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Avatar universal

Anxiety is killing me about no risk

Hi all, I am staying off the HIV forums ( all say no risk , no test for oral sex) and no internet googling , my therapy starts Dec 13th but today I am having a really hard time.  What if's are flying around like crazy , I have a couple new small pimples on my cheek which sent me into a panic.  The holidays are here , work is stressful , and the thought I might have done this to myself keeps raising its head.  I know I should test for peace of mind as suggested but I cant bring myself yet.  I am so frightened.  I am hoping the therapy can help me.  Please, if someone could wave a magic wand and make this go away?  Thank you to all here for listening.
17 Responses
Avatar universal
Hi again, probably unrealistic to have anyone chime in so close to Thanksgiving. Anyway , to all the ones who help here , thank you , and Have a happy thanksgiving.
Avatar universal
Hi all, was hoping nursegirl could chime in for a nudge or push.  Went to my doc and he said it looks like foliculitus? I told him anxiety is really bad  and told my scenario about oral sex and he shook his head its extremely unlikely he said,  and gave me the order for the blood test to ease my mind.  Now I cant bring myself to go , here and aidsmeds are so adamant I have to believe and just go.  I could really use some help....I am so full of worry I cant work...
Avatar universal
I've been in your shoes.   Seriously take the test today, it will be negative and you will feel better than a million bucks. I promise. I was scared to take the test. lived in hell for a month. finally said i'm sick of this and took it.  sure enough it was negative. I put myself through hell for over a month, looking back I thought why didnt i just take it asap?? Go take it. once you find out its negative come post on here how happy you are. because you did not get hiv from oral sex.
Avatar universal
Thank you so much.  The people here continue to be so supportive , taking your personal time to help a complete stranger causes one to be very emotional and filled with gratitude.  you are right, I just have to go and see what happens.  I can tell you one thing for sure , I will never put myself in this situation again.  I have battled health anxiety and some depression my entire life , and why I would put myself in this situation I cannot understand. I am hoping that the therapist can help.  I will post back after the results , your response really helped , so thank you, thank you, thank you.
Avatar universal
Good. the only way your anxiety and fear will beat this is to get this test.  I know these next few days will suck waiting on the results, but if you didn;t get it you would worry EVERYDAY. so take a few days of worry and take the test. Don't worry man. If the only thing you had was some oral sex i'm 99.9999% sure it will be negative.  I was once worried about a girl who bit me.. i thought for sure i would contact it that way.. was scaared to get tested finally did, it was negative, and i was able to put it all behind me! felt so great!!!
Avatar universal
I'm going through exactly the same thing. Oral sex on a guy, so out of character for me. Really drunk at the time. Let me know how you get on please. Thoughts are with you.
Avatar universal
You do realize that .0001% is what I am afraid of right?  :)  I liked it better when you said I promise... lol    Anyway , I know its not rational thought and thats why I am starting therapy over the health anxiety as well.  Thanks again for all your input , I appreciate it greatly!
Avatar universal
there is also a .0001% chance the sun could explode today.  Did you take the test yet? I'm telling you when you get the results you'll feel so much better.
Avatar universal
You are right , lightning could strike as well.  Making appt for Fri. , scared out of my mind.  If its ends up different than I have been told by many , then I will never understand why I was told no risk , no test needed.  I know its my fault , not anyone else 's for what happens to me. But they should never profess no risk for oral even if it happens .0001 of the time.  And then you are left with no way to confirm and no one to believe you.  Geez, sorry about that.  I just want this over..  You have been very kind for taking your time with me.  Thank you very much..
Avatar universal
How'd you get on?
Avatar universal
Kept putting it off, too scared,  just went , now I am waiting for my doc to call with results, a couple days I think.  I was going to wait until after the holidays but the anxiety is too bad.  Again I was assured by many of a negative result , as oral was not a risk.  Have a psych doc appt coming up as well.  One thing I know for sure I will never let that happen again.  I want to thank you for asking.  I dont think I have ever been so worried and anxious. I really hope they are all right about what they say.  I did read Nursegirls blog about it , it was a big relief for at least a little while.  
Avatar universal
Good, worse thing for you to do is to put it off. Glad you finally got in there.
Avatar universal
three skills must be learnt to overcome anxiety:

Firstly, a method of releasing or handling the subconscious "hurt memories" which have been stored.
Secondly, developing self-confidence to deal with the actual situation which triggers the anxiety.
Thirdly, developing new responses to express the emotions that are felt when the situation recurs.

Hope this help!
Regards,
Avatar universal
First , thank you to all that posted and helped with my situation, it is greatly appreciated.  Second, all tests came back NEGATIVE!! :)  Give me sec , i am dancing...  :)   Apparently , the people here know what they are talking about.  I was convinced otherwise.  Therapy has started and I will work to get my anxiety under control.  Thank you all again, and Merry Christmas.
480448 tn?1426952138
Yay!  

I had no doubt.  I'm glad you can finally put this behind you and move on!
Avatar universal
You feel better then a million bucks?!
Avatar universal
If you could bottle my feelings right now it would eliminate anxiety....  :)

Thanks everyone!
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