I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist, but part of law enforcement training that I took was a Crisis Intervention class. We studied different behavioral disorders in children. This immediately struck me as a child with "conduct disorder." This is very serious and should not be overlook, denied, or ignored. However, I can understand your husband's reluctance to accept that his little baby girl can possibly be doing these awful things. I will share a bit with you about conduct disorder.
The main characteristic of conduct disorder is misbehavior that is serious, recurring, and unrelenting. There are usually 4 main groups of misbehavior: lying/stealing, destroying property, hurting animals or people, and serious rule breaking. In order to be diagnosed with conduct disorder, the child must have had 3 or more of these serious behaviors in the last year.
It is not uncommon for these children to have learning disorders and/or depression, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), and maybe even Oppositional Defiance Disorder (another less serious - but annoying - behavioral disorder).
These children usually do not handle direct orders very well, and they challenge rules.
Often times, these children, upon brain scanning, show something wrong in their frontal lobe, which helps them in impulse control, avoiding danger, planning, etc. So, even though we may be fed up with them, we must understand that this is beyond their control. It can also be caused by being in a dysfunctional environment. I don't know what life was like for her before you came into the picture, but it's possible that mom and dad had a rough relationship, and that may or may not have affected her.
I would suggest that she goes to see a child psychologist, since, as I stated earlier, this is a serious problem. Hurting animals is NOT at all normal, and it should NOT at all be overlooked. This can indicate some VERY serious issues that can arise as she gets older. She may have a mood or anxiety disorder that is worsening this. If it is detected early and treated early, it may change the course of her entire life. It may not just be therapy for her, but for the entire family.
I really think you should try to find some information on conduct disorder and present it to your husband. Explain to him that you love her so much and you just want her to have a good life. You want to seek treatment for her so that she can maybe avoid some really rough things in life.
I wish you the best of luck. I am sure it is very scary for you, your husband (even though he may be in denial), and the other children.
thank you...everything you put describes her to the T she does all 4 thing all the time but you know even after everything she has done what she did to her sister then the turtle i never expected those....i needed somebody anybody to say it other than me...some times i think when im trying to tell him she needs help i think he puts it off as im just the step parent...so thank you very much.....
I'm sorry but if you think you are going to get an appropriate answer to a problem of this magnitude on MH, I'm afraid you are sadly mistaken. You need to take this child....yesterday....to a professional who can assess which path would be most beneficial in dealing with her most disturbing ways. You need a lot more help than you can get on here. Good Luck to all of you.
Oh...i know...the only resone i did this was to get some one out side of our homes oppinion....i have been trying to tell my husband for the past year that she needs help but he is putting it off as evil step mom ****...so i thought maybe if someone eles...some one we didnt know sed she needed help he would lisen...
The biggest question that comes to mind right away is what happened to her mother, does she see her mother, was there a bad break up between her mum n dad n when did it happen?
You don't need me telling you that this little girl is acting out very disturbing mental issues, she needs to be seen by a child psychiatrist asap, before she manages to succeed in hurting her younger siblings. She is showing signs of psychopathic tendenices, so please get her seen.