I need help/advice, really am lost

[joshua883]

My girlfriend has been funny with food, eating around people or carrying anything with food in it since I have meet her. She has also been in hospital in the past for 6 months recovering from anorexia. She has a long mental health history and is now 20 and is reluctant to speak with anyone about anything. A little over a month ago she started becoming more secretive with food not eating at all even in front of me. I caught her out a few times on not eating and having pretended she was. Once she made a sandwhich when I was out and told me she had eaten and I found the dog had regurgitated the whole thing outside on the path she denied it but I could see it was hers as she had left a bite on a plate to show me she had eaten that night I noticed as she got up she had put all her food down her boots and hidden it. Now the past month she has not eaten once. She was more energetic at first and happy and wanted to run around and do more than usual. I tried talking to her on many occasions telling her I was worried she needed to eat but she said if I tell anyone or force her to eat she will have to leave me because this is what she wants. The last couple weeks she has been very moody and less energetic but she has been obsessed with cooking for me and my family and is constantly asking me if I need more food or what I want for dinner the day before she plans it. But she will not eat and she is losing weight and getting thinner. She said to me she is fine and that her body can deal with it she needs to lose weight she is too fat but she is getting thinner and thinner and she has not gone to the toilet in at least 2 weeks. She gets angry easily and defensive and will just say she is going to sleep if I try and discuss it with her. She is not talking to her family much anymore and not socialising much, she has cancelled alot of her work days and constantly complaining her mouth is dry and she just wants to sleep. She is not talkative she is very distant

[Patricia Pitts, PhD]

What you write is classic symptoms and behaviors of one getting more and more into the depth of their anorexia.  Isolation and depression are also common features.  What you need to do is ask yourself what keeps you in this relationship.  Her threat of leaving the relationship is really her eating disorder talking.  By you choosing to stay in the relationship or not do an intervention to ask her to get help, you are actually colluding with her to stay ill and keep yourself stuck and controlled by her anorexia.  Seek out a support group for family/friends or therapy for yourself.  The only person any of us can change is ourselves.  To learn more about anorexia and treatment options, visit the bella vita website.  Best, Dr Patricia Pitts  Los Angeles, CA

[estrella29]

cook food for her and plan a romatic dinner at home at least ones at week . she will eat even if you dont know how to cook.try to be romatic....then wait one or two week  and tell her how important is for you her heatlh and that u love her and blah ,blah.....try to be supportive  and the most important start sayin the you lover the way she is thats why u are with her and want her to be healthy .

[Atoli]

ohmg!! :( oh dear.. oh dear.. you really really need to help her or eles she will not stay alive for long time :(  and ill try to help you ^^
why dont you try to take her out and make her feel your love?? like tell her that you loved how she looked like before when she was healthy talk to her about it and try to take herout for dinner? like for example yhu could say, why dont you rest today and ill invite yhu for dinner n yhu can eat as much as yhu can with me dear.. and yhu  should be sure she eats infront of yhu ~  its verry important and make her eat chocolate and candies it will help :) yhu should know that all the anorexic people think about is food
thats whyshe cook to make her need for food get less.. talk to her more about how beutiful her skin looked like before she became thin. and make her feel yhu will always love her nomatter  what.