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2 month hiv & std anxiety

I have been tested for hiv 1 Elisa 2 combi test 2rapid test for on week 2 week 4 week 8 on my last massage activity . I have been to massage many many times with handjob French kissing body rubbing anus fingering sucking nipple . doc told me no need to test anymore and he just recommend to test every 6 month for health check purpose . but I cant move on . I still paranoid when I got molluscum in my genital . I feel myself got a lot of bacteria and virus . every time I want to move on will have new thing pop out . recently I afraid I caught syphilis  from the exposure . I go and tested and negatives . then I thought my antibiotic for fungal cause false negatives . now I dunno what to do . my gf now got few pimples near her public area . did I infect her anything ? we nvr sex for 6 months . she just handjob me . I have ask the doc whether the swab test detected I got gonorrhea or chlamydia he say no . but until today I still can't forgot it . I m on depression medicine but it's seem not working . I only sleep 4 hours for 2 months already . anyone can advise ? many things happen recently . I no desire to sex anymore .
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Avatar universal
I suffer from similar anxieties, all started when I got a sore in my mouth and a doctor sent me to lab for syphilis and hiv testing. Both negative and I was told that the sore was because of stress and it did heal by itself eventually but that incident caused some sort of trauma in me. Now I'm checking my body all the time if there are some signs of any std, mostly I'm afraid of syphilis. I recommend you to talk to a specialist, some doctor who really knows about stds and could give you the correct information. Besides talking to a doctor can really help. I think that way you could get rid of your fears because they are irrational, just like mine.
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Avatar universal
Read this book, the Hypochondriac's guide to Life and Death. Your mind is trying to get a disease that your doctor says you can't have, so you need to come to grips with your hypochondria.
http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0684856484/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=485327511&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0684852802&pf_rd_m=A3DWYIK6Y9EEQB&pf_rd_r=0DXXVYZDDQ0BQE02R7JB
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Avatar universal
every morning wake up in panic and guilty. suffer for 2 months . what I need to do ...
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Avatar universal
Uh, I know the feeling :( Why don't you get tested once more which for sure will be negative and then you should talk to a psychologist. The panic is caused by your guilt, no medical reason to panic as one doctor already has told you. You need to deal with the guilt coz you can't panic forever. Take care!
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Avatar universal
Thank you :)
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Avatar universal
I just want to fight with this panic but I dunno how . I'm normal at evening but turn moody panic depress in the morning and afternoon . I dunno how yo fight it ...
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Avatar universal
The last thing sterized needs to do is go for another useless test. It is already proven medical science that there is no HIV but for unknown reasons he wants to think he has a disease. Panic and anxiety are not simple problems to dispense with, but facing reality is easier, so no need to waste your time discussing the same science with doctors again.
Sterized, the panic can't stop until you come to grips with the fact you do not have a physical problem. Did you know the human body is comprised of 10 trillion cells and is host to 100 trillion bacterial cells? 91% of your cells are bacteria so there is so many processes going on all the time that your feelings of being dirty are really focusing on one piece of bacteria that you can't have so it is not even there.
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Avatar universal
You say what to do? You need to read the book (or read up on hypochondria) and understand you are a hypochondriac but don't need to be. You can probably cure yourself if you just think about the reality - which is the docs know the science but you don't so it is illogical that you think you can provide the best diagnosis.
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Avatar universal
i think im guilty for what i have done.. I will try to read the book. i hope times can slowly make me forgot all my bad things i have do...
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Avatar universal
You need to figure what the problem is, guilt or fear of a disease? If you can't sort it out, maybe see a counselor for help.
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Avatar universal
guilt and fear of the disease.. My mind been full of hiv info for 8 weeks. i just want to know how to not thinking it..
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Avatar universal
Until you accept the reality that you have no experience in diagnosis and testing and no scientific training, then improvement can't occur. There is no logic in your fear, so you need to switch to logic and figure who is the boss. I can't help you any more so it is up to you to do some thinking about this.
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Avatar universal
One last thing to think about. When you get on a plane do you think the pilot doesn't know how to do his job (even though he has flown thousands of times before) so I have a fear he will crash because I know more about flying than he does? Same with your idea that you know something about diagnosing that your doc can't understand.
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480448 tn?1426948538
You never had a risk for HIV. HIV anxiety is an all too common problem.  If you cannot accept that you never had a risk, and that you don't have HIV, I would recommend seeking professional help in the form of therapy, to help you work through your anxiety.

Good luck to you.
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Avatar universal
Hi nursegirl,

One last question. Izzit not risk for syphilis also?
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Avatar universal
does the skin from syphilis positive ppl and rub on my skin I can get syphilis ? or only chancre is infectious ? u see any1 got syphilis from skin rubbing ? I have body to body massage but she is topless with pants.
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Avatar universal
Your answer to leprosy is the answer to your own question about syph too. Stop inventing diseases that you don't have.
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Avatar universal
ok thanks birdie . I just can't stop thinking about it . I will seek therapy for this . I just want to know is there a risk from my exposure for syphilis . I read on net that it can infect by skin to skin contact . I really scare ...
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Avatar universal
The human body is comprised of 10 trillion cells and is host to 100 trillion bacterial cells. Bacteria is everywhere in you, so get used to it and realize all that bacteria in you hasn't done anything to you all your life.
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Avatar universal
ok so  I should move on and forgot bout it ?
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480448 tn?1426948538
You don't have a risk for anything by rubbing...please, get yourself some help.
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Avatar universal
Ok thanks nursegirl. How about my anus being finger? will i contact any STD like chlamydia, gonorrhea,syphilis or hiv?
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Avatar universal
Hi Nursegirl,

I coming here to say thanks. I have been better this week. My mind back to normal . And all the correct logic came back. Thanks for your help.

Cheers.
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