We all want to be who we were before this started and you will be too!
Thanks so much for your quick reply. I am working with a psychologist to address anxiety. Actually starting CBT therapy today so looking forward to that. You're so right though... I have never been chronically sick before so this has been so hard to accept as something I could actually be doing to myself through "wrong thinking". I am working with my doc to rule out medical issues but she is pretty convinced its anxiety so I feel like sometimes getting her to consider other options is something I have to really push for. It took 2 months of seeing her for her to finally say we'll get an exclusionary CT scan done. I feel more comfortable knowing that BOTH sides are being looked at and my symptoms, as common as they are to anxiety, are not being written off to anxiety. Starting back on SSRI meds today (had a bad initial experience as I explained in a previous post).
13 years ago my father had a pain in his arm that got worse and on a routine xray at the emergency it turned out to be stage 4 lung cancer and he was gone in 3 months. I know that is extreme but no doubt is playing a role in my health anxiety related issues.
I just want to be who I was before this all started....
Hi again! One of the hardest parts about treating anxiety is initially accepting that's what we have. Especially for people who have NO history of anxiety. It just doesn't make sense that "all of a sudden" one is plagued with anxiety when they never had it before! That leaves a person searching madly for a more reasonable answer, many times for long periods of time, ultimately delaying anxiety treatment.
If you can, focus on the fact that you HAVE been working with your doc to rule out any medical problem (which is always important), and thus far, you've gotten a clean bill of health. Having the CT scan is another step you can cross off your list of medical evaluations.
There comes a time when you really have to start looking at the facts before you. One, your medical assessments have not indicated any health issue. Two, your symptoms are VERY common amongst anxiety sufferers. Three, you DID have an initial panic attack, which is usually the trigger for chronic anxiety in these kinds of cases. Four, anxiety DOES often present itself "out of the blue", so rather than that characteristic being evidence against anxiety, it is actually more telling of anxiety.
I can't recall what you have done to start addressing the anxiety, if anything. If you haven't, then you need to start somewhere. It may still take some time for you to accept that your symptoms are truly anxiety related. Look at it this way, you have nothing to lose by working with a professional to help the anxiety symptoms. That would also be more evidence to support or rule out anxiety...if you start addressing the anxiety and your symptoms start improving, it's pretty much a no-brainer. This whole process may take some time, so try tp be patient with yourself.
You're on the right track, hang in there and keep updating us! We know how hard this is!