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How do I get my wife to go to anger management/ marriage counseling?

My wife has always had emotional problems, depression, anxiety etc... I don't know if it's getting worse or if I'm just running out of patience for it.  She has a great life, two healthy children together. We own a home operated family business, so she doesn't have to punch a clock, answer to a boss or even get dressed most days! Her life is very stress free.... until she gets involved with it... almost as if she isn't happy unless she's miserable, if that makes sense.  
   I walk on egg shells around her, and basically try to run my life and our business without involving her as much as possible, but there are of course times when I actually need the person who is supposed to be my partner... Asking her to do ANYTHING sets off a teenager-like response of eye-rolling, aggressive body language and the surliest attitude/demeanor she can muster.  When I call her out on this behavior, she pretends that I'm the ******* because she didn't verbally say anything(as if body language doesn't exist).  I don't know if she doesn't know what she's doing, or if she knows that she's wrong and can't admit it.
    God help me if I have to ask her to do the dishes, laundry or daily chores around the house!  You'd think that I insulted her ancestors or lost the kids college fund!
    I'm not going to pretend that I just sit there and take it as some meek little man. I respond and speak back to her as she's speaks to me.  I have never laid a hand on her, but I cannot say the same for her.  I used to have a rather positive disposition, now I just have quiet times when I'm ignoring her and then there's all the other moments when it's like I'm arguing with a rebellious teenage daughter!  
    There's no way I can get through to her that she is destroying the beautiful life that we have. I have tried passive, I've tried aggressive, I've tried writing notes, texting, forgiveness and forgetfulness! How do I get her to agree to some sort of counseling?  
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Avatar universal
No one can diagnose from here, so my advice just assumes you are correct that she has a mental issue that needs dealing with.
It could be ADHD (or other issues) but only a professional can diagnose her. The 2 ADHD people that I know well instantly flare up when problems arise but deny it then and later - my guess theory is they can't process the issue fast enough to prevent their ADHD from taking over and making them do the instinctive thing. If they dislike someone they instantly flare up when frustrated.
Lots of people with mental issues have anosognosia, so are unable to understand they have a problem. If that is the case, you could have a hard time getting her to accept there is something wrong.
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