the booze…on the surface I looked good for my age but underneath the slap my skin was becoming a mess, especially my nose which I had to secretly 'squeeze' every morning as it was full of puss under the skin! I also had 'lumps' on my face which were starting to spread like wildfire and I knew then that my liver wasn't working properly.
I think I should have been dead a long time ago with the amount I used to drink and the lifestyle I used to lead as a result of the drinking but one reason I was probably still alive is that I was very physically active during the day and had a very good diet and really positive attitude to life in general!
Since stopping drinking a month ago my face is starting to improve considerably, I am losing weight (I now have cheekbones) and I sleep through the night better than I have done in years...something I never did before as my kidneys would ache so much. The downside, so far, is that I am very tired (even after a good nights sleep) but I am hoping this will pass and I also itch almost all of the time. I do miss drinking, I feel 'bored' most of the time without it but I hope this will also pass without having to drink myself into oblivion like I used to!
Good luck to you all, its nice to hear people's stories and realise it is possible to stop drinking! x
Thank you for your post. This is my first time posting as I have been in denial for a long time until the last several weeks. I have been a daily drinker now since 1999 and really picked it up after both of my folks passed away in 2008. I have been a scotch drinker and am now Type 2 diabetic and have fatty liver. I have not had a drink for 2 days, and I am feeling the effects right now big time.
I am not shaking, but have been experiencing night sweats, which I really hate. I too itch. Not all over, but particularly head, shoulders and arms. Never had that before. I am also excessively tired all the time. I am overweight (I used to show horses years ago and was nice and thin and in good shape). I am 63 years old now, and losing weight and getting enough exercise is TOUGH. I have aches and pains, particularly in my legs.
Given my age, as my days without booze continue on, will some of these symptoms end do you think?
exercise, get more sleep at night, keep a healthy diet and take vitamins...works for me.
I too have been drinking excessively with occasional drug use of different variety since I've been 15 and now 40. Only taking breaks during pregnancy and breast feeding. Even stopping breast feeding earlier than I would of liked because of picking bad habits back up. I have had years of good times but also bad, dark and bad decision making black out times.
I had been addicted to Tramadol for 2 years and finally withdrew and kicked that in Dec 2014. Now, I'm on 21 days with no alcohol after the last straw of a bad night. I feel liberated and really am determined to live sober going forward.
My foggy head is now clear and spirit is good but I do sleep very heavy for anywhere from 8-10 hrs per night and after dinner need a nap! Im hoping eventually I will be able to pop out of bed after 7 hrs of sleep with no need for naps! I agree with the boredom! Next step is to try to fill my once drinking hours with more family oriented activities! I keep telling myself one step at a time.
I too am happy to stumble upon this site! Helpful to hear I'm not the only one trying to better my life alcohol and drug free without going to a damn class!
I SLEPT like Rip Van Winkle in early sobriety!it is normal BUT if your like the rest of us who get their taste buds back previously not having good eating habits...and eat too many carbs,sweets and caffeine...these things can really contribute to the blood sugar levels peaks/valleys that contribute to sluggishness...carbs are BIG culprit here...and then we want to sleep a lot!PLUS we didn't have a normal sleep routine!a high protein diet w/plenty of water,good complex carbs and whole grains will help w/this!
To mellen 58, without wishing to be rude I think you should consider the fact that you are an alcoholic. I have a similar drinking pattern to you and am considering declaring myself an alcoholic. For people like us there is no such thing as drinking normally. We will never be able to drink sociably, once we start we MUST continue until we fall down. The only option is complete abstinence. Also, if you are having body pains you may already have fatty liver or liver cirrohsis (sorry for the spelling). I am going to stop next week and after a month I will go to the doctor. I expect him to tell me that if I don't give up immediately, and for the rest of my life, then I will die within five years. With respect, I think you should start to visit the Alcoholics Anonymous website. I find them a very reassuring presence even though I haven't yet joined their group. I wish you well.
