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1206408 tn?1304391353

Am I really bulimic ?

reacently i broke up with my boyfriend, my parents are getting a divorce, im failing most my classes, i have a pre-existing bi-poloar disorder, and now i think i may be bulimic. i dont know much about bulimia cept that you throw your food up to lose weight.
but im my case i dont hink thats the problem ... i dont really care about loosing weight.. the reason (i think) is low self-esteem... my mother is always telling me to look better , thinner , more presntable. but its not just a you look bad so fix it . its a you need to be perfect every minute of the day even when youre going to bed! ( honestly , i could care less if i didnt do my hair before i went to bed) so that may be one factor
another thing is the boyfriend, that made me depperesd and fast, i lost interest in everthing.
but for the past 3 weeks or so i have been trying to eat less and less .. then when i cant stand it any more i binge.... i try not throw up but sometimes i just have to ... i hate myself when i eat... i feel like ive dissapionted someone...
i dont know if i am really bulimic cuz i feel like i can control it.. ( possibly my mind telling me that i can )
but any advice would be greatly apreceated:)
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