Anger Management Community
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Avatar universal

why am i so irritable and angry .then happy and away with the fairys

im a stay at home mother of three beautifull children ,i live with their dad .Our life on a whole is acturally really lovely ,we do find it a strugle to find things to do with not much money but we pay all our bills so i hav eno money stress i have lovely good friends and a realy nice mum who i get on really well with .I take my children to playgroups parks we go walking and to be fair i belive we eat a healthy diet .
The problem i have is that im so so very irritable and angry all the time ,my partner is on the reciving end of it alot .
Everything makes me irritable ,noise ,mess i never feel percived or listend too .Some times i feel angry and lonely and to be honest like a failier i know im not one i do voulentry work at the local community center i get told by people all the time that im like a breatch of fresh air in there but at home i dont feel like that at all i hate being in my own company and get quet anxious when theres no other adults around.
My children are 4 ,3 and 16 months old .ive had visists from my health visitor because i contacted her because i was bursting in to tears and felt bewildered but it only lasts about 2 weeks then i feel fine again id go as far as saying i feel high as a kite some weeks full of ideas and itching to do the next thing availible i swing from fantasticy sunny to  feeling really odd.
i do analise myself alot so ive made notes and tryed aromatherapy eating healthaly and exercising and walking more .is this how life is suposed to be ??up and down and so irritable and i shout alot at times i feel so guilty afterwards it makes me feel like a bad person my dad was a bully and never had a good word to say about me i dont want to be like him an agressive bully that dosent listen to any one .i stopped drinking too as i thought this would help ,it has a bit i diont get hang overs and i do feel better for not doiing that for about 5 months now .maybe im thinking its just the way i  am stroppy my partner says i have a split personality and it scares him ive never hit anyone but i have run upstairs and screamed into a pillow and pulled my hair out in anger i would never hurt any one theres so much pain in the world without me adding to it dose anyone have any idea what it is that makes me this way or a methord  of controlling myslf . sorry it is long xx
7 Responses
924126 tn?1253204265
I am in the same boat. Althoe my husband of only two years left me.
He was a big drinker. I drank with him a (few) to relax with him.
I'd get irritated and it all gets crazy *you know.
So I went to the doctor and said i didnt want to loose my husband.
He used my anxiety, depression, failure feelings against me and never came home one night....
Hes been gone 2 months. I havnet talked to him live on the phone. He's texted me drunk. Why talk to him in a drunken state. He never remembers what he did or said the next day.
So...... are you taking anything?
I was against meds FOREVER.
I finally got put on wellburtin to lift my spirits. (keeps my energy leval up) im not singing in the shower!
I have Depoke to keep me getting out cold depressed.
Enjoy life, we cant control whats happening in our brians.
I love this site......
I'd love to chat more
535822 tn?1443976780
You are like many Moms you are feeling uncared for, and frustrated,all day you look after the children and I know you love them and you are glad you do it, but you still have YOU, personally I think you need more time for you, and you and your Husband together, you should make a regular date to go out and some down time just for you, I doubt very much that you have any disorder or illness but it is always good to get it checked out, it seems to a pattern that we all lash out at the nearest one when we are stretched and need to vent, well its good you have come here you can start a journal and vent here like a lot of us do.You know I learnt one thing that it is always our thoughts that make us feel bad, so dont let those negative thoughts get in the way.when you feel angry /upset distract your self, play some music ,whats that they say Music soothes the savage beast 'take a deep breath, think of something wonderful,and dont forget make time to relax.
Avatar universal
hi, i truly understand the moms that get so irritable and frustrated by always taking care of the kids, house, husband and feel so lonely and misunderstood sometimes, i would cry sometimes actually a lot recently, and desperately needing some help from my husband with the kids and the house and not getting it, i am struggling with so much to be calm and not to get upset, and be always nice and sweet, but instead i get so so so tired and the help is not coming from anywhere, even my husband better spend time outside smoking and playing his games on the phone, instead of spending time with me and the kids, every time we fight he runs from the house for awhile, going to the bars and whatever,and then blaming me for doing that,like he doesnt feel responsibility for being a parent or a husband, and its sad, i used to so much fun, and what happened to me i feel lonely enough being so far from my family, that is back in Russia, and feeling lonely in this relationship, why do women always have to give so much,,,,,,,,,,
535822 tn?1443976780
You are not alone Angie you have come here to us ,being an Imigrant is vcery hard, I am one I know I still have children back in England they are adults now, and I do go back to visit. So we fill our lives with other things, we do not think too much. Have to sat down with your DH and told him how you feel asked him to help you, perhaps taken yourself out for an evening, join some Moms group.If he is not reciprocal to talking ask him to go with you for counselling so you can have a mediator . I hope you feel better soon,if you are a new comer take a look around at the forums , we also have groups here now,to join you will soon make some internet friends ,folks are wonderful her.PM me if you like to Chat ..Marg  
458072 tn?1291415186
sounds like you might could use some progesterone....Seriously, hormones out of balance causes this exact same thing you described...
Avatar universal
It is very hard being a stay at home mom sometimes. I stayed at home with my children, untill I started working outside of our home.  Men sometimes don't realize how much work it really is to stay at home caring for children all day.  They just know that when they get home they feel like they should be able to relax from their day.  Discuss this with your husband, remember--Mommy's need a break every know and then too.  Take a day for yourself, go window shopping, out with a freind, anything to take time for yourself.  Plus a day with the kids alone will help your husband realize how much you actually do during the day.
Avatar universal
I have been trying to research why I am so irritable and I don't cry all the time, but I am really sensitive.  I am not a stay at home mom, but I am a mother of a 2 year old and trying to balance work, motherhood and time for my husband.  I do feel that I am OCD....I clean all the time and I feel that if my husband helps me, I have to re-do what he just cleaned.  I have these crazy outbursts sometimes....it's hard to explain, but I always take things the "wrong" way and I freak out.  When I freak out, I cry.  My boss can't even tell me that I did something wrong (tackfully) b/c I become very defensive and get mad and then of course, I cry.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  I have a great husband who does pitch in a hand every day, but yet, I sometimes just feel alone.  I have a lot of friends, but yet, I always feel like someone is talking about me behind my back (for no reason)  See, this all just seems crazy right?  I do have a doctor's appointment next week and I don't know even how to explain all this.  I am irritable, I have these outburst where I will just blow up at my husband over stupid things.  The main problem is I tell him he doesn't love me like he did 5 years ago (which he does) but it's like I always start a fight between us....I know it's not normal.  He tells me he feels like he is walking on egg shells when he gets home until he finds out what kind of "mood" I am in.  Does this make me a crazy person? Or have some kind of chemical imbalance or anxiety?  I have problems sleeping at night too.  It's like I can't ever shut off my brain and I continuiously think about what is going on in the next week or replay some of my bad outburst in my head.  I always know after my husband and I fight, that I started it (mostly 90% of the time anyway) and I feel so bad about it.  He is always so understanding and when I finally told him I made an appointment in regards to this, he was very supportive.  I don't know what is going on w/me but hope I get answers soon!  Thank you for letting me vent!
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