I wrote out a long post to send you, but I reread what OpenMinded24hours said, and i started again and instead am asking the same thing as them.
I lost my son for a spell, and I got him back with a positive attitude and the fellowship and you can too honey~
SOooooo,
1) Are you looking for help?
(because there is help).
2) Are you looking for sympathy?
(because all of us alcoholics sincerely sympathize with you)
3) Do you feel shame? Are you stuck?
(because the fellowship can turn that around for you)
You've reached out and made the first step. The second is up to you.
I'd love to hear from you on private message. My name is Liz, and I'm an Alcoholic. I'm gratefully recovering now, since July 12, 1999 my son's birthday. My husband has the same clean date as myself.
Be in Good Company. That's my greatest advice to you.
I'm sorry you're in such pain, there's only one way to get around that.
Sometimes it's easier to stay drunk to numb the pain than to do what is required. You have a choice, but it is up to you to change. Do it for your kids. They need their mom and DCFS would much rather have them be a part of your life but you have to show them you can handle it. So handle it and leave the drink alone. Be better than this, you can do it. You have already taken the first small step of many and that was when you made this post!
Randy
Is this why they are taking the kids away?
I drank because I'm completely powerless over alcohol. It's an addiction I have. I'm always one drink away from a blackout. I drank if things went well, or if they went bad - I had no choice, I HAD to drink. Every day I drank. Drinking didn't stop me from feeling the way I did, I found it actually "caused" me to feel the way I did, and I just don't mean the hangover.
I didn't think I would ever stop. But I finally did. There is a solution. Are you interested in hearing it??