Well done you Pamela for your determination to have a peaceful home.
In answer to your question, is to gear the energy of anger, like your old boyfriend, to physical exercise. I find screaming at the top of the voice effective too, but does make the vocal chords hurt. Smashing old plates is good.
If you have lots of frozen pieces of meat that you need to separate, I find that smashing them on the floor with all my might helps too.
When we have a lot of anger, reasoning does not work. If someone you know is angry it is best to leave them alone. That goes for children too.
I am a passive person. It takes A LOT to get me angry. Ordinarily, I will just pop off some snide remark and fall into silence, allowing my anger to dissipate in silence.
Yep, I can take a lot before I "blow a fuse" - which is once in a blue moon. LOL.
I must admit though that I get great satisfaction when I whack the frozen chicken legs that are stuck together on to the floor to separate them. :)
I hear you about the throwing things. There is just something so SATISFYING about the sound of broken glass. Go figure.
The trouble is the mess that has to be cleaned up afterwards! LOL
Hit a yard sale that's about over, ask to have ugly glassware. Get a tarp out. Put it on the kitchen floor. BREAK AWAY! :-)