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Anger Management Community
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Avatar universal

NEED HELP Can't control anger around pets

So I came to this group because I thought people wouldn't judgment here and that I could be open and honest
I need to confess something it's been on my mind for a while and it's really bothering me I know it's wrong
Ever since I was a little kid I have showd aggression towards my pets it makes me feel horrible I've never beat the **** out of animal it's not like that but when I am under huge stress or they make me irritated I do sometimes a lot of the time hit and kick them...yes I know incredibly wrong that is I have been hiding a secret for years and I need to get it out it's extremely disturbing to me that I can't control myself enough to not do that it's horrible most the time I do it without thinking and I feel horrible about it I've done it so many times sometimes I don't even realize that I do it until after  i'm done I've never gone in detail with anyone about this before not even my therapist makes me feel completely horrible like the worst person on the planet

I came here because I just had a son I'm 22 years old and I'm a single mother and I need to learn how to control me I would never in a million years want my son to exhibit any of that kind of behavior or know that I have that kind of problem I really want to learn how to get my anger under control before my son is of age to understand please help me like I said I came here because this is an anger forum and I needed help I really would appreciate it if people have their comments to supportive ones I don't need to be told that what I do is wrong that's why am here

Thanks
4 Responses
Avatar universal
Maybe the best thing to do, if you've tried therapy with a few therapists and all of them have treated you this way, is to get rid of the pets.  Give them away to good homes.  This way, your son will not see you mistreating animals.  It will be hard, I'm sure, as I know you likely love these animals despite what you're experiencing, but think of them and what they need and deserve.  In the meantime, work on anger management classes and such to try to get a handle on controlling that feeling and how you handle it while your son is still young since we all know there will come a time when he will ask for a pet.
Avatar universal
Honestly i have never talked to anyone about this before but i live with my mother right now who happens to be a veterinarian which makes ot about 1000 times worse one of my dogs is scared of me even though i have tried really hard to console her and regain her trust I don't do this all the time but the fact that I do it at all just makes me feel like the worst person on the planet I mean honestly just talking about it makes me feel like I want to kill myself q what I'm really afraid of is that it's going to morph into something more severe like I'm not going to be able to control my anger when my son  gets older and instead of the pets ill start to take it out on him....
1029273 tn?1472235094
Hi, I saw your post and had a few thoughts about it. I'm not judging, just wanted to share with you.
You mentioned that you have/had a therapist, but have never shared this information about your pets w/them ~ I'm just wondering, is it because you don't feel completely comfortable with them, or is it that the reality of facing the problem with your anger really scares you? You've got to be totally honest with your therapist otherwise you're just wasting each others time (mostly yours though) ~ and things won't get any better.
You're a young mom w/ a new baby, which can be very stressful and overwhelming even in the best conditions; since you have issues w/anger plus add in lack of sleep (etc.), this certainly can add more stress to your daily routine. That being said, you may find yourself lashing out more often now than you ever have before ~ now is the time to get the frustration under control before you do something you might regret. Be honest w/ your therapist, or seek out one you are comfortable with, you'll probably be surprised with the positive results you get.  If you're noticing any new symptoms, such as increased depression or anxiety along with the anger, you may want to talk w/ your Dr. about that also (might be postpartum depression?). It's completely treatable, and nothing to be ashamed of...
Good advice from quietgirl:
Have you talked with your mom about maybe finding a home for your pet (s),or is there anyone you can ask to help care for your pet(s) right now? You deserve a break, and so do your pets ~ it doesn't necessarily mean forever...
Take care, and good luck
Suzanne
Avatar universal
Hi!
Just saw this while browsing this website for the first time, and you're not alone hun. I show this kind of behavior towards my cat. I do have a history of physical anger issues, but realizing I have this problem and admitting it has helped me tremendously. I do still hit him, but I don't necessarily see it as a bad thing. I've made big improvements to lessen the swing and not hurt him as bad (I only hit him when hes in trouble). I used to throw my cats against the wall when they upset me, so I'm improving and so can you! The first step is admitting it, talk about it with your therapist. (:
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