Sorry, had I looked at the date I would have seen that the post I was replying to was five years old. My intervention after all this time must seem very rude. Please excuse me.
It took me awhile to notice how old the posts were. I am experiencing extreme fatigue ... no problem sleeping. It is all that I want to do. It's been a week. Is this normal
Hi Sam Yes it is normal.. Eat as healthy as you can and force yourself to exercise, even a swift walk around the block will help a lot you need to get those feel good endorphins working in your brain and drink a lot of water when we drink we are constantly dehydrated and this makes us feel very poor. Congrats on a week That is fantastic ! lesa
Great to discover this thread. I stopped drinking 8 weeks ago. I have been a drinker for 35 years - until I stopped I was downing around 7 pints of lager a day, 5 days a week, every week. I am male and if it makes any difference I am only 5 foot tall and weigh 7.5 stone - so I am told the amount I drank was alot for someone of my size?
I used to get home after drinking 3 or 4 pints and sleep all afternoon, then wake and drink another 3 pints.
I blamed the sleeping above on the drink - but now I have stopped I am tired - usually comes on around 3pm and then I sleep for an hour.
I am virtually constantly thinking about drinking - and people around me don't seem to think I have a problem as they did not see all that I drank.
I was worried before I read this thread as I did not expect to be so tired after 8 weeks - but perhaps it is normal.
One thing I have noticed though - when I go to bed at night I sleep much better than I did when I drank!
Almost daily I think that if I have a drink I will feel better - but then I know I will not so keep perservering.
Just hoping the fatigue and the thoughts will go soon.
In 2 weeks (29th June) I have to have a DVLA medical. I was (and still am tbh) angry that I have to have a medical as I refused to give a specimen (automatic medical following 2 year ban). In my alcohol deluded mind they didn't know if I had a problem or not yet those who get 'done' for actually proven drink driving don't have to do a medical unless they are over around 80mg. That aside, I refused because I was drunk. This has been a humiliating and long deserved comeuppance.
My drinking habit has evolved over the past 20 years. My daughter is 17. I never drank whilst pregnant (tried wine once and felt so yuk). My poison is wine. Recently I was drinking a wine box (4 bottles) every other day. I could start at any time of day if not working. Often I would get complaints at work (am a teacher) that I smelled of alcohol. Once I even got drunk at lunchtime and left school early stating I was unwell. Shame is something I have battled with continuously as a result of my drinking. Reckon the shame is a cycle which comes both from the drinking and the reality of knowing I can't face up to the reality of the aftermath without blotting it out.
I didn't used to be a selfish person. Drink makes me selfish - unable to pay for my daughter's school trip on time but easily spend £15 on a winebox. Am sure that is probably a familiar story but it doesn't make it any more acceptable.
Every year I do DryJanuary and Stoptober. Each time I feel fantastic. Euphoric at times about the 'new me' and proud to bits. My daughter loves it. Only trouble is I then feel I can start again with the strength to drink only when it is appropriate and to the normal limit. Each time, I relapse. The last time I decided on Cannabis to prevent me drinking so much. It actually does work for me as I drink half as much, but the Cannabis intake rose instead.
Anyway, I am having to detox because I desperately want my license back. I can picture readers shaking their heads at this. Not having a license has made my drinking increase over the past 2 years because I no longer need to worry about being unable to drive. Boredom and social isolation has increased too which doesn't help.
As part of getting my license back I did the Alcohol Awareness course. Boring and certainly not informative. WE ALL KNOW we shouldn't be driving if we are heavy drinkers, tbh the course just reinforced that.
So, I am now on a detox mission. Have been sober for 10 days now. No longer take cannabis or alcohol. Have purchased milk thistle (twice a day) and liver function tests (not used them yet). In the evenings I keep researching all the information I can possibly find to steer me in the right direction. Am KNACKERED and sleep easily 10 hours a day. I don't feel tired most of the time like I have read here, but googled 'Why am I so tired since giving up alcohol?' and became really fascinated with this forum. This is why I felt I should also add to this discussion.
