how to stop my husband from yelling at me?

[snowchild16]

My husband and I have been together for 7+ years and married for 4 years now and we have a 20 month old son. We are both working professionals. Ever since I have been pregnant, my husband has been yelling at me when he gets stressed out by any situation. If my alarm clock went off and I didn't turn it off quickly enough he would scream at me "TURN OFF THE F****ING THING". When our son was little and woke up at night to feed, he would scream at me if I didn't wake up quickly enough. When our son was sick and had a high temperature, he started screaming at me. Recently he got fired from his job, because he screamed at the HR. This morning our car's battery died and he started screaming at me. My reaction varies between complete confusion, to panic, to sometimes screaming back at him. I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells. After each screaming episode he would not talk to me for a few days and then act as if nothing happened and be overly nice to me. If I dare to bring it up with him, he gets mad at me again. For the past 7 months he has slowly stopped socializing with all our friends, he does not like us going to our friend's place or going anywhere. I'm from another country and don't have any family here. When after one of his screaming episodes I threatened to leave him he said he would take my son away from me. I feel really isolated and depressed. I want to make our marriage work, but I feel like I'm losing my sanity on this roller coaster ride.
How can I stope all the yelling and cursing? I know this is having a very negative effect on my child.

[righttimeandplace]

Snowchild, unfortunately your husband is becoming an abuser.  They start out charming.  Then they become verbally abusive.  They will isolate you from family and friends, which you said he is now doing.  It becomes worse during pregnancy.  And you have said it began then.  The next step for an abuser is to become violent with you to obtain power and control over you.  He will then feel guilt and shame, but still blame you.  The honeymoon part of the cycle will then occur wherein he will be kind to you.  Then when he feels out of control again, he will attempt to control you by yelling, swearing, breaking your things and eventually physically harming you. Make sure you keep none of this from your family and friends.  He needs to know that everyone will know if he harms you as he should not be trying to control you.  If he physically harms you, call the police.  Go to the hospital.  Make sure they take photographs of any bruises.  He will go to jail and while he is in jail you will be able to request of the judge classes for Domestic Violence for him.  These classes have been shown to be 80% effective.  They are more effective if there are not other influences such as drugs and alcohol involved.  A Protection from Abuse order should be in place while he is taking the classes.  Your life is most at risk if you break up with him.  The classes should be in place to let him know you are not being silent, that he needs to be accountable, and that other men know what he is doing.  After he has taken the classes for awhile, you will decide if you want to risk your life or not to take him back.  If you do take him back, tell him if he is attempting to have power and control over you again.  He will need to stop or if he harms you, he will go right back to jail.  This time for much longer, after which you should not take him back and get another protection order.  At this point, you should seriously consider not taking him back.  He has shown that he cannot reform through classes and chooses to abuse.  You can choose not to take it.  Unfortunately, as you two have a child together, he will always have parental visitation and you will always have to have custody exchanges.  You may wish to pay a family based therapy to have custody sessions supervised there with a judge's order.  I'm not foreseeing your future.  I'm telling you the patter that most abuser's exhibit.  Your best bet is to get him to the group now.  If he won't go and you don't want to leave him, you will have to wait until the physical abuse begins.  And based on his pattern of behaviors, I can almost guarantee you, that is the next step for power and control over you.  

[Kelvi]

hello everyone, i am here to share my testimony on how i conceived my baby. i have been married to my husband for 18years without no issue. my husband has been tested and i too have been tested. but no issue. i had problems with my in-laws even my husband started to have new affairs aside our marriage. it was a very terrible thing to bear. i became a laughing stock among my pear, i prayed and fasted and nothing happened. i was now seen as always unhappy. after many medical treatment and there is no way. i took it as i was born barren and i accepted every challenge that comes my way. i was even ready to pack out of my marital home and stay on my own because my husband was not given me any attention that i needed from him. i decided to focus on my job and try to live happy on my own.  
on this faithful day, i decided to check the net for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man who Dr abacha helped his wife to conceive a baby. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mom. words will not be enough to explained what this man did for me. he casted a pregnancy spell on me and i noticed i was pregnant a month later after the spell. i am a happy mother, the pride of my family, a miracle in my town. i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him via email ***@****. This is the solution to every single mother around the globe. distance is not a barrier, he will surely make your dreams come trough. contact him today via email: ***@****, you want your lover back or any other miracle in your life, contact him today so the world can be a better place to live. bye!!!

[jeffjeff27]

jhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

[Classymomma]

Truer words have never been spoken....we all need to remember that it is Not our fault....... Let me guess, does everyone else whose husband yells at them, get along with your mother in law?
Mine says everything is my fault, sound familiar?
Now we know where he gets it from......
Unfortunately, the miserable, depressed angry men, who can't admit their faults And don't seek treatment typically don't change.....of course we rationalize love......but let's face it...this stuff ***** an didn't love!
We deserve better, right ladies?

[wilsonsandy]

I was married to a guy that had issues with anger way before we married. I thought the same thing you did he will change. But he didn't. If I could have gone back and demanded that he take an anger management class  I would have prevented a lot of pain and sorrow. It does take a lot of work to control anger. Sometimes it takes years.

[nasimsaba]

when you get angry you can't be calm and not to yell? is it that hard?