Anxiety, Panick Attack, Stressed

[EmiliV]

I have suffered for the last 6 years with anxiety. After my first child was born I had a postnatal depression and but I wasn't treated. After that i had an anxiety all the time. I had two psychologists but after seeing them 3/4 times I stopped. I felt even worse after a visit.
So six years later i still have a panic attacks/ anxiety. At the moment i feel like crying all the time. I sleep only 4 hours. I have palpitations and I'm panicking every time a have to go to sleep. I would be sleeping and suddenly wake up in the middle of a night with anxiety. As well I suffer from health anxiety (I googled it) Im always worried that something is wrong and i visit gps all the time.
In past 6 months i had couple of blood tests, hear ultras, holter monitor, MRI, eye test, breast ultrasound...
My husband is like why you stressing, you have to stop!!!? I stress about everything. I have to add that i have two beautiful, healthy kids who are 6 and 3. Im in such a bad mood that i don't want to do anything, i feel sorry for my kids. When I'm anxious I scream at them and that breaks my heart.
I don't have friends, i don't go out, i don't do anything for myself. Im always with the kids. All my friends (i have maybe 2) are working or busy. Its been maybe 4 months I talked to anyone except my husband or parents in person. I feel ****, sometimes i want to talk to someone other than my husband but i don't have anyone.
I started seeing a therapist 2 months ago, i had 6-7 sessions but i still can't see any improvements.
I go to bed at about 11/11.30pm but I find it hard to fall asleep and that when i finally do i wake up suddenly with a panic attack. Im shaking, my chest is thigh... My therapist said i don't have any "mental issues" i just can't relax and I'm stressing too much and we have to work on it. But my GP said i have chronic anxiety and i need medication.
Im really stressing over everything when my kids are fighting, when they don't listen I'm like full on stressed. I don't want to feel like this, I'm really tired and exhausted. My heart rate goes up and I think that I'm having a heart problems. I went to emergency 3 months ago with the panic attack and they did blood test and ECG as well and everything was good. When to see cardiologist, they did ultrasound and everything looks normal. I had blood test again this week and all good.  I don't know what else to do. I even started yoga, i went twice and is so bloody hard lol and I'm having trouble with "breathing" and relaxing while doing it and meditation on the end is driving me crazy. I started taking vitamin D and magnesium yesterday.
Im really sorry for a very long post. Thank you for your advices I really appreciate it.

If anyone can give me some advice or recommendations I would be very grateful.
Thank you

[crooked_nest]

You sound a lot like my mother. She suffered from severe depression and anxiety and would lash out at myself and my siblings. She got help with therapy and medication, so she is doing significantly better now. Definitely find yourself a therapist who you feel understands you. They should not doubt your feelings. I have enough anxiety to get in the way of living normally and I was denied treatment from a psychiatrist who insisted I could not have anxiety because I /wasn't harming myself./ Needless to say, he didn't work out. You sound like you do have a lot of anxiety and maybe a separate panic disorder along with your depression.
To get better, you MUST see a psychologist, just not necessarily the first one you see. I have had two psychologists who worked for me. My old psychologist was just someone to talk to and offer advice, but my new psychologist has a different approach, cognitive-behavioral therapy and setting goals to reach one at a time. This works for me as well. Find what and who works for you. Maybe even try group therapy. As someone with very severe social anxiety, I can tell you from experience, it's not as bad as you think as long as you find the right group for you.
Even more importantly though, go to a psychiatrist. Vitamin D and magnesium might help you, but they aren't made specifically to treat mental disorder. After my bad experience with a psychiatrist, I was terrified of taking medication for fear that I would end up hurt. But again, it turns out you just need to find the right psychiatrist, someone who listens to you. Getting the right medication is trial-and-error, but the chance that it helps you remain in control is SO WORTH IT.
A side note: yoga is a good idea! If you don't like it, try some other form of exercise. Exercise helps. Eating healthy also helps, but I don't recommend trying it if the hope for an unhealthy treat after a hard day helps keep you going. Maybe try avoiding foods that cause inflammation? Inflammation in certain parts of the brain has been linked to emotional disorders in some instances, so it's worth a shot.
Please at least keep trying, if only just for the sake of your children. Good luck finding the right treatment for you!