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2019697 tn?1334153847

Anxiety Self Taught conditon

anyone ever think that anxiety is something we place on ourselves? something we have learned to do to ourselves. I have had many anxiety attacks over the years. Just recently I have documented these attacks and also wrote down things I remember from the past. Doing this helps me sort out any questions I have about the causes and duration of the episode.

I've often wondered if the one psychatrist and the two Pyschologist I've seen over the past 30 years (and it wasn't for long that I saw them) misdiagnosised what might be wrong with me. Its just a thought but like all with anxiety, I question.

I look over the internet (i know wrong thing to do) for symptoms of over mental illnesses. Scitzphrenia and bipolar disorder scare the crap out of me. I think if I had one of these illnesses they would have picked up on it quickly. all of my symptoms fit the anxiety profile.

but I have noticed that I have brought on alot of my attacks while in the "cycle". I can make myself fear something just by thinking of it. I can make myself seemed lost with nowhere to run. I can worry myself sick to the point of getting numbness in my arms and legs. How powerful an imagination and mind. Its almost like I am afraid of myself.

All the while this is going on "in my head" I carry on like normal. somedays are good and some I am an internal mess. The point I am trying to make here, besides venting off, is that imaginations and minds so powerful, we have the ability to stop these cycles of fear. That is what it all is, fear of fear. everything else that follows is a result of the fear we have.

A few weeks ago I had a "mini" panic attack in my sleep. don't know why or how but it was there. I dont routinely get these either. After that mini attack, I was in the watch out mode. Waiting for the net one. I was so shaken by the thought of what happen in my sleep.

Since that night, the little event has turned into a daily battle. pains in my stomach, obsessive thoughts, sleepless nights and the searching for the cause. I made up a chart of all my anxiety attacks over the years and jotted down everything from severity, thoughts i membered, triggers and duration.

The severity varied depending on what triggered it. Same with the duration. Medication has helped shorten durations and even in prevention. I take paxil and xanax at night if I need it. I dont like taking xanax and do it only if necessary.

Getting all this information together, I must say that this malady is something learned, a habbit if you will. Anxiety is humbling and strips the confidence from you. Exercise helps tremendously in building confidence to fight this crap.  I am just throwing this out there to share my experiences with anyone that might find it helpful. I see alot of questions on this forum but not many people saying "hey, this is what happened to me and this is what I've done"

God bless
7 Responses
Avatar universal
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences, we can all learn from each other.  I agree that once our anxiety causes something like a panic attack our fear of it happening again takes over and this then causes another...which creates more fear..which creates another attack.....a vicious cycle.  Breaking this cycle is key, but often very difficult.  Your self observance is wonderful and you know how to control most if not all of it.  I hope you can keep working on what you're doing and hopefully one day be able to beat this.
Avatar universal
Yes u r rite...I had so many occasions where I calmed my self and stop anxiety been coming to me n yes u r rite that I can make myself fear thinking of anythIng,,,n then my head feel pressured my ears rings I have this sunken feeling...but the point is we share Our problems here cz we kno there r millions n millions like us suffering n they kno how to reply this..rather if I write I had a panic attack n I broke the vicious circle then i'll just get appreciation whIch I dnt want cuz I hate being panic I want this to get out from my life my mind n my body
But I really understand what u meant...n it's a struggle everyday
2019697 tn?1334153847
There are long periods (think God) that I am anxiety free. At one point, I was anxiety free for 6 years. Stress definitly triggers the attacks.

My Father passed away a year ago. I thought I was accepting of it as part of the life cycle and moved on. But I had anxiety back in the Fall that lasted a month and about a month ago it started up again only a little more intense. The thing that puzzles me is tht I was exercsing everyday (jogged 50 mile total for the month of January) and I was eating right. I cut out coffee, soda and all junk food. I was feeling great and in a very good routine until this hit me a month ago.

could it be from the loss of my father? i also had some very minor marrital issues that angered me but I have since resolved. I know anger is a no no too.

Although I go to work everyday and to places I HAVE to go to, I get to the point when I am in this cycle that I am afraid to go anywhere. Its all in my head, I know it but the fear kicks in and make it tuff.

Can anyone relate?
Avatar universal
It dose comp make sense...stress,anger,rush to everything,sadness...these all no gud for anxiety n as well as for our health cause in them we put pressure to out heart b brain
How it started a month ago?
Avatar universal
Often we think we have dealt with the loss of a loved one when in reality we haven't.....we've just tucked it neatly away.  When we do this, this event comes back in the form of anxiety and/or depression demanding to be dealt with.  Losing your father is a big loss so make sure you have mourned his loss and haven't been pretending to be okay for those around you.  Men often don't want to show emotion and feel they need to always appear strong, but sometimes this just isn't possible and it's unfair to do this to yourself. I have lost many loved ones and one thing that helps a lot is to journal your feelings and emotions on paper....even if you just toss them away.  This has been proven to be very therapeutic as it serves as a form of release for us.  Force yourself to go places or this could snowball and turn into Agoraphobia and you don't want this to happen.  Anxiety can take control of our lives and we have to fight with all we have to keep our power!  I'm truly sorry about your father.
2019697 tn?1334153847
Mammo, i mourned hard for my father. I was ashamed to show my emotions. I was very concerned the wekk of his passing that I would develop anxiety during his funeral etc. but I didnt. I felt very weird during this time as you would expect.

As time went on, I was sorry about the loss but I felt like I accepted it. When the holidays rolled around, I could feel the lack of his presence and it was strange. I think subconscientously it caught up to me. Eventhough I don't want to go anywhere, i do. sometime cautiously. I have felt this way many times before and overcame it so eventhought I am aware of agoraphobia and worry about it, I dont give into it. If I have a really bad day and I dont feel like going soemwhere, I dont go and start over the next day.

Sagitaritus, I had a couple of big disputes with my wife around mid January. These disputes made me very angry and we argued alot. It was mainly me bringing on the disputes. It was sometime after these outbursts that I began to feel "different". Then Joe Paterno died, an idol of mine, and that week I had the panic attack in my sleep.

I am sure the arguments didnt help in this but the Paterno thing may have been something that reminded me of my Father. I don't know but this anxiety has come out of nowhere this time around.
Avatar universal
You're doing your best to stay one step ahead of your anxiety, keep up the good work!  Often we never know why we have anxiety, we just do and it's very frustrating.  I wish you all the best.
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