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460185 tn?1326081372

Anxiety and Loneliness

For a number of reasons, I find that when I am feeling lonely, my anxiety increases.  I've been dealing with a lot of stresses and am trying to keep myself occupied so I won't feel too lonely.  But sometimes the loneliness is like a bottomless pit and it makes me fearful and anxious.

If you're going to call me an attention seeker, drama queen or other names, please do not respond.  I came here for help, not to be bashed.

21 Responses
Avatar universal
Nobody will bash you. Anxiety can lead to loneliness. I mean we spend most of the time alone. We have isolated ourselves off from people. At times we look around and see all that we are missing out on. Might even sit by a window and see others going out for the night. Be it a couple. Arm in arm. There you may sit alone wondering why you are as you are. You'd love half the chance to be doing what these other people are doing. I, for one, know I have missed out on so much. That was when I stayed in for over a decade. Guess I became set in my ways. Am single. Expect to remain so too. I do go out and about these days. Have got some part of my life back. But there is other parts of it I know I will never get back. I just get on with it. By now I don't even think about it. Well, until I wrote this post. What I don't have I don't miss. Just happy to be able to live as I am living right now. But I hear you loud and clear.
Avatar universal
Yeah, it's tough.  Second MrGreen.  Hard to make friends because I got this stupid thing after moving three thousand miles from home and have been too afraid to go back.  For the most part I just go on, but after a bad Paxil withdrawal have been obsessed with the past, so I think about it a lot now.  I do think that it's the other way around, though, it's the anxiety that makes you feel the loneliness, not the loneliness making you more anxious.  Only way out of it is to force yourself out and about where there are people,but even then, hard to form tight bonds.  We're with you.  Peace.
460185 tn?1326081372
Mr. Green - you sound like you feel some of the way I do.  I'm trying to get some of my existence back but sometimes losses and grief just shatter me.  I keep going and going but would do almost anything I could to find a time machine and go back to the years when I made mistakes with my kids, family and even friends.  Even with a "significant other" (and from Ireland too  lol), I still feel incredible loneliness.

Paxiled - it's so difficult to need anti-depressants and then have them "turn on us".  You think the anxiety makes us feel lonely and not the other way around.  That's an interesting theory.  You're right about forcing myself to get out but to trust and make friends - my best friends are my cats and dogs.

How ironic we can talk to people on the other side of the world but still be lonely.

Avatar universal
What I find we tend to do is build a life around our condition. Things we can do and things we can't do. So over time the condition shapes us. I always wondered would I be into half the stuff I am had I not developed an anxiety condition? Guess I will never know the answer to that question. But a life is a life. That is how I see it. I do live one. Better than not living one at all.
458072 tn?1291418786
I know what you mean. But the strange thing is, for me anyway, is the being alone, just seems to perpetuate itself. Like, it is a cycle that just can't be broken. Don't know if that makes any sense, but that is how it seems to me.

458072 tn?1291418786
I have just gone and read everyone elses post, and basically thats what they were saying, so I guess it does make sense. I just say it more cut and dried.

Mine stems from this hypothyroidism though. I know not all anxiety and mental issues stem from the thyroid, but I would wager a big percentage does, that goes undetected because the lovely, caring drs don't even test for it. "just pop this pill and you will be fine".
460185 tn?1326081372
Mr. Green, I think we build walls around ourselves to keep people away.  I don't like doing that but I admit that I do.

Peggy64 - I do know what you mean.  Although people can be lonely in a crowd, just being alone makes us more lonely.  The "meds" - it's just to easy to rely on them.  If you have these feelings because of thyroid problems, could a dr help?  Just a question.

Avatar universal
At least you are not alone here. You can see there are others just like you. We are all here for each other. People can take some comfort in that.
Avatar universal

Sorry your feeling bad.  I feel the same way at times.  Mostly, my anxiety cause my loneliness though.  Being anxious makes me scared which, in turn, causes me to want to be around someone for comfort.
370181 tn?1428180348
Hello old friend............it's been a very long time.
I know that at the height of my anxiety, I isolated myself from everyone and I believe strongly like you...........I believe that my intense feelings of lonliness caused my anxiety levels to rise. Like MrGreen said, I would watch other people living lives that looked so happy and perfect and that just made me feel worse, more anxious, more lonely. I tried to force myself out amongst people, but it didn't work. I wore my lonliness and anxiety like a shroud and I think my aura was of such sadness and hopelessness that people shied away from me......and the cycle just got worse.
I really do understand the feeling of lonliness being a bottomless pit..........and that pit is a very dark and scary place where the anxiety thrives. I did manage to claw my way out of that pit, but I am always teetering on the edge. I have no answer for you............just love and understanding and the knowledge of how strong you are. You WILL find your way out Wolfie..............
458072 tn?1291418786
Hi Natalie, I am on medication for the thyroid disorder, but all the other glands are "out of whacK" as well. So because of that, it will take quite some time to get everything straightened out. I just keep saying this bible verse....God has not given us a spirit of fear but of POWER, and LOVE, and of (my favorite) a SOUND MIND!!!! it is found in 2 Timothy. Deep breathing and focusing on that verse really helps, it is still awful, but at least I can tolerate it.

Thanks for asking.
953067 tn?1248398108
I'm hypothyroid now, have been hyper, treated, gone hypo, treated, got hyper and stayed that way according to doctors for many, many years. I think there's an acceptable range for doctor guidelines but a personal number that you may find suits you best.
My new doctor runs me low and I don't have chronic disorders anymore, like heart and stomach problems. I still have anxiety and depression like my mom but since I grew up managing hers I'm probably more accustomed to it than most. I just needed to know I wasn't choosing this feeling or experience, the way I didn't choose to have thyroid problems. A little xanax helps, after trying all the meds for going on 40 years.
Now, in hypo I've gained weight after being pathetically thin all my life, half my hair is gone, my eyebrows are half gone too, but I'm not in the ER every 3 weeks or having expensive tests done to see what's wrong with my heart, stomach, why I was crippled with back pain, etc, so I'm actually ahead of the game now. Life is relative.
MrGreen, well said! You should write a book, seriously...because I know I built my life around my symptoms of anxiety, no doubt enhanced back then by an overactive thyroid and side effects, but I did inherit that depression and anxiety from my mom, so I recognized it. It doesn't make it easier to live with but it made me feel comfortable building a weird little life I fit in. MrGreen, please post more often, just a few words will be gold!
greenlydia, forgive me for not thanking you and Sue for holding this forum when I joined. You are a lifesaver!
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