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Avatar universal

Is yelling normal?

My 48 year old boyfriend of 3 1/2 years has been yelling at me weekly for about three years now.  He always says it's my fault for not listening.  I feel that do listen but just not agree all the time.   Each time he yells, I remove myself from the situation and will only talk to him online because I feel that yelling is never acceptable.  I lived with him for a year but had to move out due to the yelling.  If I left the room he would follow me to another room and continue yelling for an hour or two.

I would love to continue the relationship if he could stop (he is a cool guy in many ways) but I just don't know how to get him to stop?  Any advice?
4 Responses
Avatar universal
I Think you should ask him about his anger issues, and ask him if he's feeling bothered or annoyed from his work, or anything else that might make him angry. Anger is a secondary emotion, which means that, something is causing his anger. He might be going through a difficult time, or maybe had gone through it, and it might have left him with his anger issues and moodiness, and unfortunately, it seems that it is a habit for him to get angry and aggressive. He should be wise enough to manage his emotions,and if he cant, then he should seek a therapist asap, because trust me, anger gets worse over time, and might lead him to get more abusive and passivr aggressive.
134578 tn?1602101550
I don't think he will stop, if he's 48 and this is his pattern.  It sounds like f you asked him to stop, he would either deny he has a problem or simply say he will stop and then not stop.  My neighbor once called the police on her yelling husband and he was still standing there in their front yard yelling when they drove up, ten minutes later.  He always refused counseling, saying everyone else had a problem not him.  She finally got fed up after many years and left.  Should have left him immediately, because he never, ever changed.
Avatar universal
Once you said in your description that he said it's your fault you did the right thing by leaving, good luck
3060903 tn?1398565123
I also agree that leaving was the best and only thing you could do. If he's not willing to access anger management support, i think you have to let him go and move on. There are many cool guys out there for you that don't yell to get their way. or are not so closed minded as to not accept your not agreeing with everything that comes out of his mouth. If you're having difficulty moving on, it's time for you to avail yourself to a therapist. We only know of this one life, so best make the most of it. You've done a great job of it by moving out. Congratulations on making the right move. I'm here if you ever need to talk privately. Liz
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