Unsure Eating

[mcull]

Well, I am 18 years old and I weight around 110, but my weight fluctuates constantly. I was anorexic starting when I was 13 or 14. Bulimic when I turned around 16. Currently I wouldn't classify myself as either of those. I don't think I am fat. But now I have an awful relationship with food. I can't eat in front of people I don't know, it makes me uncomfortable. Food now disgusts me. I used to be SUPER healthy but now the only things I can stomach are foods that taste good but offer no nutritional value. I find myself not eating all day then getting shaky and finally eating a meal late. When I'm upset or angry I won't eat at all. Lately I have a lot of anxiety and depression-just starting college, found out my dad cheated on my mom, and my boyfriend dumped me all within 3 months. And my eating has gotten worse- the food at school is awful and I have just stopped eating really. I now have stomach problems- it feels like there is so much acid in my stomach and it burns. There's always a constantly slight pain in my stomach and sometimes it hurts so bad that I can't move and crawl into the fetal position for an hour til it subsides.  I think my eating has something to do with control issues? I really don't know. I don't seem to fit into any classification but I know that what's going on isn't right. Please help me!

[Patricia Pitts, PhD]

Wow - you have a lot of stressors!  Stress can easily precipatate eating disorder symptoms.  Even though you do not know how to classify your eating disorder at this time, it is not necessary.  Since you are in college, I would recommend that you go to the college health center to check on your physical concerns and seek counseling from the school's counseling department.  Since eating disorders can be as high as 20% on college campuses, many colleges have specialists in eating disorders.  Eating disorders are quite complex.  They are genetic, psychological, social and spirtiual disorders.  They can seemingly even disappear at certain times in individuals lives.  And then come back with a vengance!  You could visit the bella vita website to learn more about eating disorders.  Wishing you the best in addressing your current struggle!  Dr Patricia Pitts  The Bella Vita  Los Angeles, CA

[mcull]

Thank you for your help. I feel like the only thing I can do is talk to someone about it. But I've never been one to go and seek help from other people for things. I was more interested if there was anything I could do on my own. I've started forcing food down my throat even though it makes me gag. I'm just trying to get my stomach used to having normal meals in there but it's hard. Is there anything else I can do? I don't feel comfortable  going to someone. I feel kinda stupid..after reading other people's posts I've realized I don't have it as bad as other people so I feel dumb going to someone to complain and seek help when other people have it worse. Lately I've had some anxiety and depression so I think that might be the cause of it getting worse? Thank you so much!!!