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Anxiety induced DP/DR is terrifying me

Here's some background; I'm 16, I smoked marijuana on a daily basis from about February - June, I've done other drugs once or twice but nothing periodically, and I drink (currently) and smoke every few days. I understand that all of these are unhealthy especially for someone at my age, but it's honestly all my friends do and I feel as if they would abandon me if I didn't partake. Anyway, about a month ago, I had sort of a psychotic episode on LSD, the actual trip was phenomenal but the comedown was extremely intense for me and very depressing. The morning after i was rather anxious thinking that I've ruined my life and destroyed my brain, but I went to my friends house, talked to him about it, and long story short felt a lot better. I took up smoking not short after that, and i'd say about a week or so later, my friend and I smoked out of a bong in the morning. Bad idea. I was insane, I thought I was dying, I just sat down and had this awful feeling in my chest. That entire day all I could do is fight these dark thoughts I was having. Anyways, I pretty much have had DP/DR ever since. I've gone over everything and my case appears to be as normal as anyone else's, except one thing; i still have these rather dark thoughts(like what if I killed that guy, etc.), and even typing that out makes me extremely anxious and worried. I'm afraid that these thoughts are a possible sign that I may be going insane, even though it sounds crazy and I know that. Is it normal to have these types of thoughts with DP/DR, or even in general? They really are what scare me, it's not even the DP/DR anymore. And one more thing, I know this is a really obvious and stupid question that even I know the answer to, but I think hearing some else say it to me would kind of be a wake up call; if I cut out all of the unhealthy habits in my life, will that speed up the healing process of DP/DR faster? Thanks for reading this, I know it's very long, I'm just going through very tough times right now.
2 Responses
Avatar universal
First of all when you say DR and DP do they stand for derealisation and depersonalisation?(may sound silly but just checking:) if so they can be unnerving but they are your brains way of protecting you from the anxiety you have by making you feel sort of numb so the thoughts etc. Don't distress you as much. It could actually be the thoughts causing this symptom because they are so distressing. I've had my fair share of distressing thoughts like I'm dying etc., but they dont mean you're going insane. In fact the majority of people have these sort of thoughts but they don't acknowledge them meaning they don't become as distressed so they can let them go, these thoughts are a normal thing with anxiety.
Personally I've never taken drugs but I do know they can cause anxiety and by stopping them will help this symptom but they may not completely get rid of it especially if the thoughts still continue. If these thoughts cause you extreme distress it could be an idea to visit you're doctor? I did for my anxiety and I started doing CBT which really helped because even though I still get the thoughts I can let them go where as before it was a vicious cycle.
Hoped this helped
Ps. If they are your friends then they should accept your decisions, so if you don't want to take drugs etc then they should respect that, look after yourself! It will get better I promise:)
Avatar universal
Here's the thing about recreational drugs -- they're fun when they're fun, but when they stop being fun it's time to move on.  It's hard because for many people the drugs become their lifestyle and determine their friends, but so would playing on a basketball team and having to give it up because of injury.  Some of the friends will stay around and some will not.  But more important is that you see a psychologist -- the suggestion above for CBT might be good but in your case maybe not the only option, as what you are really suffering isn't depersonalization and the like but more like a PTSD reaction to a traumatic event, the bad experience from the drug.  Many people on this forum got their first anxiety attacks while using pot, and when it happens, it's just time to stop using it and if the anxiety lingers, that's your mind lingering on it.  If you let that go too long it will become chronic anxiety, so intervene soon with a psychologist and learn to let it go and move on.
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