The first 3 days were hard. Nightmares, smelly sweat, constipation then diarrhea. Foul breath. Hot and cold flushes. Having done it all before I knew what to expect. I don't know if my attitude to the amazing tiredness before bed is delusional because I actually welcome the tiredness. To me it feels like my liver is now finally able to concentrate on doing all the jobs it was meant to do before I forced it to focus on the immediate threat of alcohol poison. I may be talking without real knowledge but surely once it is able to start getting rid of the glycogen and fat stores it must be rushing to do it knowing it hasn't got much time until it's unable to do so again (i.e. alcohol will be stopping it again). It helps me to imagine that's the case.
This time I have been experimenting with all the recommended remedies. I have invented my own concoction which should either kill or cure me! It gives me a kind of a heated, mild burning kick as I drink it and (aside from the fact is is non alcoholic) I find it cures the urge to drink alcohol (for me). The only downside is that my appetite is lowered and I do have to force myself to eat at times.
I mix turmeric, cayenne pepper with herbal lemon and ginger tea. It IS different to drink, but the warming feeling reminds me of spirits (without the financial or physical cost). I like it.
Am also taking Milk Thistle twice daily. Whether it's a coincidence or not, my night sweats have finally disappeared. So have the day sweats and the horrible instant sweat I have become used to whenever doing anything physical.
Does anyone else find their energy levels and productivity have increased tenfold? Perhaps that's why we are all so tired? My concentration has also improved. I was struggling to respond to students but that is much improved. My garden is better than it has been in 6 years. Please God let me be able to remember all these benefits when I feel I am 'in control' again and think of having alcohol. I still want to be able to drink occasionally. Drinking just brings on so much cognitive dissonance doesn't it?
Ladies will know the benefits of stopping. I have thread veins on my cheeks. I have red spots on my chest. I have scars all over my body from being clumsy through drink. I can't get rid of the scars, but the redness has definitely calmed (not disappeared). My gums don't bleed anymore. Even my hair feels softer, as does my skin. My eyes are whiter and brighter. I don't worry about getting close to people (used to worry about smelling of alcohol). I take baths most nights to feel cleaner and virtuous! My daughter and I spent last week online shopping for new clothes. Spent £70 (soberly ... not the stupid uninhibited purchases of drunk me). Realised today that my bank account has barely changed in 10 days. Have got really into coconut oil (I eat it, put it on my skin and use it in cooking) and feel my skin (particularly on my face) looks smoother and fresher.
Never have liked drinking water, so I still need to get that hurdle crossed. Am not majorly overweight (size 12, 5 ft 6) but my measurements across my ribcage and just beneath have decreased by 4 cm. There are very few downsides really. Except my fear of relapse. I know I will manage until the 29th, I just want to be normal for life not just a few weeks at a time. Aside from the tiredness (and have stated my attitude to that), I feel great.
One more thing I would like to relate is that this terrible problem is very common. People who hear of my experience suddenly come out of the closet to me and confess that they also have/had a problem. Some of my acquaintances also lost their licenses years ago but it's not polite conversation is it? Just today a male friend gave me a lift to the supermarket and he purchased some milk thistle. Surprisingly he'd had a medical 3 years ago and failed the liver test part. His doc gave him tablets but no after test, since then he still drinks heavily and spends all his money on booze. Only after our discussion did he realise how much money he spends.
I sincerely wish all of us the strength and continued awareness to beat this humiliation. Would dearly love to feel some self esteem.
Am hoping to be posting back on here having passed my medical. I want to be able to look back on my post in 6 months being a normal, average person who has overcome the psychological equivalent of climbing Everest. That would be great. What would also be great would be my daughter not worrying about her wedding day, my ability as a grandma (eventually). I want her to be proud of me.
Thoughts are with you all.