helping a friend...

[sweetpea03]

I am really worried about my friend who is anorexic. She does not eat breakfast or lunch and only eats dinner because her parents force her to eat. She tells her parents that she eats lunch, but rarely does. I have tried to talk to her about it, but she only gets upset. I sometimes bring extra food and tell her "I can't finish it and don't want it to go to waste" just to make her eat something. I don't know what I can do to help her and don't want to lose our friendship over this. She is so constantly worried about her weight and she is very thin. She recently gained a couple pounds and freaked out. Now she's eating less and working out constantly. I really want her to get some help. what can I do about this to help her?

[Buffheart]

What is more important, losing her friendship, or losing her life? Tell her parents, family, counselor, anybody that can help her. They need to be aware of what is going on. She needs acute medical attention now!

[Patricia Pitts, PhD]

Dear sweetpea03,
As a friend, she may get angry at you for taking more steps.  However, in the long run she will most likely be grateful.  The symptoms you speak of does sound like your friend needs professional help.  She obviously is the only one who can address her issue.  You can support getting her help.
Since you have tried speaking to your friend, the next step is speaking to adults.  It’s helpful to get one of your parents onboard to help.  If you are in school together or a group together, speaking to a counselor or leader can help.  The goal is to alert her parents to some of the concerns and support professional consultation from an eating disorder therapist.  An adult can work with you to inform her parents of her behaviors and symptoms.  Addressing your concerns with kindness and care will go far.
If you are interested in learning more about anorexia, visit the bella vita website.
Best,
Dr Patricia Pitts
The Bella Vita
Los Angeles, CA