why is the next 30 days harder than the 1st,crisis last night

[beth7819]

i am so hypersensitive, i use tools tool handle things rather than excuses to use. but last night my son was so awfl to me and  the things he said f..ing ***** i hate you wish yu werent my mom i want my aunt anna i wish she was my mom i hate u i do f...ing care. im trying yall i really am i felt like aunt anna who caddles them leaves them with no with no consequences. i totally remained calm when they left i broke down i feel like she feeds into all his ******** and doesnt realize they are manpulating her she has no kids of her own and she has to be on the same page as me not to undermind me  infront of my kids i feel like i have a plan and i went to a seminar and i learned alot about nolonger being a slave to my children nomore bribing they have to earn things earn what the reward they want like can i go to so and so hs i have to be like what did you d to earn it like the better question will be mom did all my homework here it is   can i go to his house not mom your an f  ing ***** im leavinmg hes only twelve i have  to check on him even at the library cause wasnt doing what he was suppose to he was hanging with girls and on facebook hes twelve i already caught him smoking pot im fighting to break the cycle their aunt doesnt realize shes playing into his bullcrap and he was having a good old fashion fit children do oit when they cant get what they want i needded to give him literally a timeout
well going to jazzersize im late please write me i really use yall for support i have none outside AA and here

[beth7819]

thank you sooooo much i have him in counsling but anna goes with him in the room i was there last visit all three of us. i feel like she gives him this extra attention to feel sorry for himself and i get  frustrated with her because we are setting him up for failure i called his counsler last night after she  took  him with her convincing me to let him go he was having a good oldfashioned fit he needed time out anyway ive been still bummed all day about it thhanx guys oh i wish i had a sister in law to talk to i have yall and a counsler

[Fides_et_Spes]

I agree with sara you need to stand your ground you said you have a plan so stick with it. You definitely should talk to your sis/sis-in-law especially when you are the one who is trying to set the boundaries. I know it seems like you have to play the bad guy but when it comes to your son he needs some boundaries or he will take complete advantage. The language/disrespect and drug use is a definite red flag that he is struggling with some internal issues. I would follow sara's advice and look into some counceling to see if you can help him before things escalate. You are doing great don't be hard on yourself your son loves you, even though it may not always appear that way, he does. Be strong and I will pray for you and your son.

[dominosarah]

Keep standing your ground with your son.  At his age he will gravitate towards the people that dont set any boundries.  They dont like to be told no.  Have you thought about getting him into some counseling?  He has some anger issues not to mention already dabbling in the world of drugs.  I would sit down and talk with the aunt and tell her what is really going on and if she cant abide by your rules then he wont be able to come over.  Raising kids is tough and you have to be on your toes with them all the time.  It can be very draining and frustrating.  So many want to be friends with their kids anymore, they have friends, what they need is parents.  Does he have responsibilities around the house?  Any repercussions when he doesnt follow the rules?  If you give them an inch they will take a mile.  I so remember those days!  My oldest one was he!! on wheels!  It does get better but it takes awhile.  He is testing the waters now so dont let him get the upper hand again........sara