After I has my first panic attack, I was in a really bad place. I was getting a lot of physical symptoms and was always worrying about my health ect. I did not have suicidal thoughts per sey, and did/do not want to commit suicide, but I remember thinking how could I live the rest of my life feeling as ****** as I do.
Can you try to get in to some counseling, even if it is short term?
I have a therapist but I don't see her in a week and I see a psychiatrist in like 3 weeks. Just the thought doesn't go away I am really scared and anxious when I get that thought. I hope this goes away soon.
Have you tried to do some meditation? I have one that I do at night- its poritive affirmations and a breathing exercies. I find it does help a lot. If you feel that the suicidial feelings are getting really out of hand, go to emerg.
I am sorry that you are going through this right now. Initially, anxiety can come as a shock and cause all sorts of physical and mental feelings. In my experience, as with any challenge we face, it can be both frightening and confusing at first. In my opinion, what we don't understand, we may tend to fear and anxiety is not different. Just know that you are not alone in dealing with this and that it gets MUCH better the more you learn about it. Please feel free to ask as many questions as you like!