I'm 21 years old and have made myself to belief i am an "AIDS child". Each day when i go to sleep i feel a pain which is totatlly wired. I have had the worst flu' f my life back in december and i was going to se my doctor. I have talked to my socalled fiance on the phone throught this chole process. I was wondering why i ate much, but did not gain weight. I was having dry coughs, and had this flu' like for 3 weeks. At this time i was at my family's place, and went back home to my place which is about 100 miles away, where i study to become school teacher. When i returned back to my place my friends where worried about my health, and my mother still kept on calling me. I promised myself i would go to the doctor the very next day i came home. I kept on talking with my fiance on the phone, and told her i was going to the doctor the very next day. WHEN i told her this, she told me she had something to say. She told me she could not tell me on the phone. I was outside bying groceries and stuff and therefore she told me it was best for me to be at home and wait for her to send me a message with whatever she had to say. I thought to myself what i could be, she might be pregnant she might be something or something, since she could not adress the issue on the phone. When i got home and i told her i was home, she told me through a message that she had HIV. My whole world crashed called her immediately crying as soon i saw the message. I called the emergency medical service up. Told them i can be infected with HIV, they told me go to your own doctor, you dont die throught the night and be with people which can calm you down. I went to my doctor the next day, and rang them up at the morning and told them i needed and HIV test. I forgot all the symptoms why i was about to present to them, which my Fiance knew i was going to present to them, and there she might new that i was about to get the message that i was HIV positive anyways so she told me the day before i was about to go to the doctor ( this was mindset). The doctor told me i was HIV negative i was happy and told her i was lucky. But i still though hmm i must have this disease because i feel so bad and i looked the symptoms of this disease up. I took a test 4 weeks later turned out negative too. I took a test two other places and they turned out negativ too. I was obssed with my CD4 + CD8 count, because i was thinking maybe im an AIDS child, and that she must have contracted this from me and that the virus is known in my body and my body does not make antibodies against this virus. I got to my GP and she told me that if these count turn out to be that of a healthy person I had to go to the psychiatri. What i knew what if these counts where below 400 i had something wrong with me, and if they where under 200 i had a count which is defined as AIDS. I accepted this invitation, in hope that if these counts where low and that i was right it would show in these final test. The test came back, a test which here in Denmark where i live only is giving to HIV positive people because it is so expensive. My CD4 count was 1400, which meant that i was more than healthy and i lossed my mind. i though well how could it be possible. I had my tounge covered with fungus, my hands used to rash, yet know they are fully rashed and rashing another time. My head is heavy and red eyes all the time. My teeth bleed every time i brush them, and i can just feel pain in my whole body specially my left arm. My nails are hardened and all these symptoms seem to evolve. My family is worried. im worried. The GP gave me diagnosis Hypocondirac and going to speak to me about it this upcomming week. Could this be anxiety? is my GP right about this or could there be a case of a rare AIDS. The fact of the matter is my fiance got the one disease after the other after we been together. This keeps running through my head day in and out. When i look at the mirror i tell myself. "Aids child, its okay the pain is over soon."